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Old 12-19-2006, 10:33 AM   #1
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Holiday Eating Tips

1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing of the Christmas spirit. In fact, if you see carrots, leave immediately. Go next door, where they're serving rum balls.

2. Drink as much eggnog as you can. And quickly, it's rare. You can't find it any other time of year but now. So drink up! Who cares that it has 10,000 calories in every sip? It's not as if you're going to turn into an eggnog-alcoholic or something. It's a treat. Enjoy it. Have one for me. Have two. It's later than you think. It's Christmas!

3. If something comes with gravy, use it. That's the whole point of gravy. Gravy does not stand-alone. Pour it on. Make a volcano out of your mashed potatoes. Fill it with gravy. Eat the volcano. Repeat.

4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.

5. Do not have a snack before going to a party in an effort to control your eating. The whole point of going to a Christmas party is to eat other people's food for free. Lots of it. Hello?

6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

7. If you come across something really good at a buffet table, like frosted Christmas cookies in the shape and size of Santa, position yourself near them and don't budge. Have as many as you can before becoming the center of attention. They're like a beautiful pair of shoes. If you leave them behind, you're never going to see them again.

8. Same for pies. Apple. Pumpkin. Mincemeat. Have a slice of each. Or if you don't like mincemeat, have two apples and one pumpkin. Always have three. When else do you get to have more than one dessert? Labor Day?

9. Did someone mention fruitcake? Granted, it's loaded with the mandatory celebratory calories, but avoid it at all cost. I mean, have some standards.

10. One final tip: If you don't feel terrible when you leave the party or get up from the table, you haven't been paying attention. Re-read tips; start over, but hurry, January is just around the corner.

Remember this motto to live by: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO what a ride!"

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidaze
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Old 12-19-2006, 01:46 PM   #2
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Wear loose trousers to accomodate your holiday gut

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Old 12-19-2006, 03:16 PM   #3
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This is the best advice I've gotten in awhile. Thanks!
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Old 12-19-2006, 03:18 PM   #4
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And always come to the parties with an empty stomach
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Old 12-19-2006, 03:41 PM   #5
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Think of Africa.



BTW is eggnog made with raw eggs?
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Old 12-19-2006, 05:54 PM   #6
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Re: Holiday Eating Tips

Quote:
Originally posted by bayou12780


6. Under no circumstances should you exercise between now and New Year's. You can do that in January when you have nothing else to do. This is the time for long naps, which you'll need after circling the buffet table while carrying a 10-pound plate of food and that vat of eggnog.

Oooooooh this will be a great excuse for me to forgo my kickboxing for the holidays

Btw eggnog is always great this time of the year
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Old 12-19-2006, 06:15 PM   #7
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Oh man, Christmas Eve, birthday, second Christmas day eating the rest.

That's a feast.
Never had eggnog, but sounds delicious.

And I will come after you if you get lazy with your kickboxing





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Old 12-19-2006, 08:40 PM   #8
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Re: Holiday Eating Tips

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Originally posted by bayou12780
4. As for mashed potatoes, always ask if they're made with skim milk or whole milk. If it's skim, pass. Why bother? It's like buying a sports car with an automatic transmission.
I make mine with sour cream
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Old 12-19-2006, 09:01 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by Vincent Vega
Oh man, Christmas Eve, birthday, second Christmas day eating the rest.

That's a feast.
Never had eggnog, but sounds delicious.

And I will come after you if you get lazy with your kickboxing





If I give you some eggnog than will you take an easy on me?

Wow that's a lot of food to eat in a matter of days! lol
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:45 PM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lara Mullen
Wear loose trousers to accomodate your holiday gut

bwahaha! I have relatives who will actually lean back and unbuckle their belts!
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Old 12-19-2006, 10:54 PM   #11
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Eggnog sounds revolting.
It's always hot here at Christmas. We have Christmas pudding with icecream, red & green lollies, nuts etc. YUMBO.
Novelty Xmas T-shirts are big here, they hide your Xmas gut.
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Old 12-19-2006, 11:42 PM   #12
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Ok, so bayou12780, can I assume you will take the blame when my jeans don't fit me in a couple of weeks time?

Just kidding, that's some damn good advice - and you're right, January is for excercise...isn't that what New Years Resolutions are for?
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Old 12-20-2006, 12:35 AM   #13
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12780 is the amount of calories you just endorsed.
can't do it. Must hold it down to 10,000. Just one cup of rum, I mean, egg nog - please
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Old 12-20-2006, 10:23 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by mandy1973
Ok, so bayou12780, can I assume you will take the blame when my jeans don't fit me in a couple of weeks time?
Yup, not that it'll do ya any good!

Quote:
Originally posted by sue4u2
12780 is the amount of calories you just endorsed.
Clever and probably true - but who's counting?! See y'all at the gym in Jan!
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Old 12-20-2006, 01:53 PM   #15
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Quote:
Originally posted by BonosBaby12


If I give you some eggnog than will you take an easy on me?

Wow that's a lot of food to eat in a matter of days! lol

Good trade I think
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