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Old 12-12-2007, 09:18 PM   #1
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Holiday cheer!!

C'mon! We can all use a few good laughs this time of year! Don't be so serious. Share your funny holiday jokes, riddles, photos, stories, comics here!


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Old 12-12-2007, 09:19 PM   #2
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I like!
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Old 12-13-2007, 10:40 AM   #3
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Old 12-13-2007, 10:43 AM   #4
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Good one, Carek
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Old 12-13-2007, 03:11 PM   #5
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Old 12-13-2007, 03:16 PM   #6
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love it Carek!

Here are some that got sent to me the other day:



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Old 12-13-2007, 03:20 PM   #7
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This is my favorite one

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Old 12-13-2007, 03:22 PM   #8
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oh my...
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Old 12-13-2007, 03:23 PM   #9
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Old 12-14-2007, 01:05 AM   #10
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12 Days of Christmas - A Cat's Rendition

On the twelfth day of Christmas my human gave to me:
Twelve bags of catnip!
Eleven tarter Pounce treats,
Ten ornaments hanging,
Nine wads of Kleenex,
Eight peacock feathers,
Seven stolen Q-tips,
Six feathered balls,
Five MILK JUG RINGS!
Four munchy house plants,
Three running faucets,
Two fuzzy mousies,
And a hamste-e-er in a plastic ball!!
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Old 12-14-2007, 01:08 AM   #11
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HAVE A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS
(by Chet Raymo)
'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the house
Not a creature was stirring, except father's mouse.
The computer was humming, the icons were hopping,
As father did last-minute Internet shopping.

The stockings were hung next the modem with care
In the hope that Santa would bring new software.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
With visions of computer games filling their heads.

Dark Forces for Billy, Doom II is for Dan,
Carmen Sandiego for Pamela Ann.
The letters to Santa had been sent out by mom,
To santa@toyshop.northpole.com -

Which now had been re-routed to Washington State
Where Santa's workshop had been moved by Bill Gates.
All the elves and the reindeer had had to skedaddle
To flashy new quarters in suburban Seattle.

After living a life that was simple and spare,
Santa now finds that he's a new billionaire,
With a shiny red Porsche in place of his sleigh,
And a house on Lake Washington just down the way
From where Bill has his mansion, and the old fellow preens
In black Gucci boots and red Calvin Klein jeans.
The elves have stock options and desks with a view,
Where they write computer code for Johnny and Sue.

No more dolls or tin soldiers or little toy drums
Will be under the tree, only compact disk roms
With the Microsoft label. So spin up your drive,
From now on Christmas runs only on Win95.

More rapid than eagles the competitors came,
And Bill whistled, and shouted, and called them by name.
"Now, ADOBE! now, CLARIS! now, INTUIT! too,
Now, APPLE! and NETSCAPE! you're all of you through,

It's Microsoft's SANTA that the kids can't resist,
It's the ultimate software with a traditional twist -
Recommended by no less than the jolly old elf,
And on the package, a picture of Santa himself.

Get 'em young, keep 'em long, is Microsoft's theme,
And a merger with Santa is a marketer's dream.
To the top of the NASDAQ! To the top of the Dow!
Now dash away! dash away! dash away - wow!"

And mum in her 'kerchief and me in my cap,
Had just settled down for a long winter's nap,
When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

The whir and the hum of our satellite platter,
As it turned toward that new Christmas star in the sky,
The SANTALITE owned by the Microsoft guy.
As I sprang from my bed and was turning around,
My computer turned on with a Jingle-Bells sound.

And there on the screen was a smiling Bill Gates
Next to jolly old Santa, two arm-in-arm mates.
And I heard them exclaim in voices so bright,
HAVE A MICROSOFT CHRISTMAS,
and TO ALL A GOOD NIGHT.
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Old 12-14-2007, 01:15 AM   #12
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Cats' Favorite Christmas Carols


10. Up on the Mousetop
9. Have Yourself a Furry Little Christmas
8. Joy to the Curled
7. I Saw Mommy Hiss at Santa Claus
6. The First Meow
5. Oh, Come All Ye Fishful
4. Silent Mice
3. Fluffy, the Snowman
2. Jingle Balls
1. Wreck the Halls!



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Old 12-14-2007, 01:20 AM   #13
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What happened when the snowgirl fell out with the snowboy ?
She gave him the cold shoulder !


What do snowmen wear on their heads ?
Ice caps !


What do snowmen eat for lunch ?
Icebergers !


Where do snowmen go to dance ?
Snowballs !


How do snowmen travel around ?
By iceicle !


What sort of ball doesn't bounce ?
A snowball !


How do you know when there is a snowman in your bed ?
You wake up wet !


What do you get if cross a snowman and a shark ?
Frost bite !


How do you call an Eskimo cow ?
An Eskimoo !


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Old 12-14-2007, 01:21 AM   #14
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Old 12-14-2007, 01:22 AM   #15
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