Hole of Horcum Superthread

[Axver]

We get these great ones during Seinfeld.

Do you like blondes? Text 'blonde' to 4747
Or how about teens? Text 'teen' to 4747

.....on and on it goes, and then....

Don't forget about our nasty ladies! Text 'nasty' to 4747


All with dodgy midi sounding music in the background. I always laugh.

There's one here with these ultra-plastic bikini clad women on a boat cruising some bay, with the voiceover stating that "beautiful women are waiting for your call right now".

Yeah, I bet that's EXACTLY how it works.

 

[Axver]

Something i just replied to on another forum




Alright Horcum. You have five seconds to point out the number of funny things about this quote.

Rarely will you find such a true case of "pot, meet kettle".

 

[coolian2]

There's one here with these ultra-plastic bikini clad women on a boat cruising some bay, with the voiceover stating that "beautiful women are waiting for your call right now".

Yeah, I bet that's EXACTLY how it works.

I'm hoping that lingerie wearing blonde sitting suggestively on the bed is who i just sent that text message to....right? Right??

 

[Axver]

Oram's now out there batting.

Hussey's on 52 off 33.

 

[Axver]

I'm hoping that lingerie wearing blonde sitting suggestively on the bed is who i just sent that text message to....right? Right??

HE WANTS YOUR BODY.

No, that last sentence is not missing an 's' at the start.

 

[coolian2]

Rarely will you find such a true case of "pot, meet kettle".

I was so stunned i could only reply with some nonsense about grammatical irony.


Which has been well received though.

 

[coolian2]

HE WANTS YOUR BODY.

No, that last sentence is not missing an 's' at the start.

I'm picturing a bearded, greasy, overweight guy smoking a cigarette.

 

[Axver]

Haha, late night ads for ISPs are terrible too. "I-Primus: get what you want quickly" with the image of some beauty queen turning up at the door of this teenage guy's place.

Damn, I've been online six years now and no beauty queens have just turned up at my door!

 

[Axver]

I'm picturing a bearded, greasy, overweight guy smoking a cigarette.

Sharpening his knives. I meant it when I said he wants your body.

 

[Axver]

"Hopes tries, he had some hope."

Shut up, Greg Chappell.

 

[coolian2]

Sharpening his knives. I meant it when I said he wants your body.

Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

 

[Axver]

The ad selection this late at night is demented.

We've had ads for Channel 10 bullshit shows like Biggest Loser, then dating agency ads ... and now Nestle yoghurt ads pitched at parents of small children. Trying to encourage cheating husbands who want to meet a mistress but feed their kids the healthiest yoghurt they can find?

 

[coolian2]

Haha, late night ads for ISPs are terrible too. "I-Primus: get what you want quickly" with the image of some beauty queen turning up at the door of this teenage guy's place.

Damn, I've been online six years now and no beauty queens have just turned up at my door!

And given how much i'm paying for internet i should have a gaggle of them around me 24/7.

Not fair!

 

[coolian2]

"Hopes tries, he had some hope."

Shut up, Greg Chappell.

Phail.

 

[coolian2]

The ad selection this late at night is demented.

We've had ads for Channel 10 bullshit shows like Biggest Loser, then dating agency ads ... and now Nestle yoghurt ads pitched at parents of small children. Trying to encourage cheating husbands who want to meet a mistress but feed their kids the healthiest yoghurt they can find?

I'm tempted to turn on some network TV here, but i don't think anything TVNZ or TV3 have to offer would be as remotely funny!

 

[Axver]

I'm tempted to turn on some network TV here, but i don't think anything TVNZ or TV3 have to offer would be as remotely funny!

I remember when I was little, none of them even broadcast anything this late! I remember the days of Station Shutdown and programming beginning only at 6am.

 

[Axver]

And given how much i'm paying for internet i should have a gaggle of them around me 24/7.

Not fair!

Whenever I bitch about how shit Aussie Internet is, I remind myself "at least I'm not in New Zealand these days".

My father's a stinge and still uses dialup because the costs of Kiwi DSL piss him off.

 

[coolian2]

I remember when I was little, none of them even broadcast anything this late! I remember the days of Station Shutdown and programming beginning only at 6am.

Didn't the guy who slept in the TV station put the cat out before everything went off the air?

 

[coolian2]

Whenever I bitch about how shit Aussie Internet is, I remind myself "at least I'm not in New Zealand these days".

My father's a stinge and still uses dialup because the costs of Kiwi DSL piss him off.

If i keep pedalling i can keep posting!

It's damn close to that anyway.

 

[Axver]

Didn't the guy who slept in the TV station put the cat out before everything went off the air?

I have no idea if you're actually referencing something as I was never allowed up that late. But I always rose early. I'd be up around 5:50am and watch the last of the Teletext filler before the cartoons began at 6am.

 

[Axver]

If i keep pedalling i can keep posting!

It's damn close to that anyway.

Meanwhile, in South Korea, some guy just downloaded half the porn on the Internet in 3.5 seconds.

 

[Axver]

Shiiit, Hussey gets 100 off just 50 balls.

 

[coolian2]

I have no idea if you're actually referencing something as I was never allowed up that late. But I always rose early. I'd be up around 5:50am and watch the last of the Teletext filler before the cartoons began at 6am.

Bugger!

I'm led to believe the guy who lived in the TV station - i think it was just a big satellite dish - would go all the way downstairs to put the cat out, and by the time he got back upstairs the cat was sitting back on the bed.




Was it the Goodnight Kiwi? I can't remember now.

 

[coolian2]

Meanwhile, in South Korea, some guy just downloaded half the porn on the Internet in 3.5 seconds.

 

[coolian2]

Shiiit, Hussey gets 100 off just 50 balls.

Wow.

 

[Axver]

Final score for Chennai, 5/240! Holy fucking shit.

How the hell is Punjab meant to chase THAT down?

 

[Axver]

Bugger!

I'm led to believe the guy who lived in the TV station - i think it was just a big satellite dish - would go all the way downstairs to put the cat out, and by the time he got back upstairs the cat was sitting back on the bed.




Was it the Goodnight Kiwi? I can't remember now.

This actually does ring a faint bell, but probably just from being told about it. I don't think I was ever allowed up past about 8-9pm. So that meant I'd wake around 5:30-6am all the time. I remember during the 1992 Barcelona Olympics, Channel One would start its programming every day by doing some montage with the Kiwi anthem over the top. That's when I first learnt the words to the anthem in Maori (now that I think about it, I think this montage had just the Maori version).

 

[coolian2]

Final score for Chennai, 5/240! Holy fucking shit.

How the hell is Punjab meant to chase THAT down?

With great difficulty, one would imagine.

 

[Axver]

With great difficulty, one would imagine.

I just hope they don't roll over like Bangalore did yesterday against Kolkata.

 

[coolian2]

Dear (non-existent?) god, i love YouTube.


The Goodnight Kiwi in all his glory:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=1bHJzrryb1I