Hold on to your sides, world's funniest joke revealed by scientists

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LONDON -- After months of serious study and much merriment, 100,000 people have voted on the world's funniest joke.
In an experiment named Laughlab, a joke about Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's famous fictional detective Sherlock Holmes and his sidekick Dr. Watson emerged a clear winner Thursday from 10,000 entries.

(12” extended version)

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of red, they lay down for the night and went to sleep. Some hours later Holmes woke up, nudged his faithful friend and said, "Watson, I want you to look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson said, "I see millions and millions of stars." Sherlock said, "And what does that tell you?" After a minute or so of pondering Watson said, "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. It's quite likely there are some planets like Earth, and if there are a few planets like Earth out there, there might also be life.' Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Metereologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day today. What does it tell you?" Holmes was silent for about 30 seconds and said, “Watson. It tells me, someone has stolen our fucking tent.”

By Polly Stewart, Associated Press, 12/20/01

Ok, so this old news but I just found the joke in this months Maxim. Got a better one?
 
Its old news...for anyone in the UK it was on Richard and Judy months ago.....hmm makes me wonder whether i need a life or not....though its an ok joke certainly not the best ever....
 
LJT said:
Its old news...for anyone in the UK it was on Richard and Judy months ago.....hmm makes me wonder whether i need a life or not....though its an ok joke certainly not the best ever....

Good old Richard and Judy! Leg ends.


A dyslexic man walks into a bra....
 
Mother Superior calls all the Nuns together and says to them:

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of Gonorrhea in the
convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly Nun at the back. "I'm so sick of Chardonnay."
 
Dasani said:
Mother Superior calls all the Nuns together and says to them:

"I must tell you all something. We have a case of Gonorrhea in the
convent."

"Thank God," said an elderly Nun at the back. "I'm so sick of Chardonnay."

lol thats funny!!!!! :lol:
 
Darth Vader says to Luke Skywalker: "i know what you have got for christmas"

Luke replies:"how do you know that?"

Darth:"i felt your presence"
 
A man was walking past a grave yard and he heard one of Beethoven's symphoney's playing backwards. No one was around, so he starts searching for the source. He finally locates the origin and finds it is coming from a grave with a headstone that reads:

Ludwig van Beethoven, 1770-1827.

The next day the same man walked past the same cemetary and heard another one of Beethoven's symphony's playing backward's. He thought to himself "Now that's REALLY wierd!" and kept going.

The next day the same man was once again walking past the same cemetary and heard "Ode to Joy" playing backwards. The man said "I can't take this any more!" he walked up to the caretaker and asked, "What is going on around here?!" the caretaker answered, "Oh, that's just Beethoven decomposing."
 
A woman is giving birth to a baby in hospital. The doctor then picks up the baby, throws it around the room, throws it up in the air and throws it against the wall. The doctor then throws the baby at the mother, but it misses and goes out the window.

The mother cried “doctor! You’ve killed my baby!”

The doctor replied: “haha, April fools! The babies already dead!”
 
sindaddy said:
What's brown and sticky?
a stick:tongue:

This joke always, without fail turns any joke telling sequence into a downward spiral... The following jokes will then be, in order...

Why did the boy fall off the swing? Somone threw a fridge at him.
Why did the plane crash? The piolit was a piece of toast.
Why did the girl fall off the skateboard? It had no wheels. :scratch: (I've never quite got this one)
Why did the fridge fall over? Somone threw a boy on a bike at it.
What is yellow and dangerous? Shark infested custard.
How do you make a sausage roll? Push it down a hill.
Whats Green and looks like a bucket? A Green Bucket?
Whats red and looks like a bucket? A Red Bucket in disguise.

This thread = :lol:
 
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