Hilarious child support application comments - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Click Here to Login
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
Old 09-28-2002, 02:18 PM   #1
Bono's Belly Dancing Friend
Mrs. Edge's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Torontonian in Maryland
Posts: 2,913
Local Time: 01:51 PM
Hilarious child support application comments

Taken from today's Toronto Star:

Father Figures

The following are not Monty Python sketch ideas. They are actual replies British women have put on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing father's details (for the state to track down child support payments):

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by (name removed). I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party (address and date given) where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.

4. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I'd have stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at (address given) mine might have remained unfertilized.

5. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad, as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by you or right by my country. Please advise.

6. I do not know who the father of my child was, as all squaddies (soldiers) look the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.

7. (Name given) is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs ?

8. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Euro Disney. Maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.

9. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.

Mrs. Edge is offline  
Old 09-28-2002, 03:55 PM   #2
Rock n' Roll Doggie
madonna's child's Avatar
Join Date: May 2001
Location: NYC
Posts: 5,566
Local Time: 12:51 PM


madonna's child is offline  
Old 09-28-2002, 04:29 PM   #3
Blue Crack Addict
anitram's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2001
Location: NY
Posts: 16,440
Local Time: 01:51 PM

anitram is offline  
Old 09-28-2002, 09:12 PM   #4
Blue Crack Distributor
LarryMullen's POPAngel's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: I'll be up with the sun, I'm not coming down...
Posts: 53,698
Local Time: 12:51 PM

LarryMullen's POPAngel is offline  
Old 09-28-2002, 09:30 PM   #5
Naya's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: Brisbane (with Montreal in my heart!)
Posts: 2,142
Local Time: 12:51 PM

Naya is offline  
Old 09-28-2002, 09:40 PM   #6
love, blood, life
Join Date: May 2002
Location: Tempe, Az USA
Posts: 12,856
Local Time: 10:51 AM

For the record..
I know none of theses applicants...

diamond is offline  
Old 09-29-2002, 02:12 AM   #7
Jesus Online
Angela Harlem's Avatar
Join Date: Dec 1969
Location: a glass castle
Posts: 30,163
Local Time: 04:51 AM
Your name is cleared due to the fact you would not drive a Beemer Diamond. Not because we trust you. K?

<a href=http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v196/angelaharlem/thPaul_Roos28.jpg target=_blank>http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v1...aul_Roos28.jpg</a>
Angela Harlem is offline  
Old 09-29-2002, 04:40 AM   #8
Rock n' Roll Doggie
MonaVox's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Brooklyn, NY
Posts: 3,460
Local Time: 12:51 PM

MonaVox is offline  
Old 09-29-2002, 08:31 AM   #9
love, blood, life
pax's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Ewen's new American home
Posts: 11,412
Local Time: 01:51 PM
Big Grin

I copied and pasted #3 into my AIM profile.
and you hunger for the time
time to heal, desire, time

Join Amnesty.
pax is offline  
Old 09-29-2002, 08:57 AM   #10
Rock n' Roll Doggie
ghetofabu's Avatar
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: The Kitchen
Posts: 4,038
Local Time: 11:51 AM
I just AIMed you pax. I went and looked at your profile.
ghetofabu is offline  
Old 09-30-2002, 02:32 AM   #11
War Child
MiniFly's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: At Johnny Depp's house.
Posts: 696
Local Time: 09:51 AM

I'll bet the man in #3 was .
MiniFly is offline  
Old 09-30-2002, 11:06 AM   #12
Not George Lucas's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: South Bend, IN USA
Posts: 399
Local Time: 05:51 PM
I am nubers 3 and 5. HAHAHAHA!
Not George Lucas is offline  
Old 09-30-2002, 11:20 AM   #13
New Yorker
sharky's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2000
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 2,637
Local Time: 12:51 PM
Originally posted by Not George Lucas
I am nubers 3 and 5. HAHAHAHA!
wow. so much for the belief that [not] George Lucas is too nerdy and making Star Wars movies to get a date.
sharky is offline  
Old 09-30-2002, 03:36 PM   #14
Rock n' Roll Doggie
Giant Lemon's Avatar
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: out in the slipstream
Posts: 3,265
Local Time: 05:51 PM
Re: Hilarious child support application comments

Giant Lemon is offline  
Old 09-30-2002, 09:18 PM   #15
u2er's Avatar
Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Houston, TX
Posts: 2,415
Local Time: 12:51 PM


u2er is offline  

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -5. The time now is 12:51 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2018, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com