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Old 06-01-2005, 11:29 AM   #1
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Havent been around - Just got back from the future!

2029 to be exact. Here are the headlines

* Ozone created by electric cars now killing millions in the seventh largest country in the world, Mexifornia, formally known as California.

* Couple petitions court to reinstate heterosexual marriage.

* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

* Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.

* France pleads for global help after being over taken by Jamaica.

* Castro finally dies at age 112; Cuban cigars can now be imported legally, but President Chelsea Clinton has banned all smoking.

* George Z. Bush says he will run for President in 2036.

* Postal Service raises price of first class stamp to $17.89 and reduces mail delivery to Wednesdays only.

* 85-year, $75.8 billion study: Diet and Exercise are the keys to weight loss.

* Average weight of Americans drops to 250 lbs.

* Japanese scientists have created a camera with such a fast shutter speed, they now can photograph a woman with her mouth shut.

* Massachusetts executes last remaining conservative.

* Supreme Court rules punishment of criminals violates their civil rights.

* Average height of NBA players now nine feet, seven inches.

* New federal law requires that all nail clippers, screwdrivers, fly swatters and rolled-up newspapers must be registered by January 2036.

* Congress authorizes direct deposit of formerly illegal political contributions to campaign accounts.

* IRS sets lowest tax rate at 75 percent.

* Spotted Owl plague threatens northwestern United States crops and livestock.

* Baby conceived naturally . . . scientists stumped!

And finally

* Florida voters still don't know how to use a voting machine.
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Old 06-01-2005, 11:31 AM   #2
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any word on the advancements of the pizza pie?
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Old 06-01-2005, 11:32 AM   #3
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Re: Havent been around - Just got back from the future!

Quote:
Originally posted by Eliv8
* Last remaining Fundamentalist Muslim dies in the American Territory of the Middle East (formerly known as Iran, Afghanistan, Syria and Lebanon).

* Iran still closed off; physicists estimate it will take at least 10 more years before radioactivity decreases to safe levels.
Har har.

The suggestion that the Middle East will be, or should, destroyed by nuclear war or totally annexed by America isn't actually all that funny, believe it or not.

Sorry, not in the mood to deal with flame wars here, too.
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Old 06-01-2005, 11:41 AM   #4
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From the FAQs, in case anyone is interested...

If the thread has racial slurs or other derogatory comments it is subject to closing.
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