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Old 07-30-2002, 10:05 AM   #1
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Funnier than your average forwarded list

Things you'd love to say at work but can't



1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh... I see the f***-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.

14. I'm already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of
view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks
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Old 07-30-2002, 10:08 AM   #2
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That Is Hilarious!!!!!!!

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Old 07-30-2002, 10:10 AM   #3
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I wonder if anyone has actually said those things
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Old 07-30-2002, 10:12 AM   #4
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I used the No. 10 today on a DBA who made a pretty bad mistake. Copied the whole department, of course.
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Old 07-30-2002, 10:14 AM   #5
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8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

I've said that before. Mainly cuz I am a consultant. lol.
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Old 07-30-2002, 12:21 PM   #6
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Re: Funnier than your average forwarded list

24. Do I look like a people person?
I also use this one outside the office
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Old 07-30-2002, 01:53 PM   #7
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Oh my God!
I've never heard any of these, but they're all hillarious!
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Old 07-30-2002, 04:07 PM   #8
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Funny stuff! I'll have to remember the "F*ck-up Fairy" one...
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Old 07-30-2002, 06:35 PM   #9
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Old 07-30-2002, 09:32 PM   #10
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Re: Funnier than your average forwarded list

Quote:
Originally posted by Klodomir
38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks
lol.....I definitely feel like this sometimes....
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Old 07-30-2002, 09:43 PM   #11
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All I can say is this......

ROTFLMAO
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Old 07-31-2002, 12:33 AM   #12
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I think I will print this one out and take it to work.
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Old 07-31-2002, 01:09 AM   #13
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19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?



now that's me.......i'll remember that one.......
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