Fresh Kills, Staten Island Superthread

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I don't see the point in arguing with you about this, because it will just go around in circles. Instead, let me give you two visions of your life.

1. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep seeing a therapist who's no good for you. Keep failing to address the issue. Keep taking medication that isn't treating what's wrong with you. Who knows what that's doing to you? But whatever the case, keep going down this path. You see how you are now? Do you want to be like this when you're thirty, when you're fifty, when you're eighty? Do you want this to be your life? Do you want to sit there when you're fifty, still just as miserable, probably having achieved none of your potential and let your family down, and think "shit, I wish I'd done things differently"?

2. Make some changes now. Maybe there will be some short term problems, or maybe you can come up with convincing explanations that alleviate any tensions. Whatever the case, find someone who will actually help. Get the actual problem addressed. Get medication that actually treats what's wrong. Don't be like this when you're thirty, let alone fifty or eighty. Be well-adjusted and confident and going somewhere worthwhile with your life, rather than going around in the same bleak mental circles for the rest of your life. Your family will notice a positive change and it'll make them a hell of a lot happier.

Your choice.

Amen. The fear of path #1 is what made me finally make the decision to get back into therapy (after four years without it) and back on medication. And now my life is at least going somewhere. It was tough at first, and painful. There were tears and near panic attacks, but something had to be done. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

Screwtape, you have to ask yourself, 'When will there be a better time to make some changes?' You can keep waiting for the perfect time, but it might not come. Maybe it's time to stop making excuses and running away from the responsibility of taking care of your problems. If you want to change, you're the only person that can make that happen.
 
I don't see the point in arguing with you about this, because it will just go around in circles. Instead, let me give you two visions of your life.

2. Make some changes now. Maybe there will be some short term problems, or maybe you can come up with convincing explanations that alleviate any tensions. Whatever the case, find someone who will actually help. Get the actual problem addressed. Get medication that actually treats what's wrong. Don't be like this when you're thirty, let alone fifty or eighty. Be well-adjusted and confident and going somewhere worthwhile with your life, rather than going around in the same bleak mental circles for the rest of your life. Your family will notice a positive change and it'll make them a hell of a lot happier.

Your choice.

I would choose this. I am honestly afraid of the short term consequences. I don't want to take my mom on this journey anymore. It isn't good for her.
 
Amen. The fear of path #1 is what made me finally make the decision to get back into therapy (after four years without it) and back on medication. And now my life is at least going somewhere. It was tough at first, and painful. There were tears and near panic attacks, but something had to be done. You can't make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

And until you said something on this thread, I had never guessed any of this about you. You seemed like one of the more socially confident people here, to me! So clearly it's worked for you. I see no reason to believe it wouldn't work for Screwtape either.

Screwtape, you have to ask yourself, 'When will there be a better time to make some changes?' You can keep waiting for the perfect time, but it might not come. Maybe it's time to stop making excuses and running away from the responsibility of taking care of your problems. If you want to change, you're the only person that can make that happen.

Well said. :up:
 
I would choose this. I am honestly afraid of the short term consequences. I don't want to take my mom on this journey anymore. It isn't good for her.

But by choosing option 1 you are taking her on this journey. That's what you're not seeing: you want things to be better for your family as well as yourself. What makes this decision easier is the fact that by choosing option 2, you're helping both, and by choosing option 1, you're hurting both. Sure, it's not exactly that simple, but it's pretty close.
 
After writing that essay, I'm pretty convinced the death penalty just got fucked up by my rhetoric and research. Huzzah!
 
My buddy has a shore house outside of Rehoboth, so I spent a day there and a day in Ocean City, MD.

More your neck of the woods.

I've been out there in the past. A couple years back, I stayed at Bethany Beach and traveled 20 or so minutes to Ocean City. Beautiful place. Hope you had a good time.
 
I would choose this. I am honestly afraid of the short term consequences. I don't want to take my mom on this journey anymore. It isn't good for her.
Are you under your parents' medical insurance, or are they footing the bill or something. Otherwise they don't necessarily need to be involved at all. You're an adult, perfectly capable of making and attending your own appointments.

I suggest you look into a behavioural health center in your city. The payment options can be quite reasonable, if you want to take care of it for yourself. I don't have insurance, and I only have to pay $20 per appointment, which is not bad at all.
 
I would choose this. I am honestly afraid of the short term consequences. I don't want to take my mom on this journey anymore. It isn't good for her.

So you'll choose short term "gain" (if it can even be called that) for massive long term loss rather than short term pain (which can be alleviated by careful explanations) for massive long term gain? I know you're smarter than that.

Don't take your mother on the journey of having a son who reaches fifty still going around in the same bleak mental circles from when he was twenty, having not achieved his potential. Do you think she'd prefer that journey? Really?
 
I've been out there in the past. A couple years back, I stayed at Bethany Beach and traveled 20 or so minutes to Ocean City. Beautiful place. Hope you had a good time.

Rehoboth was nice. It has a huge gay population because (from what someone said) there's a gay beach section on the south side of town. Never made it that far, but we saw a ton of them walking around town (we stayed in the center of town and challenged local 30 year olds to beach volleyball, winning every game). Nice to see that parts of America aren't in the fucking stone age.

We used fake names when meeting girls on the boardwalks both nights. My one buddy was Finch from American Pie and the rest of us stole names from out school's baseball coaches. After we gave out our numbers, we changed all our voicemails to the fake names for the rest of the weekend.
 
I have a 3000 word one due sometime and i have no idea what i'm going to write.

Great.

My Rainbow Warrior one is 2,000 words and I still don't even have a decent defined topic yet. This isn't good.
 
Are you under your parents' medical insurance, or are they footing the bill or something. Otherwise they don't necessarily need to be involved at all. You're an adult, perfectly capable of making and attending your own appointments.

I suggest you look into a behavioural health center in your city. The payment options can be quite reasonable, if you want to take care of it for yourself. I don't have insurance, and I only have to pay $20 per appointment, which is not bad at all.

I have to involve my mom for a couple reasons: I'm on her insurance, I don't have a job yet so I couldn't pay for appointments and I can't drive. :reject:
 
Rehoboth was nice. It has a huge gay population because (from what someone said) there's a gay beach section on the south side of town. Never made it that far, but we saw a ton of them walking around town (we stayed in the center of town and challenged local 30 year olds to beach volleyball, winning every game). Nice to see that parts of America aren't in the fucking stone age.

We used fake names when meeting girls on the boardwalks both nights. My one buddy was Finch from American Pie and the rest of us stole names from out school's baseball coaches. After we gave out our numbers, we changed all our voicemails to the fake names for the rest of the weekend.

Sounds fucking awesome. You made those two days count.

Surprised to hear that 30 year-old Ocean City-dwellers suck so badly at volleyball. They're not that old.
 
I have to involve my mom for a couple reasons: I'm on her insurance, I don't have a job yet so I couldn't pay for appointments and I can't drive. :reject:

Ah. That's different then.


Honestly, getting a job would really give you some social experience.
 
Sounds fucking awesome. You made those two days count.

Surprised to hear that 30 year-old Ocean City-dwellers suck so badly at volleyball. They're not that old.

We only played volleyball in Rehoboth. But they weren't bad, we're just fucking awesome.

I play server. I have a great serve. I don't do much else, though. I'm not tall enough to play front line and I may have broken my thumb on Saturday, so my sets weren't working too well either.
 
:stumbles in:

Hello. I just had to stop by a thread that is named after my hometown!
 
We only played volleyball in Rehoboth. But they weren't bad, we're just fucking awesome.

I play server. I have a great serve. I don't do much else, though. I'm not tall enough to play front line and I may have broken my thumb on Saturday, so my sets weren't working too well either.

I've played volleyball a couple of times. Serving was probably the easiest thing for me too...for similar reasons.

How the fuck did you break you thumb? :ohmy: That's no good.
 
And until you said something on this thread, I had never guessed any of this about you. You seemed like one of the more socially confident people here, to me! So clearly it's worked for you. I see no reason to believe it wouldn't work for Screwtape either.
I'm much more socially confident online. Online there's no pressure of speech. I can take my time to stop and think and work out what I'm going to say. In real life, in real time, I'm more likely to say something stupid and embarrass myself, or not be able to think up anything to say at all.
I find it very difficult to become comfortable with people, and I have to get to know people quite well before I'm able to hold a normal conversation with them without becoming flustered and nervous.
It takes experience to become fully aware of the true double nature of the word 'petrified', it can refer to wood that has turned to stone, or to fear. I've found that when I'm thrust into social situations with strangers, I tend to shut down, sitting quietly, not speaking, not making eye contact. As though I've turned to stone.
So there's social anxiety, which lends into depression when I begin hating myself for not being able to be interact 'normally', and there's also general self-loathing, when I over-worry about how people perceive me, and find it impossible to forgive myself for the smallest mistakes. I sometimes find myself inwardly scolding myself and hating myself for tiny embarrassments which happened years prior and that surely no one else remembers. The hard part is in learning how to let that stuff go.
 
So you're a Fresh Killer?

Excuse me while I back away slowly, avoiding eye contact ...
:lol:

You do realize that Fresh Kills means the landfill - said to be seen from space!
 
I've played volleyball a couple of times. Serving was probably the easiest thing for me too...for similar reasons.

How the fuck did you break you thumb? :ohmy: That's no good.

I dominate the overhand serve. Pwnage to the max, broski.

Not sure if it's broken. Playing volleyball, actually. Early on in the day. It didn't affect my serve since I serve with a fist, but it's swollen up pretty good. Made sets difficult.
 
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