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Old 05-27-2008, 09:41 AM   #871
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Have you read any of his books? I know so much of enjoying Clarkson being angry is his tone and accent and reactions to other people, but there's certainly a lot of anger in his writing. They don't look so bad.
Wait, wait. I know he has a newspaper column, but ... JEREMY CLARKSON WRITES BOOKS?!

I MUST READ ONE.

Honestly, I do think he's a bit of an idiot sometimes. But even when he's going off on some rant in some direction where I totally disagree with his bollocks, he's still far too fucking funny.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:41 AM   #872
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YES.

Can you imagine them hosting the nightly news? You'd never stop laughing.
One of my mates suggested they host the Biggest Loser, and that they'd just ride the fat people around. You know, Clarkson would be all "This rubbish idiot can't even get to naught to sixty in thirty seconds!"

I thought he was onto something.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:42 AM   #873
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YES.

Can you imagine them hosting the nightly news? You'd never stop laughing.
HOLY CRAP I laughed just at the idea of it.

"In other news, apparently some place got hit by a typhoon. But we don't care, cause they're not British!"

"At least if they'd been a colony, we could laugh at their misfortune."

"But seriously, chaps, there are plenty of folks dying down there of starvation, being drowned, eating one another, eating dead animals - you know, the usual - and so we here at BBC News strongly suggest that if you don't like what Burma's government is doing, you write to your newspaper and complain!"

"What good is that going to do, Jeremy?"

"Well, for a start, we can ship all those papers over to Burma so they've got something to read while they're waiting for help to be let through."
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:42 AM   #874
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I read a bit of one at the Melb Uni book sale the other day, it was absolutely hilarious. If the sale's still on, I'll have to bring you there, Ax.

I also just find the mere fact that Jeremy Clarkson writes books absolutely comical to begin with anyway.
Ah, cool.

And I see you beat me to the comment of "lulz Clarkson rites boox".
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Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 05-27-2008, 09:43 AM   #875
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Hey Daniel!

I see you've joined the New Avatar Club ...


I didn't notice until you guys pointed it out. Just back from Seeing Indiana Jones. (Work Movie Night...so I didn't have to pay!...score!)

Not Having seen the previous three, I would say it was good, except for how it ended....I dunno it was just a bit weird. Suppose I gotta expect that from George Lucas!
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:43 AM   #876
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Wait, wait. I know he has a newspaper column, but ... JEREMY CLARKSON WRITES BOOKS?!

I MUST READ ONE.

Honestly, I do think he's a bit of an idiot sometimes. But even when he's going off on some rant in some direction where I totally disagree with his bollocks, he's still far too fucking funny.
Personally, I hope he never starts believing in global warming. Or stops crashing into trees on purpose.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:43 AM   #877
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One of my mates suggested they host the Biggest Loser, and that they'd just ride the fat people around. You know, Clarkson would be all "This rubbish idiot can't even get to naught to sixty in thirty seconds!"

I thought he was onto something.
Hell, I wished I could host the Biggest Loser. Poor fat bastards wouldn't know what hit them... Literally in a lot of cases.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:44 AM   #878
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One of my mates suggested they host the Biggest Loser, and that they'd just ride the fat people around. You know, Clarkson would be all "This rubbish idiot can't even get to naught to sixty in thirty seconds!"

I thought he was onto something.


I might just watch The Biggest Loser in that case.

How about we get THEM to host Big Bother?

Clarkson: This is Big Brother. Today's task: solely working with the implements located in the kitchen, build cars with which to run over each other.
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 05-27-2008, 09:44 AM   #879
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I also lost two of my Tropical Fish today

Well one was last night actually. I went to feed them this morning and one of my little platties had jumped out somehow over night.

Tonight when I went to feed them, I noticed another Platy was out, and a clown loach. the loach was dead, but the Platy was still alive....So I've lost 2 fish in 24 hours!
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:45 AM   #880
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I didn't notice until you guys pointed it out. Just back from Seeing Indiana Jones. (Work Movie Night...so I didn't have to pay!...score!)

Not Having seen the previous three, I would say it was good, except for how it ended....I dunno it was just a bit weird. Suppose I gotta expect that from George Lucas!
It doesn't compare to the previous three in terms of having a coherent and marginally believable plot at all. That being said, the action and so on was pure Indy - just the plot sucked so hard, the only thing that comes close is the local black hole.

And yes, I am a ridiculous Indy fan.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:46 AM   #881
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One of the best things about Top Gear is that I actually haven't really learned anything about cars from it.
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:46 AM   #882
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I also lost two of my Tropical Fish today

Well one was last night actually. I went to feed them this morning and one of my little platties had jumped out somehow over night.

Tonight when I went to feed them, I noticed another Platy was out, and a clown loach. the loach was dead, but the Platy was still alive....So I've lost 2 fish in 24 hours!


Fish are cool. Sorry to hear of your loss!
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:46 AM   #883
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HOLY CRAP I laughed just at the idea of it.

"In other news, apparently some place got hit by a typhoon. But we don't care, cause they're not British!"

"At least if they'd been a colony, we could laugh at their misfortune."

"But seriously, chaps, there are plenty of folks dying down there of starvation, being drowned, eating one another, eating dead animals - you know, the usual - and so we here at BBC News strongly suggest that if you don't like what Burma's government is doing, you write to your newspaper and complain!"

"What good is that going to do, Jeremy?"

"Well, for a start, we can ship all those papers over to Burma so they've got something to read while they're waiting for help to be let through."


"And in other news, that blundering fool in charge of the US made another gaffe. No news there. God, those Americans make a bloody industry out of butchering English. Nee-son. Moz-da. Jag-WAAARRR. And all of their cars are far too big. I suppose because they're all far too big."
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 05-27-2008, 09:48 AM   #884
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I might just watch The Biggest Loser in that case.

How about we get THEM to host Big Bother?

Clarkson: This is Big Brother. Today's task: solely working with the implements located in the kitchen, build cars with which to run over each other.
Clarkson: "Now tonight on Big Brother, we have a new challenge for our contestants."

Hammond: "Yes that's right, we want to see exactly how long it takes for them to get to a car, dismantle it and use parts of it to murder one another."

Clarkson: "Well we thought this would take no time at all, and be very entertaining for all, I mean, how hard can it be?"
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Old 05-27-2008, 09:48 AM   #885
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I also lost two of my Tropical Fish today

Well one was last night actually. I went to feed them this morning and one of my little platties had jumped out somehow over night.

Tonight when I went to feed them, I noticed another Platy was out, and a clown loach. the loach was dead, but the Platy was still alive....So I've lost 2 fish in 24 hours!
Aww, that's a shame. At least you know what happened, though! Remember how I told you about one of my zebrafish disappearing? I'd still like to know at least what happened to the poor little thing!
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"Mediocrity is never so dangerous as when it is dressed up as sincerity." - Søren Kierkegaard

Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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