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Old 05-26-2008, 10:10 PM   #181
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I dominate the overhand serve. Pwnage to the max, broski.

Not sure if it's broken. Playing volleyball, actually. Early on in the day. It didn't affect my serve since I serve with a fist, but it's swollen up pretty good. Made sets difficult.
I had a pretty sweet underhand serve back in the day. Now I'm probably tall enough to play the net, but not last time.

You think the ball might have been overinflated? Hit it the wrong way and, yeah...I could see how you could at least sprain a finger.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:10 PM   #182
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And now i'd better be off to hand this in.


Back in a few hours.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:13 PM   #183
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I do that too. Every little mistake haunts me. So you can imagine what the big ones do.
My therapist is trying to get me to learn to let go. Because everyone makes mistakes, and you can't change the past. You have to learn to let go of the bad shit in the past and try to make the future better. I'm getting there
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:13 PM   #184
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I'm going to tell my mom and try to get a new therapist. I don't know where to even start. Is it wrong of me to test out therapists and maybe drop them after one or two sessions?
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:13 PM   #185
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You do realize that Fresh Kills means the landfill - said to be seen from space!
Yeah, I'd heard of it, both the landfill and the watercourse it's named after in an explanation why it's Fresh Kills. Personally, I'd lie to visitors and tell them that the landfill's called Fresh Kills because that's where you throw the remains of overly nosy tourists after you've eaten them!
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:15 PM   #186
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I'm much more socially confident online. Online there's no pressure of speech. I can take my time to stop and think and work out what I'm going to say. In real life, in real time, I'm more likely to say something stupid and embarrass myself, or not be able to think up anything to say at all.
I find it very difficult to become comfortable with people, and I have to get to know people quite well before I'm able to hold a normal conversation with them without becoming flustered and nervous.
It takes experience to become fully aware of the true double nature of the word 'petrified', it can refer to wood that has turned to stone, or to fear. I've found that when I'm thrust into social situations with strangers, I tend to shut down, sitting quietly, not speaking, not making eye contact. As though I've turned to stone.
So there's social anxiety, which lends into depression when I begin hating myself for not being able to be interact 'normally', and there's also general self-loathing, when I over-worry about how people perceive me, and find it impossible to forgive myself for the smallest mistakes. I sometimes find myself inwardly scolding myself and hating myself for tiny embarrassments which happened years prior and that surely no one else remembers. The hard part is in learning how to let that stuff go.
Social anxiety sucks, and I used to go through it really badly. I was just silent most of the time, making a comment here or there at best. But one day ("day" is figurative...probably took me a few months, really), I decided that people's opinion of me really wasn't important enough to be bothered with on that level, so I forced myself to open up. You don't gain much if you don't risk anything, I figure. I'm still pretty quiet around people I don't know, but that's intelligent anyway, because you get to know others better by listening.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:16 PM   #187
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Shame I wasn't around today. It looks like I was needed.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:16 PM   #188
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Originally posted by DreamOutLoud13
So there's social anxiety, which lends into depression when I begin hating myself for not being able to be interact 'normally', and there's also general self-loathing, when I over-worry about how people perceive me, and find it impossible to forgive myself for the smallest mistakes. I sometimes find myself inwardly scolding myself and hating myself for tiny embarrassments which happened years prior and that surely no one else remembers. The hard part is in learning how to let that stuff go.
Sorry for sticking my nose in, but this post reminds me of how I used to be. I do believe that as time goes on, you learn to let things go because you grow out of things. I used to have panic attacks over the slightest social mistake I made. But that was six years ago when I was in college. Now I am almost 26. I still have fears of what others think of me because some people are very cruel when they see someone be so vulnerable. But based on what I've experienced, as you learn not to care about what others think, you start to feel better about yourself.

Hope I've helped!
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:17 PM   #189
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I had a pretty sweet underhand serve back in the day. Now I'm probably tall enough to play the net, but not last time.

You think the ball might have been overinflated? Hit it the wrong way and, yeah...I could see how you could at least sprain a finger.
Oh, I hit my thumb on the net pole diving for a ball. Not actually hitting it.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:19 PM   #190
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Yeah, I'd heard of it, both the landfill and the watercourse it's named after in an explanation why it's Fresh Kills. Personally, I'd lie to visitors and tell them that the landfill's called Fresh Kills because that's where you throw the remains of overly nosy tourists after you've eaten them!


Only the tourists don't go as far as the Staten Island ferry! They travel on it, take a look at the sights on NY Harbor, get off and catch the one going back to the city.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:19 PM   #191
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I'm going to tell my mom and try to get a new therapist. I don't know where to even start. Is it wrong of me to test out therapists and maybe drop them after one or two sessions?
No. But remember to be honest. A therapist can't do anything for you if you're not truthful.

Also, remember what I said a couple of nights ago. If you go through a behavioural health center where there are several therapists practicing together in the same building, you'll be able to ask about the different therapists there, and get advice on which one might be best for you. That's what I did.

And if later you decide to switch, you can just switch to a different one in the same place, and they'll just pass your chart and info along to the new one.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:20 PM   #192
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Oh, I hit my thumb on the net pole diving for a ball. Not actually hitting it.
OK, nevermind then. Overthought my theory.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:22 PM   #193
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Originally Posted by DreamOutLoud13 View Post
No. But remember to be honest. A therapist can't do anything for you if you're not truthful.

Also, remember what I said a couple of nights ago. If you go through a behavioural health center where there are several therapists practicing together in the same building, you'll be able to ask about the different therapists there, and get advice on which one might be best for you. That's what I did.

And if later you decide to switch, you can just switch to a different one in the same place, and they'll just pass your chart and info along to the new one.
I want to figure the therapist out before I say anything important. I might ask them a lot of questions. I'll try other therapists in the building I go to.
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Old 05-26-2008, 10:23 PM   #194
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Originally Posted by DreamOutLoud13 View Post
I'm much more socially confident online. Online there's no pressure of speech. I can take my time to stop and think and work out what I'm going to say. In real life, in real time, I'm more likely to say something stupid and embarrass myself, or not be able to think up anything to say at all.
Yeah, I know what you mean there. People tend to talk just about the negatives of online social interaction, but it has a world of positives as well. My problem is simply getting into social situations in the first place, which is damn easy to do online and much less so offline. I mean, here, it's pretty fucking obvious we're all interested in U2 in some way, so it's much easier to get involved than with a bunch of people offline that I can't discern anything about.

Quote:
It takes experience to become fully aware of the true double nature of the word 'petrified', it can refer to wood that has turned to stone, or to fear. I've found that when I'm thrust into social situations with strangers, I tend to shut down, sitting quietly, not speaking, not making eye contact. As though I've turned to stone.
So there's social anxiety, which lends into depression when I begin hating myself for not being able to be interact 'normally', and there's also general self-loathing, when I over-worry about how people perceive me, and find it impossible to forgive myself for the smallest mistakes. I sometimes find myself inwardly scolding myself and hating myself for tiny embarrassments which happened years prior and that surely no one else remembers. The hard part is in learning how to let that stuff go.
Most people seem to not even guess that I'm shy (so shy that I haven't even gone to see a professional to see if I actually have any social issue, or am just simply shy) because when I'm in a social situation, I do talk a lot and seem comfortable. I tend to be pretty good at conversation. But it's getting to a conversation that's hard, and it's ever speaking to the person afterwards that's even harder. Like in tutorials at university, I tend to be one of the most talkative and involved - because I'm meant to be and it's an appropriate forum. Twelve weeks down the track, semester's over and I don't even know the names of anybody else in my tutorial because I wouldn't even know how to stay and talk afterwards.

And the whole remembering the smallest mistakes thing isn't fun. I'm cursed with a good memory in the first place, so just about everything stays with me, the good and the bad, and it's far too bloody easy to dwell on the bad.
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Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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Old 05-26-2008, 10:26 PM   #195
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Only the tourists don't go as far as the Staten Island ferry! They travel on it, take a look at the sights on NY Harbor, get off and catch the one going back to the city.
Lame! I know if I visited, I'd stay to ride the railway you guys have got there.
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Ian McCulloch the U2 fan:
"Who buys U2 records anyway? It's just music for plumbers and bricklayers. Bono, what a slob. You'd think with all that climbing about he does, he'd look real fit and that. But he's real fat, y'know. Reminds me of a soddin' mountain goat."
"And as for Bono, he needs a colostomy bag for his mouth."

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