DaveC
Blue Crack Addict
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To-Night At The Masonic Temple.
paxetdave
Shall Contend With
A_Democrat
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UNTIL INDIVIDUAL OR MUTUAL UNCONSCIOUSNESS,
BRUTAL DEATH, FISTIC AMPUTATION OF
NO FEWER THAN THREE LIMBS,
OR TEARING-ASUNDER OF ONE OR BOTH PARTIES
HAS BEEN SATISFACTORILY AND VISIBLY ACHIEVED.
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A Gentlemanly Sporting Display of Uncommon Magnitude,
Upon Which Wagers May Be Placed.
A_Democrat, Weighing In At An Unknown Weight, a Tried and Tested Giant of
American/Australian Descent, lends its unique Eye, and Spirit of Calculation, to
Hand-to-Hand Combat, and renders the Bludgeoning and Pulverisation
of its opponent a Science; Most recently victorious in its match against
Kid Ithaca, who was rendered Helpless against A_Democrat's devastating
Ice-Hard Fists, and vomited forth his Heart, Stomick, and Vitals
in a great Spume of steaming Offal.
paxetdave, also an Unknown Weight, a doughty Hibernian late of the
Canadian/American Lands, is a very Hogs-Head of Defiance, a stout Contender who
shrugs off Hammer-Blows as if they were Kisses, and drinks in
Punishment as if it were Whiskey; Has been seen to Cudgel its Man with
such Pile-Driving Force, that Bones fly to Flinders with a resounding
Crack. Lately triumphant against Homer Hoose the Slashing Swede,
who's Skull it Splintered with a Heroic Right Cross. Showering the
Delighted Onlookers with Crimson Gobbets torn from the Swede's
Brain-Pan, and winning the Lakeland Crown.
Both A_Democrat and paxetdave are fleet of Foot, bright of Eye, and possess
Fists of the heaviest Lead, yet both are as noble Gentlemen, schooled in
the Craft of Sports-Manship. By these lights, the Promoter shall forbid
the use of Axes, Sledges, Gun-Powder, Punt-Hammers, Horse-Whips,
Plough-Shares, and Fence-Posts by members of the Audience. The
Pugilists may not use any Drug or Physick, excepting Alcohol,
Morphine, Heroin, Laudanum, Horse Laxative, and Coca Leaf; The
humane use of leathern Pugilistic Gloves, as specified by the Interference
Sporting Commission, in order to artificially soften the Brutality of any
Blow, is expressly Forbidden.
No Girls or Boys under Eight Years of Age Permitted.
Bring it!
