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Old 05-25-2006, 11:35 PM   #1
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First Annual Blue Crack Joke Contest!

Ok, here's the deal, do you have a good joke?
Post it here and you will be in the running for a special prize.

Judging will be made by crack Addicts only.


The prize?

30 iTunes song downloads!

Good luck

(Special thanks to Elvis for allowing me to do this.)
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Old 05-26-2006, 01:23 AM   #2
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We should have a contest to see who can do the best "Aristocrats" joke.
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Old 05-26-2006, 01:25 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by inmyplace13
We should have a contest to see who can do the best "Aristocrats" joke.
Wrong thread, OMG, wrong forum!!
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Old 05-26-2006, 01:35 AM   #4
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This is only a joke.

Bono and Edge are travelling in an airplane. The plane crashes during a severe storm and all lives are lost. Bono & Edge find themselves in Heaven and before them sitting on a grand throne is God. God tells them if they answer His question truthfully, they will enter the Kingdom of Heaven to experience everlasting happiness.

God turns to Edge and asks "What do you believe, Edge?"

Edge replies " I believe in the power of rock n roll and Gibson guitars!! "

God smiles, and says, " Excellent, you may enter. "

After Edge leaves, God turns to Bono. He asks Bono "What do you believe? "

With a wry smile and glint in his eye, Bono replies " I believe you are sitting in my chair! "
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Old 05-26-2006, 01:42 AM   #5
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What a fun idea!

Don't have any jokes myself.

So I'll just lurk and at the ones that get posted by others.

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Old 05-26-2006, 02:07 AM   #6
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Are politically incorrect jokes allowed?
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Old 05-26-2006, 02:21 AM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by inmyplace13
We should have a contest to see who can do the best "Aristocrats" joke.
I second this motion. Pornographic and violent subject matter allowed.
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Old 05-26-2006, 07:53 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally posted by trevster2k
This is only a joke.

Bono and Edge are travelling in an airplane. The plane crashes during a severe storm and all lives are lost. Bono & Edge find themselves in Heaven and before them sitting on a grand throne is God. God tells them if they answer His question truthfully, they will enter the Kingdom of Heaven to experience everlasting happiness.

God turns to Edge and asks "What do you believe, Edge?"

Edge replies " I believe in the power of rock n roll and Gibson guitars!! "

God smiles, and says, " Excellent, you may enter. "

After Edge leaves, God turns to Bono. He asks Bono "What do you believe? "

With a wry smile and glint in his eye, Bono replies " I believe you are sitting in my chair! "


I remember reading this joke somewhere on another site before...

I think they also had a U2-joke with God and Paul McCartney (who has died and gone to heaven), and one about Bono and God in a boat... but I can't remember what site it was! Anyone know what I'm talking about?
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Old 05-26-2006, 08:29 AM   #9
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Re: First Annual Blue Crack Joke Contest!

Quote:
Originally posted by RedrocksU2
The prize?

30 iTunes song downloads!
Seriously?
or is the one Carlos' strange twisted humour?

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Old 05-26-2006, 08:29 AM   #10
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that joke was good Trevster! This contest really is a great idea RR! Thanks for setting this up

Will have to think of what joke Im going to submit
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Old 05-26-2006, 08:29 AM   #11
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I have two horribly, terrible jokes that are so bad that they are good.


What did the three legged dog say when he walked into the saloon?

Alright who shot my Paw!!!!


State Trooper pulls over an old lady for speeding......

TROOPER: Maam, do you know why I pulled you over?
Old Lady: No officer I don't
Trooper:You were travelling 85 MPH in a 60 MPH zone, you were speeding. Can I see your Liscence and Registration?
Old Lady: My Liscence - no you can't see it because I lost it three years ago for my multiple DUI charges - I had 6 of them.
Trooper: Well, can I at least see your registration?
Old Lady: No, I don't own this car, it belongs to my next door nieghbor. I stole it this morning from him.
Trooper: Ma'am, your telling me you are driving this car without a liscense or registration without your nieghbor's consent?
Old Lady: Well you could have asked the nieghbor if I asked him but he's hacked up in the trunk..... He wasn't so willing to just turn over the car to me.
Trooper: Ma'am can you wait right here I need to radio this in.(The trooper backs slowly away from the old lady in the car and immediately calls for back-up).

Within minutes five State Police cars pull up and surround the the stolen car. A senior State Trooper walks up to the side of the car with gun drawn and says.....

Senior Officer: Ma'am, are you driving this car without a Liscence?
Old LAdy: No Officer I have my Liscense right here (she hands him her Liscence).
Senior Officer: Am I to believe you are not the owner of this vehicle?
Old Lady: No I own this vehicle, here's the registration if you'd like to look at it. ( She hands him the registration, which is new and valid).
Senior Officer: Would you mind opening up your trunk so I can look into it? You aren't hiding anything in there are you?
Old Lady: No it's empty but you can look. (She pops open the trunk and the officer looks down into it and sure enough nothing is in there).

The Senior Officer scrathes his head and walks back to the driver side window with the original Trooper who pulled her over.....

Senior Officer: Did you tell this Officer that you were driving without a liscence, in a stolen car without insurance or registration who you had stolen from your next day nieghbor who you hacked up and placed in the trunk?
Old Lady: (Looks up at the troopers with a confused look and says) Why no officer but I bet this Trooper said I was Speeding....The Liar











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Old 05-26-2006, 08:33 AM   #12
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YB those jokes are so bad that they are funny
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Old 05-26-2006, 10:23 AM   #13
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my jokes are not for the faint of heart. I shall not post them.
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Old 05-26-2006, 10:25 AM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by BonosBaby12
YB those jokes are so bad that they are funny
Okay I'll add just one more - I hope I don't offend anyone's sensibilities with this one though


An usher in a Porno Movie Theater chuckled as he watched the elderly couple walk by and into thier seats. As the first feature film finished he noticed they were not getting up to leave and they were staying for the next movie. After that film was done they still were not getting up to leave the theater so the Usher walked down to them and said...........

Usher: Are you folks okay? We're getting ready to close the theater.
Old Lady: This was the most disgusting and indecent thing I've ever sat through.
Old Man: In fact it was not only disgusting and indecent, I'll add revolting to it also.
Usher: Then why did you stay so long?
Old Lady: we had to wait until the theater's lights came back on because I lost my panties and he lost his teeth...............

Ha-cha-cha-cha

I'll be here all week
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Old 05-26-2006, 10:27 AM   #15
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yeah, my jokes are of the corny genre ;] ;]

what's brown and sticky?




a stick! =)
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