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Old 05-31-2006, 09:01 PM   #121
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Why are there no good restaraunts on the moon?







No atmosphere.
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Old 06-01-2006, 02:42 AM   #122
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Quote:
Originally posted by RedrocksU2


Good ones!


OK, I need a winner!

Please post one choice as the winner of the 30 iTune downloads!

I already posted my top 3 picks, scroll back and take #1. That's my vote. OR........if you really need to offload that iTunes certificate you can send it to me!
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Old 06-01-2006, 03:33 AM   #123
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no offense to anyone, since some posted more jokes than others, and all were (well most )

I can't decide! It's between fah, trevster2k, and Tania for me
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Old 06-01-2006, 03:38 PM   #124
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^I know what you mean Lila. It was difficult for me to choose because most were LMAO funny. I sent them on to some friends and awaited their reactions and went with a general consensus kind of vote. This has been fun though
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Old 06-01-2006, 03:43 PM   #125
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BUSH AT THE PEARLY GATES

Einstein dies and goes to heaven. At the Pearly Gates, Saint Peter tells him, "You look like Einstein, but you have NO idea the lengths that some people will go to sneak into Heaven. Can you prove who you really are?"
Einstein ponders for a few seconds and asks, "Could I have a blackboard and some chalk?"
Saint Peter snaps his fingers and a blackboard and chalk instantly appear. Einstein proceeds to describe with arcane mathematics and symbols his theory of relativity. Saint Peter is suitably impressed. "You really ARE Einstein!" he says. "Welcome to heaven!"
The next to arrive is Picasso. Once again, Saint Peter asks for credentials. Picasso asks, "Mind if I use that blackboard and chalk?"
Saint Peter says, "Go ahead." Picasso erases Einstein's equations and sketches a truly stunning mural with just a few strokes of chalk. Saint Peter claps. "Surely you are the great artist you claim to be!" he says. "Come on in!"
Then Saint Peter looks up and sees George W. Bush. Saint Peter scratches his head and says, "Einstein and Picasso both managed to prove their identity. How can you prove yours?"
George W. looks bewildered and says, "Who are Einstein and Picasso?"
Saint Peter sighs and says, "Come on in, George."


CLINTON, GORE, AND BUSH FACE FIRING SQUAD

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.
Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking, "I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"
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Old 06-01-2006, 04:03 PM   #126
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Once upon a time, a guy asked a girl "Will you marry me?"



The girl said, "NO!"

And the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing, camping, drank martinis, always had a clean house , never had to cook, had sex with whomever she pleased....did whatever the hell she wanted, never argued, didn't get fat, traveled more, had many boyfriends, saved more money, had all the hot water to herself, never had pubic hairs under the toilet seat lid, watched girlie movies, never had football on, never wore fricken lacey lingerie that went up your ass, had high self esteem, never cried or yelled, felt and looked good in sweat pants and shirt, and burped, swore, & farted all the time.





THE END
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Old 06-01-2006, 05:38 PM   #127
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I like that one fah
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Old 06-01-2006, 05:46 PM   #128
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liked them both fah & MrsSpringsteen
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Old 06-01-2006, 05:58 PM   #129
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Fah, I got that one in an email this week!
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Old 06-01-2006, 11:44 PM   #130
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Drum roll please...........................!
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Old 06-01-2006, 11:52 PM   #131
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The winner of the First Annual Blue Crack Joke Contest! is..................

























FAH!





Congratulations!

Your 30 iTunes certificate will be in you PM box shortly!




Thanks to all that participated!

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Old 06-02-2006, 01:00 AM   #132
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way to go, fah!
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Old 06-02-2006, 01:55 AM   #133
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Old 06-02-2006, 02:12 AM   #134
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Congrats fah! Enjoy!
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Old 06-02-2006, 09:32 AM   #135
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two jokes for you...

my Aunt told me this...

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office wrapped in nothing but cellophane wrap.

Psychiatrist says: "I can clearly see your/you're nuts!"



_____
another joke i found for a chicano class a year ago...

Albert O. Martinez - Chicano Power

Three men, one German, one Japanese and a Chicano were sitting naked in a sauna.

Suddenly there was a beeping sound. The German pressed his forearm and the beep stopped.

The others looked at him questioningly. "That was my pager" he said, "I have a micro chip under the skin of my arm."

A few minutes later a phone rang. The Japanese fellow lifted his palm to his ear. When he finished he explained, "That was my mobile phone. I have a micro chip in my hand."

The Chicano felt decidedly low tech, but not to be outdone he decided he had to do something just as "impressive".

So he stepped out of the sauna and went to the bathroom. He returned with a piece of toilet paper hanging from his butt. The others raised their eyebrows and stared at him oddly.

The Chicano finally said..........," Valgame Dios, will you look at that? I'm getting a fax."

Chicano Power
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