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Old 06-21-2005, 09:21 PM   #91
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Quote:
Originally posted by Aardvark747


It's good but not as classic as Lisa's Union Strike Song....


come gather 'round children
its high time ye learned
about a hero named homer
and a devil named burns
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Old 07-02-2005, 01:34 PM   #92
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"Look at that flubber fly!"

"wha you little!"
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Old 07-02-2005, 06:07 PM   #93
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Quote:
Originally posted by D'oh!


come gather 'round children
its high time ye learned
about a hero named homer
and a devil named burns
Lenny - Now play Classical Gas!

I Love this thread.

Marge - Homey, I'm just going to the shop to get some food.
Homer - Steak?
Marge - Money's to tight for steak.
Homer - Steak?
Marge - Yeah, sure, steak.
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Old 07-02-2005, 09:50 PM   #94
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You are about to learn that the two most dangerous words in the english language are Marge Simpson.
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Old 07-02-2005, 09:56 PM   #95
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Hi! Im Troy McClure, you may remember me from such celebrity funerals as Andre The Giant, We Hardly Knew Ye and Shemp Howard, Today We Mourn A Stooge
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Old 07-02-2005, 10:43 PM   #96
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Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
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Old 07-03-2005, 10:40 AM   #97
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All right, lets not panic. Ill make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.

Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything thats even remotely true!

Kids, kids. As far as Daddys concerned, youre both potential murderers.

Hey, I asked for ketchup! Im eatin salad here!

Just because I dont care doesnt mean I dont understand!
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Old 07-03-2005, 10:54 AM   #98
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They have the Internet on computers, now?

Well, crying isnt gonna bring him back … unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.

Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.

No, no, no, Lisa. If adults dont like their jobs, they dont go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Thats the American Way.
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Old 07-03-2005, 12:24 PM   #99
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and of course:

FEMAILMAN!
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Old 07-03-2005, 05:31 PM   #100
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Prostitutes (to Bart) - Are you looking for a good time sailor?
Bart - Why yes I am!
Marge - No you're not! (Closes the door then opens it again)
Marge - He's really not.
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Old 07-04-2005, 04:22 PM   #101
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Bart- Why is it destroying other toys?
Lisa- It must be programed to destroy the competition
Bart-You mean like microsoft?
Lisa-Exactly!



Homer- thats one of the worst ideas for a tv show I've heard, and I know exactly who would take it... [dials phone]

Phone Answered- Hello, This is Fox




Homer [in loud voice]- Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermo-dynamics!
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Old 07-04-2005, 07:16 PM   #102
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Lot of Cape Fear quotes which isn't really a surprise but here's another one I love:

Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?
Others: *some people raise their hand*
Lawyer: Be honest...!
Others: *more people raise their hand*
Patty: *raises her hand too* - Ah... she's always leaving the toilet seat up...
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Old 07-04-2005, 07:28 PM   #103
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Sorry to do this twice but:

Answering machine tape at work:
Homer: Hello. You have reached the workplace of Homer Simpson. If you are calling about the waterbed, please leave a detailed message. If you need to...
Mr. Burns: Get back to work.
Homer: Ahhhh!

Moe: "What would you like me to do?"
Homer: "Make me as dumb as I was before."
[Moe jams the crayon up Homer's nose]
Homer: "De-fense! De-fense!"
Moe: "Humm. That's pretty dumb. But still..."
[Jams crayon further up Homer's nose]
Homer: "Extended warranty?! How can I loose?!"
Moe: "That's dumb enough."


Zookeeper: Boy, that Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. What television network is he on?
Bart: Why, NBC, of course.
Lisa: NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.
Wiggum: Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now?
Homer: Oh, I'm sure of it.
Marge: But there's only one way to find out.
[cut to the closing credits]
Homer [voice-over]: I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... [sound of gun cocking] ... my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So in summary, NBC -- bad. Fox -- good. [sotto voce] CBS great.
[sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The Gracie Studios logo appears, accompanied by three gunshots]


I'll leave you people alone now.
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Old 07-04-2005, 07:53 PM   #104
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Last ones I swear, it's late at night and I've got hooked.

[the lawyer asks Marge's opinion of Dr. Riviera's competence]
Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Homer: [whispering] Will that hold up in court?
Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it.

"Nothing like revenge for getting back at people!"
"I dunno, vengeance is pretty good too." -- Lenny and Carl.
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Old 07-04-2005, 10:01 PM   #105
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Quote:
Originally posted by tarquinsuperb

Zookeeper: Boy, that Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. What television network is he on?
Bart: Why, NBC, of course.
Lisa: NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.
Wiggum: Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now?
Homer: Oh, I'm sure of it.
Marge: But there's only one way to find out.
[cut to the closing credits]
Homer [voice-over]: I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... [sound of gun cocking] ... my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So in summary, NBC -- bad. Fox -- good. [sotto voce] CBS great.
[sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The Gracie Studios logo appears, accompanied by three gunshots]

that is one of my favorite
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