Favourite Simpsons quotes.
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Cassis
Refugee
"Look at that flubber fly!"
"wha you little!"
cobl04
45:33
D'oh! said:
come gather 'round children
its high time ye learned
about a hero named homer
and a devil named burns
Lenny - Now play Classical Gas!
I Love this thread.
Marge - Homey, I'm just going to the shop to get some food.
Homer - Steak?
Marge - Money's to tight for steak.
Homer - Steak?
Marge - Yeah, sure, steak.
learn2kneel
War Child
Homer: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Lisa: No.
Homer: Ham?
Lisa: No.
Homer: Pork chops?
Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal.
Homer: Heh heh heh. Ooh, yeah, right, Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.
Cassis
Refugee
All right, lets not panic. Ill make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one.
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything thats even remotely true!
Kids, kids. As far as Daddys concerned, youre both potential murderers.
Hey, I asked for ketchup! Im eatin salad here!
Just because I dont care doesnt mean I dont understand!
Facts are meaningless. You could use facts to prove anything thats even remotely true!
Kids, kids. As far as Daddys concerned, youre both potential murderers.
Hey, I asked for ketchup! Im eatin salad here!
Just because I dont care doesnt mean I dont understand!
Cassis
Refugee
They have the Internet on computers, now?
Well, crying isnt gonna bring him back … unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
No, no, no, Lisa. If adults dont like their jobs, they dont go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Thats the American Way.
Well, crying isnt gonna bring him back … unless your tears smell like dog food. So you can either sit there crying and eating can after can of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back or you can go out there and find your dog.
Oh, people can come up with statistics to prove anything, Kent. 14% of people know that.
No, no, no, Lisa. If adults dont like their jobs, they dont go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. Thats the American Way.
Cassis
Refugee
and of course:
FEMAILMAN!
FEMAILMAN!
cobl04
45:33
Prostitutes (to Bart) - Are you looking for a good time sailor?
Bart - Why yes I am!
Marge - No you're not! (Closes the door then opens it again)
Marge - He's really not.
Bart - Why yes I am!
Marge - No you're not! (Closes the door then opens it again)
Marge - He's really not.
the rockin edge
Blue Crack Addict
Bart- Why is it destroying other toys?
Lisa- It must be programed to destroy the competition
Bart-You mean like microsoft?
Lisa-Exactly!
Homer- thats one of the worst ideas for a tv show I've heard, and I know exactly who would take it... [dials phone]
Phone Answered- Hello, This is Fox
Homer [in loud voice]- Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermo-dynamics!
Lisa- It must be programed to destroy the competition
Bart-You mean like microsoft?
Lisa-Exactly!
Homer- thats one of the worst ideas for a tv show I've heard, and I know exactly who would take it... [dials phone]
Phone Answered- Hello, This is Fox
Homer [in loud voice]- Lisa, in this house we obey the laws of thermo-dynamics!
tarquinsuperb
War Child
Lot of Cape Fear quotes which isn't really a surprise but here's another one I love:
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?
Others: *some people raise their hand*
Lawyer: Be honest...!
Others: *more people raise their hand*
Patty: *raises her hand too* - Ah... she's always leaving the toilet seat up...
Selma: Sideshow Bob tried to kill me on our honeymoon.
Lawyer: How many people in this court are thinking of killing her right now?
Others: *some people raise their hand*
Lawyer: Be honest...!
Others: *more people raise their hand*
Patty: *raises her hand too* - Ah... she's always leaving the toilet seat up...
tarquinsuperb
War Child
Sorry to do this twice but:
Answering machine tape at work:
Homer: Hello. You have reached the workplace of Homer Simpson. If you are calling about the waterbed, please leave a detailed message. If you need to...
Mr. Burns: Get back to work.
Homer: Ahhhh!
Moe: "What would you like me to do?"
Homer: "Make me as dumb as I was before."
[Moe jams the crayon up Homer's nose]
Homer: "De-fense! De-fense!"
Moe: "Humm. That's pretty dumb. But still..."
[Jams crayon further up Homer's nose]
Homer: "Extended warranty?! How can I loose?!"
Moe: "That's dumb enough."
Zookeeper: Boy, that Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. What television network is he on?
Bart: Why, NBC, of course.
Lisa: NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.
Wiggum: Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now?
Homer: Oh, I'm sure of it.
Marge: But there's only one way to find out.
[cut to the closing credits]
Homer [voice-over]: I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... [sound of gun cocking] ... my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So in summary, NBC -- bad. Fox -- good. [sotto voce] CBS great.
[sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The Gracie Studios logo appears, accompanied by three gunshots]
I'll leave you people alone now.
Answering machine tape at work:
Homer: Hello. You have reached the workplace of Homer Simpson. If you are calling about the waterbed, please leave a detailed message. If you need to...
Mr. Burns: Get back to work.
Homer: Ahhhh!
Moe: "What would you like me to do?"
Homer: "Make me as dumb as I was before."
[Moe jams the crayon up Homer's nose]
Homer: "De-fense! De-fense!"
Moe: "Humm. That's pretty dumb. But still..."
[Jams crayon further up Homer's nose]
Homer: "Extended warranty?! How can I loose?!"
Moe: "That's dumb enough."
Zookeeper: Boy, that Stone Phillips sounds like quite a bloke. What television network is he on?
Bart: Why, NBC, of course.
Lisa: NBC has lots of great shows, and their news and sports coverage can't be beat.
Wiggum: Do you think there's anything great on NBC right now?
Homer: Oh, I'm sure of it.
Marge: But there's only one way to find out.
[cut to the closing credits]
Homer [voice-over]: I'd like to read the following statement, but I do so under ... [sound of gun cocking] ... my own free will. It has come to my attention that NBC sucks. I apologize for misleading you and urge you to watch as many Fox shows as possible. So in summary, NBC -- bad. Fox -- good. [sotto voce] CBS great.
[sound of gunshot, followed by a thud. The Gracie Studios logo appears, accompanied by three gunshots]
I'll leave you people alone now.
tarquinsuperb
War Child
Last ones I swear, it's late at night and I've got hooked.
[the lawyer asks Marge's opinion of Dr. Riviera's competence]
Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Homer: [whispering] Will that hold up in court?
Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it.
"Nothing like revenge for getting back at people!"
"I dunno, vengeance is pretty good too." -- Lenny and Carl.
[the lawyer asks Marge's opinion of Dr. Riviera's competence]
Marge: I'm sorry, but my mother said, if you can't say anything nice about someone, you shouldn't say anything at all.
Homer: [whispering] Will that hold up in court?
Lionel Hutz: No, I've tried it.
"Nothing like revenge for getting back at people!"
"I dunno, vengeance is pretty good too." -- Lenny and Carl.
the rockin edge
Blue Crack Addict
tarquinsuperb said:
that is one of my favorite
elevation2u
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
every single line in this show is quotable
and thats one of the reasons it's so great
and thats one of the reasons it's so great
cobl04
45:33
I think this one's already been posted, but anyway...
Homer - Hello, my name is Mr. Burns and I believe you have a letter for me.
Letter guy - Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer - ....I don't know.
Homer - Hello, my name is Mr. Burns and I believe you have a letter for me.
Letter guy - Okay, Mr. Burns, what's your first name?
Homer - ....I don't know.
tarquinsuperb
War Child
We do need more Lionel Hutz comments on here I think. This one I think is the best:
"I've argued in front of every judge in this state - often as a lawyer."
"I've argued in front of every judge in this state - often as a lawyer."
The_One1932
Acrobat
dsmith2904 said:
well... its a perfectly cromulent word
cobl04
45:33
tarquinsuperb said:
Amen
Skinner - "Do you know of anywhere I can get some fresh orange juice?"
Lionel - "I'll sell you this one! It's almost half full!"
Skinner - "Well why don't I just shoot myself (not sure on that line
)Lionel - "He'll be back."
I know there is more, but I'll have to think of some more.
Milhouse - "But my Mum says I'm cool."
Burns - "It seems my monkey has evolved into a man. (Homer smiles) A poor man."
Homer - "Ohh, why did he have to add that extra bit?"
beau2ifulday
Rock n' Roll Doggie VIP PASS
Homer - 'Bart, I don't wanna alarm you but we think there could be a bogeyman or bogeymen in the house'
later on..
Marge - 'What happened here?'
Homer - 'OH, NOTHING. Just a little Bogeyman related incident'
I find that entire scene, and everything in between so funny.
later on..
Marge - 'What happened here?'
Homer - 'OH, NOTHING. Just a little Bogeyman related incident'
I find that entire scene, and everything in between so funny.
tarquinsuperb
War Child
beau2ifulday said:
I love that one so much. Here's my one for tonight:
[After watching a Sex Education film]
Bart: How would I go about creating a half-man, half-monkey-type creature?
Krabappel: I'm sorry but that would be playing God.
Bart: God shmod! I want my monkey-man!
Lemonfix
Refugee
Lisa: If we don't get to the convention soon, all the good comics will be gone!
Bart: Ah, what do you care about good comics? All you every buy is Casper the Wimpy Ghost.
Lisa: I think it's sad that you equate friendliness with wimpiness, and I hope it'll keep you from ever achieving true popularity.
Bart: Well, you know what I think? I think Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich. [shows comics of Casper and Richie Rich]
Lisa: Hey, they do look alike!
Bart: Wonder how Richie died.
Lisa: Perhaps he realized how hollow the pursuit of money really is and took his own life.
Marge: Kids, could you lighten up a little?
Bart: Ah, what do you care about good comics? All you every buy is Casper the Wimpy Ghost.
Lisa: I think it's sad that you equate friendliness with wimpiness, and I hope it'll keep you from ever achieving true popularity.
Bart: Well, you know what I think? I think Casper is the ghost of Richie Rich. [shows comics of Casper and Richie Rich]
Lisa: Hey, they do look alike!
Bart: Wonder how Richie died.
Lisa: Perhaps he realized how hollow the pursuit of money really is and took his own life.
Marge: Kids, could you lighten up a little?
Lemonfix has an amazing avamatar.
I haven't watched any Homestars in so long. I used to be so up to date on my Strong Bad Emails.
Anyway, this is one of my favorite Troy McClure quotes...
"Selma, Jub-Jub is faaaaaaantastic. He's everywhere you wanna be!"
I haven't watched any Homestars in so long. I used to be so up to date on my Strong Bad Emails.
Anyway, this is one of my favorite Troy McClure quotes...
"Selma, Jub-Jub is faaaaaaantastic. He's everywhere you wanna be!"
daygloeyes2
Blue Crack Addict
Homer: Marge? Since I'm not talking to Lisa, would you please ask her to pass me the syrup?
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
Marge: Dear, please pass your father the syrup, Lisa.
Lisa: Bart, tell Dad I will only pass the syrup if it won't be used on any meat product.
Bart: You dunkin' your sausages in that syrup homeboy?
Homer: Marge, tell Bart I just want to drink a nice glass of syrup like I do every morning.
Marge: Tell him yourself, you're ignoring Lisa, not Bart.
Homer: Bart, thank your mother for pointing that out.
Marge: Homer, you're not not-talking to me and secondly I heard what you said.
Homer: Lisa, tell your mother to get off my case.
Bart: Uhhh, dad, Lisa's the one you're not talking to.
Homer: Bart, go to your room.
Grandpa: My Homer is not a communist. He may be a liar, a pig, an idiot, a communist, but he is not a porn star.
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