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Old 07-30-2007, 12:13 AM   #31
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alright I guess, ask Mr. Brown
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Old 07-30-2007, 12:14 AM   #32
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Why do I gotta be Mr. Pink?
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Old 07-30-2007, 12:23 AM   #33
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...because I can.
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Old 07-30-2007, 12:24 AM   #34
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I was going to be a stand-up comedian.
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Old 07-30-2007, 02:15 AM   #35
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I just stab people repeatedly with my sharp wit.





















And I also keep a shovel handy.
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Old 07-30-2007, 02:17 AM   #36
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I did this once, but since I know pretty much everybody in this town, and I don't exactly own anything worth stealing, it probably wasn't especially necessary.

Nonetheless, I think I should still buy one of these dealies sometime:



If the robber happens to collect historical swords, his mind will be too blown as I go for the kill.

Not that I'd actually kill them, I'd just stab them a little bit, enough for them to know they're not welcome.
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Old 07-30-2007, 02:20 AM   #37
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I should google "big-ass swords" and see what I get.
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Old 07-30-2007, 03:52 AM   #38
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You'll probably get a Zweihander.

[/historygeek]
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Old 07-30-2007, 09:27 AM   #39
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Gonna be completely honest here...

Being a martial artist, my room is filled with dangerous crap. One corner has two swords, a spear and a metal pole... next to my bed is a set of drawers with two nunchaku in them.

Normally I go for the nunchaku and walk around with a hell of a lot of trepidation.

And always, my family laugh at me when I do this.
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Old 07-30-2007, 11:07 AM   #40
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Quote:
Originally posted by GibsonGirl
I live in a tiny rural Canadian town, and thus have no need to check out curious noises. If I hear something, I assume it's a moose outside and go back to sleep.
But, it could be an evil moose. Or Toni-Marie Wiseman!

No knife, but a few weeks ago, I got the axe out (okay, a very worn and tiny hatchett I used in the winter to get ice off the steps). I woke up at about two in the morning after hearing a large thud. I thought it came from the front door. I jumped out of bed...my senses on high alert. I was preparing to be murdered.

Like GG, I'm from a quiet part of the province, a place where we often don't lock our doors at night. But I'm now living in the "big" city! Sometimes I even hear sirens! The truth is, a murder here is about as rare a great band coming to town--a unique and rare event. When one does happen, it's usually a product of a family spat...drunken cousins playing a card game gone wrong...that kind of thing.

Anyway, after walking outside, looking in the trees, and saying "Hello?" to no response, I ventured back in, and started scoping the place out a bit inside. Something drew me to the laundry room. Something awful...the source of the thud. I looked down on the floor and immediately saw the large pool of...laundry detergent.

The entire container had fallen from the top of the dryer
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Old 07-30-2007, 11:44 AM   #41
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I live in the city in a tiny apartment so when I hear a weird noise it's usually the neighbors, at which point I usually double-check to make sure the door is locked.

When I go to my cottage it's in the middle of nowhere, it's not the noises that bother me but rather the complete lack of noise that creeps me out.

One night I was trying to sleep and even the crickets stopped chirping, scared the b-jesus out of me
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Old 07-31-2007, 01:50 AM   #42
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I have my killer IKEA umbrella on stand by for such emergencies
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Old 07-31-2007, 02:03 AM   #43
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Quote:
Originally posted by Mr. BAW
Mine says Smith and Wesson and its not the salad oil......
You sir are fucking pimp
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Old 07-31-2007, 05:45 AM   #44
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never grabbed the knife..but i live on a super busy state highway and usually im up at night so if its odd im the one to go investigate..my town is a freaking loony bin so you get used to the shit after awhile..tho i live in the country..i have a pet skunk so if there is an odd noise at night its probably her pissing around or one of the other animals..but usually when someone beats on the door at night i grab a bat, pistol or whatever..ive got pepper spray on my desk but thats to take to cinci i guess..and its in my car but ive also got a switchblade knife on my desk too.. *yawns* seriously no one would wanna bring a threat to my house..we could supply an army with the shit in the one room!
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Old 07-31-2007, 05:48 AM   #45
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oh and dont make me get the cannon out hehehe
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