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Old 01-21-2002, 10:13 AM   #1
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Different Strokes for Different Folks

Why is it that people always think that there way of life is better then others. I am 24 years old, and my boyfriend and I are planning on moving in together within the next 3-4 months. We have been together for 5 years. We have talked about marriage and kids, and plan to do both one day. We will get married when we can afford it. Neither of us come from families that can afford to pay for an entire wedding, nor would I want them to.

I am tired of people telling me that I should get married. It is mostly girls my age who are from culture's that have expectations that either a) the parents pay for the whole thing, b) of that the guests give you enough money to foot the bill.

The reason that it bugs me is because the people that I hear this from don't understand how things work in the real world. A friend of mine got married last summer, and her parents paid for the whole thing. They both lived at home up until the wedding, and didn't contribute at all financially. There parents even bought them cars. They bought a house with a good down payment (which my bfriend and I could do too, if we didn't have car payments, and other financial obligations) and their parents furnished it for them as wedding/house warming gifts. She keeps telling me that getting married is easy, because everything fits together in the end.

But I am happy with my life. I like knowing that I earned everything that I own, and that when I get married, and buy a house, that I will have earned that too. I make a pretty good income, and I live at home, so I help my parents with the bills around the house. I don't pay too much, but I am contributing. I feel that as an adult, I should be.

What do you guys think???
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Old 01-21-2002, 11:21 AM   #2
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I think you are doing very well for yourself, you dont have to get married or own a house...you seem perfectly happy the way you are, thats great

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Old 01-21-2002, 11:44 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally posted by bono-vox:
I think you are doing very well for yourself, you dont have to get married or own a house...you seem perfectly happy the way you are, thats great
Thanks Bono-vox!! You were the first person to reply in both of my 'depresso' threads today!!
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Old 01-21-2002, 11:49 AM   #4
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Well im great what can i say hehe

your welcome deary
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Old 01-21-2002, 12:04 PM   #5
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Trust me when i say i this...do what is good for you & what makes you happy. Don't compare yourself, with others. Every relasionship is different. The 2 of you know what is best for you. Ignore all the other BS. I say this with experience. The best thing to do is open your mouth & say"I glad this is what you wanted & your happy. I am happy doing it my way." No need to explain to anyone else..your feelings on marriage, babies & what not. Your much TOO young..to be married anyway. Live your life, enjoy it..you only do it once.

I am serious...if you go around pleasing everyone else, you will lose yourself. Do what is good for you, if you make a mistake..so be it..you learn from it. That's what life is all about.

Good Luck sweetie, & "don't let the bastards get you down"

Starr
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Old 01-21-2002, 01:07 PM   #6
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Originally posted by Starr:



Good Luck sweetie, & "don't let the bastards get you down"

Funny how U2 makes sense in all situations!! Thanks for the words of support. I feel better. I was just getting really annoyed, and I hate it when my patience runs out with people!!

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Old 01-21-2002, 01:14 PM   #7
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Wow - 24 is young - I wouldn't be in any hurry to get married. You'll know when it's right for you.

Peace

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Old 01-21-2002, 01:41 PM   #8
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I'm 24 and have been living with my boyfriend for over 3 years.

My more "traditional" girlfriends (those who don't want jobs, responsibilities or the need to think for themselves - they want their hubbies to do all the thinking) are always telling us we should get married - as are my "traditional" family members - male and female.

It's aggravating because we don't *want* to get married any time soon - and thoughts of child-rearing will not come until we are at least 30. Luckily we are moving to another town away from all of these unnecessary complications so that we are free to live as we want.

Also - and this has been a long-standing observation for me -
Why is it to some people that "moving in" with your significant other is morally WRONG but having sex with them is RIGHT - or having sex with many is also okay? My boyfriend and I got so many sneers when we moved in together from couples that are very sexually active, but find the "living together" thing morally wrong. My boyfriend and I are celibate, and I don't see how we are morally WRONG. I thought the whole sex part was more of a moral question than living together. *sigh* Social mores can be so complicated and intrusive.

I say live and let live.
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Old 01-21-2002, 10:09 PM   #9
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You're doing just fine. Dont listen to them.
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Old 01-22-2002, 03:18 AM   #10
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Quote:
Originally posted by HelloAngel:
I say live and let live.
AMEN TO THAT!

And Kel, just ignore people and go on.
You're living your life. No one else has the right to tell ya what is the "right" thing to do with it!
(((kelly)))
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