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Old 01-02-2006, 08:01 PM   #1
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Differences between females and males

It is cute and not really true.

Differences Between Men & Women

NICKNAMES: If Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle go out for lunch, they will call each other Gloria, Suzanne, Debra and Michelle. But if Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack go out for a brewsky, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla, Peanut-Head and Useless.

EATING OUT: And when the check comes, Mike, Phil, Rob and Jack will each throw in $20 bills, even though it's only for $22.50. None of them will have anything smaller, and none will actually admit they want change back. When the girls get their check, out come the pocket calculators.

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

GROCERIES: A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes out to the store and buys these things. A man waits till the only items left in his fridge are half a lime and a soda. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time a man reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than the Clampett's car on Beverly Hillbillies. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

SHOES: When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit, then slip on Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When a woman gets to work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under the desk. A man will wear the same pair of shoes all day.

CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

DRESSING UP: A woman will dress up to: go shopping, water the plants, empty the garbage, answer the phone, read a book, get the mail. A man will dress up for: weddings, funerals.

LAUNDRY: Women do laundry every couple of days. A man will wear every article of clothing he owns, including his surgical pants that were hip about eight years ago, before he will do his laundry. When he is finally out of clothes, he will wear a dirty sweatshirt inside out, rent a U-Haul and take his mountain of clothes to the Laundromat. Men always expect to meet beautiful women at the Laundromat. This is a myth perpetuated by re-runs of old episodes of "Love, American Style."

OFFSPRING: Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and soccer games and romances and best friends and favorite foods and secret fears and hopes and dreams. A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

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Old 01-02-2006, 08:05 PM   #2
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hmmmm..... unfortunately I relate to the food shopping, laundry, and cat things.
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Old 01-02-2006, 08:12 PM   #3
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Re: Differences between females and males

Quote:
Originally posted by MissVelvetDress_75


Differences Between Men & Women
CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

so true
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Old 01-02-2006, 08:17 PM   #4
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Re: Differences between females and males

Quote:
Originally posted by MissVelvetDress_75

BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.
So true. I have waaay too much stuff in my bathroom.
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Old 01-02-2006, 08:45 PM   #5
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hay guyZ wut iz goin on in diz topiX1/1?!

http://kindergartengonads.ytmnd.com/

....uh, thats all i got.
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Old 01-02-2006, 08:56 PM   #6
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OK this was funny! Soooo many things I could say about the difference between males and females but I'll save it!
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Old 01-02-2006, 08:57 PM   #7
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Re: Differences between females and males

Quote:
Originally posted by MissVelvetDress_75


BATHROOMS: A man has six items in his bathroom-a toothbrush, shaving cream, razor, a bar of Dial soap, and a towel from the Holiday Inn. The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 437. A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

Is it just me, or are there only five items listed after it said 'six items'?
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Old 01-02-2006, 09:02 PM   #8
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nope you are correct.
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Old 01-02-2006, 09:02 PM   #9
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Re: Re: Differences between females and males

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Originally posted by namkcuR


Is it just me, or are there only five items listed after it said 'six items'?


it must have been written by a woman

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Old 01-02-2006, 09:05 PM   #10
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Funny a guy sent me it!
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Old 01-02-2006, 10:03 PM   #11
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Re: Differences between females and males

Quote:
Originally posted by MissVelvetDress_75


CATS: Women love cats. Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.
ahhh, it turns out that im really a man!
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Old 01-02-2006, 10:13 PM   #12
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Re: Re: Differences between females and males

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Originally posted by Evalicious
ahhh, it turns out that im really a man!
O RLY?
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Old 01-02-2006, 10:56 PM   #13
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Ha! I see you`ve been paying attention........ to what i have said........
.....in some other threads

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Old 01-02-2006, 11:34 PM   #14
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boys have penises and girls have a vagina
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Old 01-02-2006, 11:40 PM   #15
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http://img.tapuz.co.il/forums/20208414.htm


This is how those penises and vaginas affect males and females. I posted this a while back, figured it works here too.
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