Dear Grammy Awards: You suck.

[Diemen]

An Open Letter to the Grammies

Good stuff.

 

[IWasBored]

that was funny.

1. EASY ON THE DEAD-GUY LOVE. There's nothing you like more than an artist who's six feet under. Johnny Cash, Warren Zevon—the deader, the better. This year Ray Charles is up for seven awards. Guess what, Grammy: Ray doesn't care. He's dead. Same with Brian Wilson. Oh, wait: Someone here says Brian is alive. But still.

heeheehee

 

[beli]

lol. What is the difference between Song and Record of the year?

Wheres Atomic when we need her......

 

[fah]

 

[Tania]

If Sting farted in a ziplock bag....

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Gah! I clicked on that link and there was a picture of Celine Dion first thing. I just woke up, too. Cruel.

2. STOP THE "IF YOU PLAY IT, YOU WIN!" POLICY. It's practically a Grammy rule: If you play your song, two seconds later you'll win a Grammy. Come on. Even Paris Hilton doesn't return the favor that fast, guys.

 

[TheBrazilianFly]

 

[bayernfc]

I needed a laugh today!

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

[q]See, that's your problem, Grammy. You're about as edgy as a Saturn full of Creed fans. Judging Amy is cooler than you. It's even worse when you try to act cool—it's like watching our mom and dad try to dance to Chingy's "Holidae In."[/q]

 

[U2girl]

lol. What is the difference between Song and Record of the year?

Wheres Atomic when we need her......

I think Song of the year is a songwriter award, and Record of the year is a producer award.

 

[IWasBored]

I think Song of the year is a songwriter award, and Record of the year is a producer award.

and what the article didn't point out, is that in the case of most of the songs nominated, the person singing it - the face everyone associates with the song - had nothing to do with either of those processes. how lame is that?

 

[typhoon]

Record of the Year is for a specific recording of a song (so it goes to the artist who recorded it as well as the producer, engineer, mixer, whoever), whereas Song of the Year is for the song itself (so it goes to the songwriters).

So if, say, "She's A Mystery To Me" won it for both categories in 1989, Bono and Edge would've gotten it for Song of the Year, and Roy Orbison and whoever produced it would've gotten it for Record of the Year

 

[lmjhitman]

P.S. If Sting farted into a Ziploc, would it get Song of the Year or Record of the Year?

 

[Popmartijn]

1 & 2 Have already been quoted. I'm sure someone will quote #3. But I think #4 is a classic too.

4. GIVE DYLAN A GRAMMY EVERY YEAR. Worth it just to hear the insanely random magnetic-poetry-style speech. If we recall correctly, a couple of years ago he thanked Woody Guthrie, Allen Ginsberg, his handheld vacuum cleaner, and the letter Q. Priceless.

Now, if only the writer could remember Edge's 'female orgasmatron' comment and U2 would also be safe for years to come.

 

[Estel_Black]

Wow that was hilarious, thanks Diemen!

 

[yimou]

The grammy awards suck.. U2 and Brian Wilson need to win !!!!,,

 

[sharky]

Remember -- if you're watching the Grammys and there is a rap/J. Lo/Puffy song nominated with about 15 names when the announce the song, they are probably talking about Song of the Year. With all the sampling and collaboration, that's what happens now.