Dating Rant

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Peaseblossom

War Child
Joined
Oct 4, 2001
Messages
576
Location
Laker Country
(Let me preface this by saying that I may be reacting a little quickly. I generally give a person one week after final contact before they are considered a bastard.... but I digress.)

Since when did common decency fly out the window in the dating world? I am so sick of all the games, and lies and shit that we put ourselves through in the name of finding the "right person."

Don't tell someone they're fantastic if you don't really think so, because when you disappear, the harsher reality is that you didn't mean it, and you don't even care enough to explain why you're not going to call again. Is it truly that hard to just be honest with someone, "You're really nice, but I just don't feel a romantic connection..." THAT"S NOT HARD. It's called letting someone down easy.

How hard is it to NOT kiss someone if you don't mean it? Kisses are special, why would you waste that on someone you never wanted to see again. Why would you make an incredibly romantic gesture if you're never going to call someone again? Damnit! Don't say you're going to call if you're not going to because after being swept off ones feet, the other person will most likely sit by the phone and wait. And when you don't, they'll spend the next days listing what they did wrong, or what's so terribly unattractive about them that it made you want to go away.

I know it's okay to be single, and I'm happy on my own. But it's also okay to want to find the happy ending. I fell in love once, and it was great. I'd like for that to happen again. It's OKAY to want to be romanced. It's not a CRIME to want to be held. I know I'm not ready to get married yet, but boy would I like to stop dating.
 
Maybe the person really likes you and is nervous about phoning back maybe?
 
girls can do the same.

I went out with the girl for 4 months and at that point she told me the same crap. Then all of a sudden not a word from her in a few weeks.
 
Lara Mullen said:
Maybe the person really likes you and is nervous about phoning back maybe?

I wish, but after two broken dates ( one of them a really big deal) and no contact in a week, I'm guessing not. He broke the big date (my first vocal performance in a year) for an "emergency at work." I hope that's the case... and that he really just hasn't had time to call, but that's being unrealistic.

Here's a scenario/question for the guys...

Suppose you take someone on a first date (blind date): Conversation is great, and the first time you look up from the table, the entire restaurant is closed and you are the last people there and didn't even notice! So, you move on to a pub nearby and close that down... 5 1/2 hours of great conversation... Even talking about religion and politics and agreeing about almost everything...

Fast forward to second date, great dinner, great conversation, but an early morning, so not much else. You walk her to the front door and kiss her quickly. Five minutes later, you show up again to say that you didn't think that first kiss was good enough to "woo" her, and plant one to remember on her. :heart:

Is this the kind of situation where you'd just break the other dates that you had planned and never call again? It seemed wonderful to me... I feel like I lost my mind...

Oh, and by the way- I took a poll of friends with experience and I am NOT a bad kisser. :kiss:

I'll stop rambling now, but at least y'all have the whole situation to analize....
 
Peaseblossom said:


Is this the kind of situation where you'd just break the other dates that you had planned and never call again? It seemed wonderful to me... I feel like I lost my mind...


Not me. I am pretty honest though and I would let people know up front what my deal is. And I would not do something like that if I did not mean it.
 
AcrobatMan said:
Sula - Men dont suck..Some men suck..Ditto women..

Lara - You might be right

Blossom - Everyone is selfish. So no big deal..Dont be upset .relax and enjoy better things in your life..than date.

AcrobatMan

well said well said- ive never been on a proper date before- id love to be spoilt for an evening *sigh*

P/Blossom as the cliche goes there are plenty more fish in the sea and well hes just a jerk if he doesnt call you back- go out and look for another nice man to date :cool: :D
 
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dating is not my expertise....but to me this looks like he's either in a coma or really inconsiderate.....

find yourself a real man, who can tell the truth and face up to women...
 
well...at least he didn't dump you and call you fat with a visual aid to help things out. :mad:


this person you saw is a boy. you need a man. big difference that doesn't come in years.
 
oh honey... been there... had that done to me... and it does make you feel like you have lost your mind, but in all reality, they are ones that have lost their mind. You just can't treat people like that. Anyway, maybe he is genuinely busy. Maybe not. You also have to remember that men don't think the same way girls do. Where a girl will find the time to say 'hey, I am just super busy right now', a guy won't. Give it a bit more time, but have you considered calling him up and asking him straight out? I'd like to have the nerve to do that one day. It would certainly make the 'mourning' process easier. All this time we waste on the what if's and wondering what happened?
 
sulawesigirl4 said:
yeah, I know. but some days it sure feels like they all do.

You know DAMN well that sucking is not gender specific! Don't even start that - especially when the majority of the young women out there are atracted to JERKS. Look for a nice guy who is also nice looking, not just nice looking.
 
lol. geez, zoney. you know me...I'm such a player and I'm out there looking all the time. ;) Actually, I'm through with the whole thing for the next couple of years. Got better things to do. btw, which library you at today?
 
zonelistener said:


They are out there...I think.

*Puts hand up.

I would just like to find someone again that likes me for "how I think" In addition to how I look and other stuff.

That is, too me, the most important quality. Attraction of course is important, but if a guys mind is not up to par with the quality I demand... I don't care how hot he is. lol
Nice guys are hard to find.
 
I was going to type a big response to this but relationships are just so frustrating, I quit trying for a reason, screw happiness, I cant deal with all the bullshit.

Honestly, women, you arent perfect either, before you go on bitching about how guys are complete assholes, figure out what precisely it is that you want, and dont try to manipulate us, cuz some people dont take it very well and will reciprocate by treating you in a similarly shitty fashion. Now Im not accusing anyone here of being like that, Im just saying, youre not so perfect yourselves, so before you group every single guy into one generic category of 'assholes' just think that maybe we're not 100% of your problem and there might be personal issues you have to deal with. Nobody is perfect, you cant expect the stars of us because you WILL be dissapppointed. Not all guys are assholes, and you all know it, but its very difficult to be in a position as a guy wherein you see the same thing from everyone you know --> Girl meets guy, girl doesnt take time to understand guy, girl misinterprets guy, girl breaks up with 'asshole', girl comes back whining about how there are no good guys out there, as a good guy you are forced to listen and help, they say thanks for being a friend, they go off and find someone else, process repeats, and all the while you sit there and help --> now then, I scorn any and all of you women out there who say guys are assholes but have at least 1 really close guy friend. Dont be so blind. Honestly, how do you think he feels? Hes not just there because he likes listening to you bitch about every little fucking thing under the sun. Trust me.
 
OWCH! That was really harsh. And I think I speak for almost everyone that has posted... Never ever did I say I thought I was flawless in this situation- there isn't a thing about me that's flawless, and I know that. I probably think about it too much in fact. There are great guys out there, and I have a lot of guy friends whom I love. But because I have guy friends and girlfriends that probably don't want to hear about it again, I brought my little rant to an open forum that I've seen be very supportive and helpful. All I was trying to do with this thread was get a little feedback on a particular situation.
 
Pardon me for being overly bitter then, having heard the same story an ungodly number of times in the past couple of years... I wasnt directing that specifically at you, I have nothing agasint you whatsoever, it was more directed to the women in general. And sure, it was a little harsh, but Im in a bad mood today and I didnt really feel like going on a 3 hour rant about it... which I normally would have done in this situation, and I probably would have also provide some useful information as opposed to just out and out bitching... sorry..


<thread-jacking> 1000th post </thread-jacking>
 
diamond said:
Ms Pease..
Maybe u shuold of stayed w Diemen?:huh:

Db9
;)

Thanks for the suggestion, but D and I are much better off as friends. I need him to be my friend so I can survive the world of dating, etc.
 
I love my fish

Your post makes me really appreciate what I have.

((( peaseblossom )))
 
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