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Old 11-15-2000, 05:05 PM   #1
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cyber sex transcript(not for the kids)

This is a transcript of actual cyber sex. This usually is no big deal cause it is cyber sex(which is having sex by messages on the net to people that don't know) but this guy has to be the biggest idiot or the funniest guy alive. I have never seen something like this and I found out this appeared in Playboy before. So here it is!

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing an expensive red silk blouse, a black leather mini skirt and high heeled boots. I am tan and very buffed. I workout everyday. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 lb. I wear glasses and have on a pair of blue sweatpants I just bought at Walmart. I'm also wearing an old T-shirt, it's got some barbecue sauce stains on it and it smells kind of funny.

Sweetheart: I want you. Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK

Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my nightstand. I look up into your eyes and I'm smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and I begin to feel your huge swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now, I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and I'm sliding it softly off.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off of my warm body. I'm rubbing your bulge faster now, rubbing and pulling.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and tears a hole in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's, OK. It wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it! I'm wearing a lacy black bra, my soft breasts are rising and falling as I breathe harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp of your bra, I think it's stuck. Do you have scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly, I reach behind my back and undo the clasp. My bra slides off. The cool air caresses my breasts, my nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby, I just want to feel your tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm SO sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off of my breasts with the remains of my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking your sopping wet blouse from you and throwing it in the corner of the room.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweatpants down and rubbing your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman! Your hands are cold! Yeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out and nibbling on you. Ummm, wait a second...

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Is there anything I can do to help?

Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen. Choking wildly. Looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink!

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm aching for you lover.

Wellhung: Now I'm drying the cup. I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait it's dark, I'm lost. Where is the bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: OK, I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tugging off your pants. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies pressed against each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take your glasses off?

Wellhung: OK. But I can't see very well. I'm placing my glasses on the nightstand.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly to the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet and lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle... Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I just realised I peed in your hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bed now. Blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: Now I'm going to put my, you know, thing in your umm, woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, Baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. Ma'am, I'm having a little problem here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth. I can't wait another second. Slide it in! Screw me!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: WHAT?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm looking for my glasses to see what the problem is.

Sweetheart: NO! Never mind. I'm getting dressed, I'm putting on my underwear and my wet nasty blouse.

Wellhung: No wait. I can't find the night table. I'm reaching across the dresser, knocking off cans of hairspray, your picture frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: Now I've found my glasses. My God! One of your candles fell on the curtain! The curtain is on fire. I'm pointing at it with a shocked look on my face...

Sweetheart: Go to hell! I'm logging off, LOSER!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Nooooooo!

(note: Bubba already ok'ed this so no other mod interference)



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Old 11-15-2000, 05:14 PM   #2
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That was an actual transcript that really happened, none of that was made up. It is all true! just a note.


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Old 11-15-2000, 06:57 PM   #3
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That was great! I'm sitting here in a computer lab at school trying not to laugh too much. My friends and I used to mess with cybersex sluts when we had way too much time on our hands and too much alcohal in our system. It's amazing what a woman (or a male inamte, never can tell) will put up with before giving up on cybering.

Anyways, great post.
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Old 11-16-2000, 02:24 AM   #4
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Hey rougerum - that's so funny!

Where do you find all this stuff you've been posting lately?!! Keeps things interesting!
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Old 11-18-2000, 05:30 PM   #5
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I was amking sure my kids weren't trying to see what mom was laughing out loud about.

That's so funny....

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Old 11-25-2000, 03:52 PM   #6
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rouge....only you!


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Old 11-30-2000, 05:39 PM   #7
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That is the funniest thing I have ever read!! I NEVER laugh so hard that I cry, but I am tearing up here. Oh my goodness. That was great!!
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Old 12-03-2000, 09:55 AM   #8
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Ok.. that's really damn funny! really, really funny!
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Old 07-23-2001, 04:54 AM   #9
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i take it rouge, you were "sweetheart"
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Old 07-23-2001, 05:50 AM   #10
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Rouge, I find this strangely exciting. I'm sneaking up behind you and starting to unzip my dress...
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Old 07-23-2001, 06:02 AM   #11
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Hm, I just noticed Quick Vick's name and realized that this was a very old post. How did that get dragged up from the depths?
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Old 07-23-2001, 07:53 AM   #12
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good question, I thought skeek had brought it back up but i realise my reply today was the most recent.. odd odd indeed...

elvis must be playing his tricks again
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Old 07-23-2001, 11:39 AM   #13
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LMFAO!!! That is hilarious!!!


"What's with all the glitter? I thought you didn't like our mirrorball lemon and shit. Well it's too late to change your mind now." -- Bono, Indianapolis, May 10, 2001

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Old 07-23-2001, 08:24 PM   #14
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That was great!
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Old 07-23-2001, 10:31 PM   #15
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hahaha I've read this before--very funny

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Old 07-23-2001, 11:26 PM   #16
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Who says the internet isn't like real life? Just kidding!
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Old 07-23-2001, 11:39 PM   #17
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LMAO that was a good laugh!!

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Old 07-24-2001, 02:42 AM   #18
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Oh Ive seen this before. Lmao! But that has to be a joke. Nobody is that stupid.

Unless theyre from my neck of the woods of course...
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Old 07-24-2001, 10:45 PM   #19
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LOL! That was hilarious. I really hope no one is really that stupid, though.

"We miss our lemon, I'd just like to say that." - Bono, 5/9/01
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Old 07-24-2001, 11:51 PM   #20
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Man, I wish I'd written that! It'a about the funniest thing I've read in along time.

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