Confucius Says...

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Lila64

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Confucius Says...
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Man who stand on toilet high on pot.

Man who jump off cliff, jump to conclusion.

Man who run behind car get exhausted.

Virgin just like balloon ... one prick, all gone.

Couple on 7-day honeymoon make hole weak.

Man who loses key to lady's apartment get no new-key.

Man who go to sleep with itchy butt, wake with smelly fingers...

Man who go to bed with diarrhoea wake up in deep shit

War do not determine who right, war determine who left.

Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok

He who farts in church sits in own pew.

He who sneezes without a handkerchief takes matters into his own hands.

Squirrel who run up woman's leg not find nuts.

Girl who sit on jockey's lap get hot tip.

If you want pretty nurse, you got to be patient.

Don't sweat petty stuff, and don't pet sweaty stuff.

Support bacteria - may be only culture some people have.

Woman who cook carrots and peas in same pot not very sanitary.

To prevent hangover stay drunk.


I'm sure you all know some sayings :shifty:

enjoy!
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haha those are funny :D

Here's a couple:

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away and barefoot.

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
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btw my most recent fortune read: It is better to be happy and eat beans and bacon than to be unhappy and eat steak and ale (in bed) :giggle:
 
Passionate kiss like spiders web - soon lead to undoing of fly

Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk

It takes many nails to build crib, but one screw to fill it


:wink:
 
This thread made me think of a promotional spot for the Adam Corolla Show (the West Coast replacement for Howard Stern).

He said when you talk about an elderly white, jewish or hispanic male, you think bumbling old guy who can't control bodily functions. But when you talk about an elderly Chinese male, you think wisdom.
 
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