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Old 10-12-2005, 05:41 PM   #1
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Coldplay In the Year 2007

I decided after the Conan show last week I would give this a try, trying to predict what the next album will be like for the craptacular band Coldplay

Coldplay's next album will be released in 2007, and will be called How to Take Apart a Nuclear Weapon





1// Verti-No - The first single will get to number 19839379 on the radio charts, a new record for Coldplay. After trying to get Verti-No in an Ipod commercial and being rejected, Coldplay will settle for letting a clip of the song be played durring McDonalds commercials.



2// It's a Miracle that we're still Selling Records - The song title speaks for itself.

3// We Can't Make it on our Own, So we Steal U2's ideas - Coldplay admits they steal all their songs from U2, it's about time.

4// Love and Peace or Else I'll Sing - Better show some love people.

5// Speed of Blinding Clocks - Finally the 3 songs will be merged into one! 2/3 of the song sucks (the clocks and speed of sound part) and the last 1/3 of the song is increadible, one of the better songs on the album

6// All Because of U2 - Similar to the message sent in song number 3

7// Chris Martin sings like a Woman - Probably because of Apple castrating Chris *see: Fix You*

8// All the Crumbs that U2 Left Behind - Wow, I guess if they got away with recreating Clocks, they can get away with recreating the messages from songs 3 and 6

9// One album Closer to Retirement - Let's hope there aren't many left

10// Not so Original of the Fecis - Coldplay's not so original songs that sound like crap. Straitforward title.

11// No-Way - No-way these guys will ever be as good as U2, quit trying.

12// Cars that Drive at the Speed of Sound - This was a crappy song when U2 wrote it, and Coldplay didn't do much better stealing it from them.

13// Verti-Hell-No X 2 - Well, Chris Martin's always so intent on beating U2 as the biggest rock band on earth, so he thought he'd try going for 13 tracks. It's 12 and 2/3 tracks too many if you ask me.
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Old 10-12-2005, 05:47 PM   #2
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Alright now where's the funny?
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Old 10-12-2005, 05:48 PM   #3
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Someone's REALLY bored.
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Old 10-12-2005, 05:55 PM   #4
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OMG CODLPLAY SUX LOLOLOLOLOL

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Old 10-12-2005, 05:59 PM   #5
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HAY GUYS COLDPLAY SUX JUST THOUGHT ID MENTION THAT AGAIN SINCE IT NEVER GETS OLD

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Old 10-12-2005, 06:20 PM   #6
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Old 10-12-2005, 06:22 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally posted by typhoon
HAY GUYS COLDPLAY SUX JUST THOUGHT ID MENTION THAT AGAIN SINCE IT NEVER GETS OLD

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Old 10-12-2005, 06:26 PM   #8
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This has to be the fucking stupidest thing I've seen in my entire life.
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Old 10-12-2005, 06:29 PM   #9
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next time you're bored, masturbate.
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Old 10-12-2005, 06:32 PM   #10
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Respect other fans tastes

this topic should be deleted
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Old 10-12-2005, 06:32 PM   #11
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THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE THE

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Old 10-12-2005, 06:32 PM   #12
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hahahaha, I guess it only sounds funny when we talk about it at school eh mate?

man, this is brutal, lol

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Old 10-12-2005, 06:34 PM   #13
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haha, it's actually pretty good!
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Old 10-12-2005, 06:35 PM   #14
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I was actually quite amused.
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Old 10-12-2005, 06:38 PM   #15
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Quote:
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Respect other fans tastes
yes, but could this be considered his musical tastes too?
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