I decided after the Conan show last week I would give this a try, trying to predict what the next album will be like for the craptacular band Coldplay
Coldplay's next album will be released in 2007, and will be called How to Take Apart a Nuclear Weapon
1// Verti-No - The first single will get to number 19839379 on the radio charts, a new record for Coldplay. After trying to get Verti-No in an Ipod commercial and being rejected, Coldplay will settle for letting a clip of the song be played durring McDonalds commercials.
2// It's a Miracle that we're still Selling Records - The song title speaks for itself.
3// We Can't Make it on our Own, So we Steal U2's ideas - Coldplay admits they steal all their songs from U2, it's about time.
4// Love and Peace or Else I'll Sing - Better show some love people.
5// Speed of Blinding Clocks - Finally the 3 songs will be merged into one! 2/3 of the song sucks (the clocks and speed of sound part) and the last 1/3 of the song is increadible, one of the better songs on the album
6// All Because of U2 - Similar to the message sent in song number 3
7// Chris Martin sings like a Woman - Probably because of Apple castrating Chris *see: Fix You*
8// All the Crumbs that U2 Left Behind - Wow, I guess if they got away with recreating Clocks, they can get away with recreating the messages from songs 3 and 6
9// One album Closer to Retirement - Let's hope there aren't many left
10// Not so Original of the Fecis - Coldplay's not so original songs that sound like crap. Straitforward title.
11// No-Way - No-way these guys will ever be as good as U2, quit trying.
12// Cars that Drive at the Speed of Sound - This was a crappy song when U2 wrote it, and Coldplay didn't do much better stealing it from them.
13// Verti-Hell-No X 2 - Well, Chris Martin's always so intent on beating U2 as the biggest rock band on earth, so he thought he'd try going for 13 tracks. It's 12 and 2/3 tracks too many if you ask me.
Coldplay's next album will be released in 2007, and will be called How to Take Apart a Nuclear Weapon
1// Verti-No - The first single will get to number 19839379 on the radio charts, a new record for Coldplay. After trying to get Verti-No in an Ipod commercial and being rejected, Coldplay will settle for letting a clip of the song be played durring McDonalds commercials.
2// It's a Miracle that we're still Selling Records - The song title speaks for itself.
3// We Can't Make it on our Own, So we Steal U2's ideas - Coldplay admits they steal all their songs from U2, it's about time.
4// Love and Peace or Else I'll Sing - Better show some love people.
5// Speed of Blinding Clocks - Finally the 3 songs will be merged into one! 2/3 of the song sucks (the clocks and speed of sound part) and the last 1/3 of the song is increadible, one of the better songs on the album
6// All Because of U2 - Similar to the message sent in song number 3
7// Chris Martin sings like a Woman - Probably because of Apple castrating Chris *see: Fix You*
8// All the Crumbs that U2 Left Behind - Wow, I guess if they got away with recreating Clocks, they can get away with recreating the messages from songs 3 and 6
9// One album Closer to Retirement - Let's hope there aren't many left
10// Not so Original of the Fecis - Coldplay's not so original songs that sound like crap. Straitforward title.
11// No-Way - No-way these guys will ever be as good as U2, quit trying.
12// Cars that Drive at the Speed of Sound - This was a crappy song when U2 wrote it, and Coldplay didn't do much better stealing it from them.
13// Verti-Hell-No X 2 - Well, Chris Martin's always so intent on beating U2 as the biggest rock band on earth, so he thought he'd try going for 13 tracks. It's 12 and 2/3 tracks too many if you ask me.
lock: 
