Chuck Norrisisms

[cobl04]

We're going through a massive Chuck Norris phase at school right now, so I thought I'd bring some here! This may or may not work

So for all those in the dark about the man, he I spose is just really manly and each ism is a line proving how manly he is.

My personal favourites:

Chuck Norris had sex before his Dad.

There is no theory of evolution. Just animals Chuck Norris allows to live.

Chuck Norris is the reason Wally/Waldo is hiding.

When Chuck Norris does a push up, he's not lifting himself up, he's pushing the earth down.

Chuck Norris doesn't wear watch, he decides what time it is.

Your turn!

 

[Cin]

Whatta man



eeeeew

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/



Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

 

[phillyfan26]

This happened at my school a couple years ago.

 

[LMP]

This happened at my school a couple years ago.

 

[Bonogirl777]

This happened at my school at the end of the year which was like *thinks* 2 weeks ago. I think it was because of that new Mountain Dew commercial.

 

[Lancemc]

I wish this would just up and die already.

 

[phillyfan26]

My favorite Chuck Norris moment ever was him approving Average Joe's to play in the Dodgeball championship. It was all downhill from there.

 

[LMP]

The Conan/Walker clips are priceless. That show was maybe the most ridiculous primetime show ever.

"Walker told me I have AIDS."

 

[impy13]

Early 2006

 

[AtomicBono]

This happened at my school at the end of the year which was like *thinks* 2 weeks ago. I think it was because of that new Mountain Dew commercial.

Mountain Dew > Chuck Norris

 

[~BrightestStar~]

Oh Chuck Norris, you just won't go away will you...


I remember this stuff from years ago...

~Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn’t stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.

~If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris you are only seconds away from death.

And I vaguely recall one that was something like...
Chuck Norris eliminated the need for meterologists by correctly predicting 100% chance of pain, everyday.

 

[Dalton]

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad Chuck Norris NEVER cries.

 

[pepokiss]

Chuck RULES!!!

 

[The Sad Punk]

Early 2006

It was even annoying then.

 

[Mountain Dew Ma]

Mountain Dew > Chuck Norris

Do the Dew.

 

[AtomicBono]

Do the Dew.

word brah

also

DQ something new

 

[Mountain Dew Ma]

word brah

also

DQ something new

Hot Eats,

Cool Treats.

>

Chuck Norris.

 

[LMP]

I always gotten a kick out of the Chuck Norris jokes, even though they seem a little too Bill Brasky-inspired.

TO BILL BRASKY!

 

[mysterious_jen]

this is great ! long live chuck ........

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

Chuck Norris took my virginity and he sure as hell will take yours too. You may say, "That's impossible, I already lost my viriginity!" but you are dead wrong.

 

[Slipstream]

"Chuck Norris doesn't take showers, he takes blood baths."

 

[Canadiens1131]

This happened at my school a couple years ago.

 

[Zoomerang96]

this is great ! long live chuck ........