Christmas Laffs - U2 Feedback

Go Back   U2 Feedback > Lypton Village > Lemonade Stand > Lemonade Stand Archive
Click Here to Login
 
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
 
Old 12-21-2005, 11:26 AM   #1
Refugee
 
Eliv8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: A Place Called San Diego
Posts: 1,842
Local Time: 03:11 AM
Christmas Laffs











__________________

__________________
Eliv8 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:28 AM   #2
Refugee
 
Eliv8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: A Place Called San Diego
Posts: 1,842
Local Time: 03:11 AM

















...
__________________

__________________
Eliv8 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:28 AM   #3
Blue Crack Addict
 
U2Girl1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: At the altar of the dark star
Posts: 19,374
Local Time: 06:11 AM
__________________
U2Girl1978 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:29 AM   #4
Blue Crack Addict
 
U2Girl1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: At the altar of the dark star
Posts: 19,374
Local Time: 06:11 AM
__________________
U2Girl1978 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:30 AM   #5
Blue Crack Addict
 
starsgoblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Looking for direction to perfection
Posts: 17,828
Local Time: 05:11 AM
Should I post my letter Jools?
__________________
starsgoblue is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:32 AM   #6
Refugee
 
Eliv8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: A Place Called San Diego
Posts: 1,842
Local Time: 03:11 AM
__________________
Eliv8 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:32 AM   #7
Blue Crack Addict
 
MrsSpringsteen's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Posts: 24,984
Local Time: 05:11 AM
__________________
MrsSpringsteen is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:33 AM   #8
Blue Crack Addict
 
U2Girl1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: At the altar of the dark star
Posts: 19,374
Local Time: 06:11 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by starsgoblue
Should I post my letter Jools?
!!
__________________
U2Girl1978 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:33 AM   #9
Blue Crack Addict
 
starsgoblue's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Looking for direction to perfection
Posts: 17,828
Local Time: 05:11 AM
__________________
starsgoblue is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:34 AM   #10
Blue Crack Addict
 
U2Girl1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: At the altar of the dark star
Posts: 19,374
Local Time: 06:11 AM



__________________
U2Girl1978 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:34 AM   #11
Blue Crack Addict
 
Dismantled's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Vermont
Posts: 21,345
Local Time: 06:11 AM
omg that santa my eyes!!!
__________________
Dismantled is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:35 AM   #12
Blue Crack Addict
 
U2Girl1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: At the altar of the dark star
Posts: 19,374
Local Time: 06:11 AM
rebekah
__________________
U2Girl1978 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:38 AM   #13
Blue Crack Addict
 
U2Girl1978's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: At the altar of the dark star
Posts: 19,374
Local Time: 06:11 AM






__________________
U2Girl1978 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:42 AM   #14
Refugee
 
Eliv8's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: A Place Called San Diego
Posts: 1,842
Local Time: 03:11 AM
December 14, 2003

Dearest Dave,

I went to the door today, and the postman delivered a partridge in a pear tree. This was a delightful gift! I couldn't have been more surprised or pleased darling!

With truly the deepest love,
Agnes

December 15, 2003

Dearest Dave,

Today the postman brought me yet another of your sweet gifts. The two turtule doves that arrived today are adorable, and I'm delighted by your thoughtful and generous ways.

With all of my love,
Your Agnes

December 16, 2003

Dearest Dave,

You've truly been too kind! I must protest; I don't deserve such generosity. The thought of getting three French hens amazes me. Yet, I am not surprised--what more should I expect from such a nice person.

Love,
Agnes

December 17, 2003

Dear Dave,

Four calling birds arrived in the mail today. They are truly nice but don't you think that enough is enough? You are being too romantic.

Affectionately,
Agnes

December 18, 2003

Dearest darling Dave,

It was a surprise to get five golden rings! I now have one for every finger. You truly are impossible darling, yet oh how I love it! Quite frankly, all of those squarking birds from the previous days were starting to get on my nerves. Yet, you managed to come through with a beautiful valuable gift!

All my love,
Agnes

December 19, 2003

Dear Dave,

When I opened my door, there were actually six geese a-laying on my front steps. So you're back to the birds again, huh? Those geese are dear, but where will I keep them? The neighbors are complaining, and I am unable to sleep with all the racket. Please stop dear.

Cordially,
Agnes

December 20, 2003

Dave,

What is with you and those stupid birds!? Seven swans a-swimming!! What kind of sick joke is this!!?? There’s bird shit everywhere! They never shut up, and I don't get any sleep!!! I'm a nervous wreck! It's not funny you weirdo, so stop with the birds.

Sincerely,
Agnes

December 21, 2003

O.K. wise guy,

The birds were bad enough. Now what do you expect me to do with eight maids a-milking? If that's not bad enough, they had to bring their fucking cows!! The front lawn was completely ruined by them, and I can't move in my own house! Just lay off me or you'll be sorry!

Agnes

December 22, 2003

Hey loser,

What are you? You must be some kind of sadist!! Now there are nine pipers playing, and they certainly do play! They haven't stopped chasing those maids since they got here! The cows are getting upset, and they're stepping all over those screeching birds. The neighbors are getting up a petition to evict me, and I'm going out of my mind!

You'll get yours!
Agnes

December 23, 2003

You rotten scum!!!

There are now ten ladies dancing! There is only one problem with that! They're dancing twenty-four hours a day all around me with the pipers upsetting the cows and the maids. The cows can't sleep, and they are shitting everywhere! The building commissioner has subpoenaed me to give cause as to why the house shouldn't be condemned! I can't even think of a reason! You creep! I'm sicking the police on you!

One who means it!

December 24, 2003

Listen you evil, sadistic, maniac!

What's with the eleven lords-a-leaping?!? They are leaping across the rooms breaking everything and even injuring some of the maids! The place smells, is an absolute mad house, and is about to be condemned! At least the birds are quiet. They were trampled to death by the cows! I hope you are satisfied--you rotten vicious worthless piece of garbage!

Your sworn enemy,
Agnes

December 25, 2003

The Law Offices of
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
20 Knave Street
Chicago, Illinois

Dear sir,

This is to acknowledge your latest gift of twelve fiddlers-fiddling which you have seen fit to inflict on our client, one Agnes Mcholstein. The destruction of course was total. If you attempt to reach Ms. Mcholstein at Happy Daze Sanatarium, the attendants have instructions to shoot you on site.

Please direct all correspondence to this office in the future. With this letter, please find attached a warrant for your arrest.

Cordially,
Badger, Rees, and Yorker
__________________
Eliv8 is offline  
Old 12-21-2005, 11:43 AM   #15
Blue Crack Addict
 
Dismantled's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Vermont
Posts: 21,345
Local Time: 06:11 AM
[IMG][/IMG]
__________________

__________________
Dismantled is offline  
 

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 05:11 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8 Beta 1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Design, images and all things inclusive copyright © Interference.com