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Old 09-01-2005, 05:33 AM   #76
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This is really too awful to tell.

What was the first thing the three legged dog say when he walked into the saloon?







With six shooters drawn he shouts
ALRIGHT NOW!!! who shot my Pa?

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Old 09-01-2005, 06:52 AM   #77
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Quote:
Originally posted by {paintedroses}
Whats wrong with blondes?

where's the clue
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Old 09-01-2005, 06:54 AM   #78
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Quote:
Originally posted by {paintedroses}
Well its ok then cos its not true!
then show you're not a brunette
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Old 09-01-2005, 06:56 AM   #79
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Old 09-01-2005, 06:57 AM   #80
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come on!
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Old 09-01-2005, 06:58 AM   #81
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Old 09-01-2005, 07:06 AM   #82
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pfffffffffft
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Old 09-01-2005, 07:08 AM   #83
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what do you want from me?!
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Old 09-01-2005, 07:55 AM   #84
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How do you keep an Amish woman satisfied?

(with two mennonite)

Why do Amish like their horses so much?

(cause after their date-they have a ride home)

Sorry to pick on the Amish.
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Old 09-01-2005, 11:22 AM   #85
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A duck walks into a bar, says to the barkeep; " Got any Grapes?" Barkeep replies; " No, we don't have any grapes and we don't serve ducks..beat it!"

Next day the duck walks into the bar and asks the same question.. "I TOLD YOU, we don't have any grapes and we don't serve ducks!" yells the barkeep,

Next day the duck walks in and asks the same question again, " For the last time, WE DON'T HAVE GRAPES OR SERVE DUCKS..... IF YOU COME IN HERE AGAIN I'M GONNA NAIL YOUR FECKIN' WEB FEET TO THE FLOOR... GOT IT?!?"

A week later the duck shows up and asks; " Hey barkeep, got any NAILS?"

Puzzled, the barkeep answers; "NO.."

The duck replies;
" Great.... got any grapes?"

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Old 09-03-2005, 02:02 PM   #86
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oh good god...
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Old 09-06-2005, 02:50 AM   #87
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Q: How do you get a kleenex to dance?
A: Put a little boogie in it.


Q: What goes, "clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop, bang?"
A: An Amish drive-by.

This joke was told to me by someone who was Chinese:

A Chinese guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar and have a few drinks. All the sudden the Jewish guy gets up and punches the Chinese guy in face.
Chinese guy: "Hey, what'd you do that for?! I didn't do anything to you? Why'd you hit me?"
Jewish guy: "That's for Pearl Harbor!"
Chinese guy: "Pearl Harbor?! I wasn't even born then. Besides Pearl Harbor was the the Japanese. I'm Chinese!"
Jewish guy: "Chinese, Japanese...Korean. It's all the same to me."
Chinese guy: Punches the Jewish guy in the face and says, "Oh yeah?!? Well, that's for sinking the Titanic!"
Jewish guy: "Sinking the Titanic? I wasn't even born then. Besides the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg!"
Chinese guy: "Iceberg, Greenberg...Steinberg. It's all the same to me!"

Sorry if this joke offends anyone who's Chinese or Jewish...or Chinese and Jewish.
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Old 09-06-2005, 11:03 AM   #88
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What do three women do stranded on an island?

Two get together and criticize the other woman.
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Old 09-06-2005, 11:05 AM   #89
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alright my one -slightly dirty corny joke

Cinderella is getting ready for the ball and she realizes she has her period - her ballgown is completely white and she starts to panic - she say "fairy godmother what am I going to do? I can't go to the balll - sob." Her fairy godmother tells Cinderella not to worry - she has a magic tampon but unfortunately at midnight the tampon turns into a pumpkin so Cinderella needs to be back before midnight. Well Cinderella is all excited -thanks her fairy godmother and promises that she will be home in time. Cinderella puts on her fantasic white gown and rushes off to the ball. So 1145 rolls around - no Cinderella - 1200, 0100, 0200... the fairy godmother is really worried about Cinderella by now around 0300 Cinderella comes back home with a big grin on her face - the fairy godmother rushes up to her and saying how worried she was about her. Cinderella just tells her fairy godmother "oh Fairy Godmother I had the most wonderful night, I met this great Prince and we had an amazing night.....his name was Peter Peter Something Eater"


sorry it was so long
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Old 09-06-2005, 08:10 PM   #90
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what do you do with a dog with no legs?

take it for a drag.
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