Can Guys be ONLY FRIENDS with GIRLS?

[diamond]

i think i know that fella

 

[zonelistener]

ah, yes, your typical Jersey girl.

Oh how I don't miss you guys.
.
.

 

[therulz]

I wonder....

WTF...I wonder where some of these replies are coming from..or should I say what appendage?

gender<>relationship<>friendship?

I have a dream that there really is a little slice of intelligence amongst our population and it is entirley possible that maybe we are not all truly inept at friendship. I enjoy talking to an articulate, intelligent, diverse group of friends and feel fully capable of doing that without starting an orgy. I also believe that I would NOT like to every male that I talk to under the false pretense of 'friendship'. I have a committed relationship and none of you would compare to how I feel about him nor how he feels about me (nor would you compare to anything else!!). I would also NEVER want to hurt him or jeapordize our relationship by undermining the depth of trust and true friendship and love we share. I love my Canuck A LOT!

You make me feel that I can't go out and just be the truly nice happy friendly (and loveable) woman, who I am, and not worry that someone is pretending to be a friend under the false pretenses that they want to get laid. I can assure you that they aren't.

 

[Klaus]

sure they can - do you think that we are animals who can't controll themself?

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

sure they can - do you think that we are animals who can't controll themself?

of course i don't think that about you all.

 

[therulz]

I don't know, the guys i hang out with typically divide their time between hanging out at nudie bars and viewing hardcore pornography on the net; if it helps, my best guy friend's favorite shirt reads: The Sex Psychic Said You're Gonna Do Me.

See, I told u somost ladies always want the freak sooner or later.db3

I meant this BS about not being able to be friends with the opposite sex. I know you two don't really think that way (do you?).

I did not really intend to make that sound like it was aimed at gender bashing, just clowns. That is not how I meant it. I just can not for the life of me imagine thinking that way. I try to like everyone.

 

[Nate Dogg]

you just explained the last 4 years of my life my friend... only without the part about still being friends... ahhh being single sucks... i think i should reopen the singleton's thread in zoo-confessionals

It's strangely comforting hearing that this has happened to others like you and Diemen. Besides her, there is only one other friend that I have ever told about all of this, and that wasn't until about a year ago. My family and friends will occaisionally ask me(or even tease me) about me and her, and there's no easy answer. I hope I can move on, meet someone else, all while remaining friends with her. That's a tall order, but I still believe it's possible.....

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

It's strangely comforting hearing that this has happened to others like you and Diemen. Besides her, there is only one other friend that I have ever told about all of this, and that wasn't until about a year ago. My family and friends will occaisionally ask me(or even tease me) about me and her, and there's no easy answer. I hope I can move on, meet someone else, all while remaining friends with her. That's a tall order, but I still believe it's possible.....

 

[joyfulgirl]

sure they can - do you think that we are animals who can't controll themself?

 

[JimmyChicken]

well can you?!


just curious. i have many male friends who i consider to be "like brother's" and have no interest in having a relationship beyond a simple friendship with them.

so now i am curious, is it possible for guys to have female friends and have NO interest in dating them!?

I can't speak for other males, but there are plenty of females that I only wish to retain a platonic friendship with.

However there has been one recently that's having trouble understanding that. She's been all over me, said many suggestive things, forcefully tried to make me kiss her, etc.

And its just darn annoying. Telling her I'd had enough of her behaviour wasn't enough, so I had to tell her I wouldn't associate with her any longer if she kept it up. That got her to back off a bit. Maybe not quite enough.

She's under the impression I'm not interested (and never have been) in females because I just want a platonic friendship. Which isn't true.

 

[Diemen]

It's strangely comforting hearing that this has happened to others like you and Diemen. Besides her, there is only one other friend that I have ever told about all of this, and that wasn't until about a year ago. My family and friends will occaisionally ask me(or even tease me) about me and her, and there's no easy answer. I hope I can move on, meet someone else, all while remaining friends with her. That's a tall order, but I still believe it's possible.....

It is a tall order, but I also believe it possible, though it's a struggle. Things are a little strained still in my case (though much better than before). Sometimes I get the feeling that she thinks I have ulterior motives for pushing so hard to get the friendship back to normal, talk-all-the-time circumstances, when honestly I really just want that kind of friendship back because I've had it for most of my life, and I've become quite attached to it, regardless of the failed romance between us.

Sometimes it seems it would be easier to regain our normal friendship if I met someone else, if that makes any sense.

 

[Nate Dogg]

It is a tall order, but I also believe it possible, though it's a struggle. Things are a little strained still in my case (though much better than before). Sometimes I get the feeling that she thinks I have ulterior motives for pushing so hard to get the friendship back to normal, talk-all-the-time circumstances, when honestly I really just want that kind of friendship back because I've had it for most of my life, and I've become quite attached to it, regardless of the failed romance between us.

Sometimes it seems it would be easier to regain our normal friendship if I met someone else, if that makes any sense.

Actually, I know exactly what you mean. It's hard seeing them with someone else when you are still single. I had a bad experience with my friend tonight. She told me she was looking at engagement rings today with a guy she's been dating for, oh...a month.Anyways, I flat out told her she was an idiot, and called called the guy a deushbag(sp?). Kind of harsh, but I think it came from a dark place in me, a dark place the didn't exist at one time. If history is any indication, we will probably not talk now for an extended period of time. Right now I have given up on humanity, it seems. How can someone constantly feel the need to be married, let alone attached, to another human being? When things like this happen, I tend to focus on all the negaitive things about her, and I hate that. There's not enough time for me to ramble more........anyways, Diemen, keep your head up. I've been there(still there!), and it's not easy.

 

[martha]

Unless the guy really is that bad, you were out of line.

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

i would be mad at you and probably not talk to you for a while if you called me an idiot about being engaged.

 

[Diemen]

Yeah, it looks like you jumped the gun a little bit there, Nate, but I completely understand where you're coming from (though I'd personally never go so far as calling my friend an idiot). Still, you should find a nice way to give her a sincere apology, even if she still doesn't accept it immediately.

Last year my friend managed to drop the news on me that she and her boyfriend of (then) 6 weeks were already talking engagement. It came as a shock and I was concerned, but she mistook the concern for jealousy (I didn't lash out or anything, I just asked if she was sure and she mistook it as me trying to plant a seed of doubt ).

Anyway, they've been dating for about 8 months now, they're taking their time and he's thankfully a really cool, truly nice, honest guy so I'm really happy she's found someone worthwhile.

geez. I feel like this should be a private journal entry. Anyway, yeah, apologize to her, if she means as much to you as a friend as my friend does to me, then just hang in there, be patient, and let time run it's course...

 

[diamond]

im underwhelmed by all the cumutatived volunteered garble



thank u
db9

 

[therulz]

im whelmed by garble

thank u
db9

 

[AvsGirl41]

I really do believe that guys and girls can be just friends...and yet it has never happened that way for me!! All of my very close male friends have inevitably wanted more from me. I just could not see myself with any of them. Only in one instance have we been able to stay friends, but it's turned distant and shallow compared to what it once was.

Actually, right now I have several male friends and we are just fine. We hang out, it's not awkward. One of them is engaged, so I guess he doesn't count?

But you want stories, oh do I have stories.

The most recent and ugly was a friend at school--who confesses midway that he had considered asking me out when we first met. So there was a weird vibe there, but I felt we had moved to just being friends and thought he was comfortable about that since he didn't push or ask for anything else. But it got to where he was constantly wanting to me to go out, especially to places where his friends and coworkers would see us together. I started to feel like I was unconsciously dating him. And it moved into his becoming very possessive and jealous if I talked about any other guys and would send me drunk e-mails demanding to know why he wasn't good enough. So, that "friendship" ended pretty quickly. There were other problems but that was an underlying factor. Even now, it feels like we *did* date-- he won't even speak to me when he sees me at school.

 

[Nate Dogg]

Yeah, it looks like you jumped the gun a little bit there, Nate, but I completely understand where you're coming from (though I'd personally never go so far as calling my friend an idiot). Still, you should find a nice way to give her a sincere apology, even if she still doesn't accept it immediately.

Last year my friend managed to drop the news on me that she and her boyfriend of (then) 6 weeks were already talking engagement. It came as a shock and I was concerned, but she mistook the concern for jealousy (I didn't lash out or anything, I just asked if she was sure and she mistook it as me trying to plant a seed of doubt ).

Anyway, they've been dating for about 8 months now, they're taking their time and he's thankfully a really cool, truly nice, honest guy so I'm really happy she's found someone worthwhile.

geez. I feel like this should be a private journal entry. Anyway, yeah, apologize to her, if she means as much to you as a friend as my friend does to me, then just hang in there, be patient, and let time run it's course...

It appears right now that our friendship is over. She called me today, told me I was the only one of her friends who wasn't supportive, to in no way contact her, and that she is basically fed up with me. Obviously my heart feels as if has been torn from my chest right now. She has been one of my best, if not my best, friend for a shade under a decade. She is getting married on July 11th. I am in shock to the events of the past 4 days. She, only two months ago, was completely untrusting of men after her boyfriend of two years left her.Now she's marrying a completely different one. I was there for her when she was down and hurt. Now I am the odd man out, the enemy. I feel miserable, and there is no way she'd listen to anything I have to say to her(although I did apologize). I have absolutely no hope right now that it can be fixed. Sorry to ramble........

As for the question posed in this thread....I change my answer to "no"

 

[MissVelvetDress_75]

 

[Diemen]

So sorry to hear that, Nate.

 

[a-mole]

didn't read to all the replies

I just know that my best friend is male
(we've been best friends since 3 years)

in the beginning he was in love wit hme.. now we ar elike brother and sister and have our bf/ gf
works for us perfectly fine