Bummerville, CA, United States Superthread

[LemonMelon]

This kid got poison ivy despite icicles being the only thing growing here.

 

[bono_212]

Uhoh, an overheard conversation... I'm beginning to think we're watching a movie.

 

[LemonMelon]

Uhoh, an overheard conversation... I'm beginning to think we're watching a movie.

I thought it was a documentary on the long-term effects of rampant stupidity.

 

[LemonMelon]

Colored plastic tree toppers are native to Alaska. They leave the nest at 3 months.

 

[LemonMelon]

"This is definitely the most Christmas I've had in a long time."

Yeah, gurl. "Christmas."

 

[LemonMelon]

If the person who beat you soundly backed out, you aren't the first choice. You're a distant second.

 

[bono_212]

She's getting lots and lots of "Christmas"

 

[bono_212]

She's tossing and turning... Will she follow her dreams? Or her heart.

 

[LemonMelon]

*Fondles tree topper*

"Oh, God. I'm going to miss you most of all."

 

[bono_212]

Oh, she's following her dreams. How callous.

 

[bono_212]

Was it even a relationship? You guys boned once and then she got her dream job. Where was the relationship?

 

[LemonMelon]

*Fondles tree topper*

"Oh, God. I'm going to miss you most of all."

And yes, I did mean to write this as if the colored plastic tree topper is her god.

 

[bono_212]

This has been my dream for half my life!?!

Well what took so long? You're FORTY

 

[bono_212]

Correction, everyone, she is thirty eight. Totally reasonable age to be starting your career.

 

[LemonMelon]

Everyone in the North Pole is going to die because of stress-related diabetes. But at least Boston is going to have a 358749503rd doctor.

 

[bono_212]

Who are all of these characters, sobbing at her leaving?! I've never seen them before, but they're acting like her best friends.

 

[LemonMelon]

"We'll get to California some day, Billie."

 

[bono_212]

I still wanna see California.

 

[bono_212]

I'd love to stop time so could be here, but still go be a fellow in Boston.

Well... Don't go to Boston?

 

[bono_212]

Oh don't fake an injury, Santa. That's low.

 

[bono_212]

He collapsed at work with chest pain?! Bull shit! She JUST left him. How did he get to the office, even, in that amount of time?

 

[LemonMelon]

It's not a real heart attack, just one of those fake ones. You good now? Alright, cool.

I'm fucking off to Boston! Whoaaaa oh ohhhh

 

[LemonMelon]

Lean meat? lmfao get out of here, hippie

 

[bono_212]

Eat more grains, Santa.

 

[bono_212]

This whole movie is actually an allegory for healthier eating. I think they've talked more about that than anything else.

 

[Axver]

Hahaha well this is a great read!

 

[bono_212]

The Saturday after noon special where Santa has a heart attack from eating too many cookies... This could be YOU.

 

[LemonMelon]

This whole movie is actually an allegory for healthier eating. I think they've talked more about that than anything else.

That's Garland for ya!

 

[bono_212]

Hahaha well this is a great read!

It's better than watching it, that's for sure.

 

[bono_212]

Sorry I'm a huge disappointment, father. Gonna stay here with Santa Claus in Alaska.