Bullying

[Mrs. Edge]

The other night at a family dinner, my nieces were talking about going off for a week long trip to a science/biology type camp that most students who live in this area go to during the winter. They are very excited.

Hearing them talk about it put butterflies in my stomach as I remembered going to that camp as a child and being mercilessly teased...I would either be ostracized entirely, or picked on (and they even stole my stuffed toy armadillo and tossed it around the room! aaah!). Summer camp was equally appalling with cliques, and I begged my parents never to send me again.

The worst years for me were grades 4, 5 and 6. I was a bespectacled little girl who wore dresses and pigtails and had moved to the big city from the suburbs and left all my friends behind. I went to a particularly snobby school (full of agressive children of lawyers and stockbrokers etc.) and it was like being thrown into a sea of sharks. I did not have the money to buy the in clothes, and was way to shy to charm my way into the cliques.

Again there was that horrible isolation, or worse, there were incidents where they would try to force feed me food they found on the ground, ...or write things about me on the bathroom walls, or leave cruel notes in my pencil box (remember those?)....and I was much too shy and timid to do anything about it. I was so upset and afraid, I would get on the bus and just ride around the city, or pretend to be sick. When I finally moved on to grade 7 things got much better...I went from being picked on to being invisible, which was a huge improvement, believe me! My school years have left me with a permanent inferiority complex. (I think this is one of the other reasons I value my U2 friends so much.....)

When I read about bullying nowadays though, what I went through was a piece of cake. Did or do any of you go through this? Or were you a bullyer? Or mercifully left alone?

 

[u2er]

I was left alone.. but my school years aren't over yet

 

[Sicy]

Believe it or not I was picked on a lot when I was younger. ( Maybe that's why I'm such a bitch now )

There was always some boy, or a group of girls in practically every grade that was rude to me. I especially remember junior high sucking really bad. They would surround me and just start talking shit to me about what I was wearing, or my hair, anything. I didnt have the hip clothes like them and I wasnt pretty. My parents were cheap and rarely bought me clothes.. and when they did they were from cheap stores. In seventh grade there was a couple boys in one of my classes that would constantly tease me about my big lips. Coming up with all sorts of fucked up names .. nothing sexual, just rude.

I would like to see all these people now and see what they think of me. Especially the boys because you know, real men love full lips.

 

[U2Bama]

I was called the n-word once at the beach by a foul-mouthed kid.

 

[Stories for Boys]

i was teased...not bad. the worst was 6th and 7th grade. 6th grade there was just one girl who was completely rude to me...mocked me, pushed me around...once she kept bugging me and telling me i was ugly, etc, til i cried (haven't since, thankfully)...it got much better though...and, now i'm not in my "awkward stage" and i'm 6'1...i'd like to see her now!

 

[adamswildhoney]

I was teased A LOT and thats why i dont make friends that well now!! For 6th - 8th I had a bullying and she even went has far has hitting me in the face( causing my mouth to bleed bc i had braces)and so ever since then I keep to myself and I have a really hard time trusting pple and making friends!!

One time when i was in 4th grade i invited "friends" over from a slumber and everything was fun and then the next day i was told that they didnt like me and they just came over bc they wanted to see where i lived and weather it was a dump and also bc they all had crushes on my brother.

In High school and grade school I was made fun of alotand pple would spread nasty rumours around about me and one of the names that they would call me is Horse bc apparently i looked like one whenever i pulled my hair back!!

 

[deep]

I was called the n-word once at the beach by a foul-mouthed kid.

I've seen you post this before.

It sure made an impression.

 

[U2Bama]

The kid apparently thought it was cool or funny or something as he had a group of friends with him and I was walking by alone; he was about hte same age as me. He thought I would just keep walking, I guess, but when I confronted him (calmly) he started acting real friendly. My older brothers were situated just down the beach also.

~U2Alabama

 

[deep]

I guess it was the worse (most degrading) name he could call you.
I think boys today now use "fag".


To the poll, I could vote in all three selections.

 

[cell]

yeah, i was teased from when i was very young to 8th grade. i dont think there was a time that i dont remember not being picked on back then. i was too shy and too scared to stick up for myself.

it was always about my speech, or my hearing aids, the glasses i had to wear. there were some teachers that even picked on me too. they were the worst, because then it encouraged other kids to pick on me too. it was just really awful to the point where i wanted to kill myself. my mother had to keep a close eye on me to make sure i didnt do anything harmful to myself back then. she had an idea of what was going on thru the years, and even threatened the teachers and mothers of the kids that picked on me.

there was one time that i had the nerve to stand up for myself in 8th grade. there was this one chick who was main bully(she's picked on me since i was in first grade), and then one day she wanted to really hurt me for just being alive. i found out 2 hours before by some nice girl who felt bad for me back then. i emptied my purse out and stuck a bunch of glass bottles in my purse to swing at her head in case she did try to beat me up. she followed me halfway home and then she tried to make her move. i started swinging wildly at her and i think i got her a couple of times and then she gave up and took off. i ran all the way home and told my mom what happened. well what do you know, i get called into the office the next day and my mom shows up. i had to fight to not get suspended for self defense, and it worked. i got to stay in school, and then i found out later that the bitch was now afraid of me. it felt good for a few weeks.

high school was alot better, i came out of my shell, joined the drama club, ended up being one of the best directors and actors in school. that was the best time of my life.

its weird, but i want to move back to where i grew up. i hope it can bring some closure of what i went thru back then.

 

[madonna's child]

Except for a few isolated incidents, I was basically left along. But, then, I've always tried hard to isolate myself from situtations, so that might be why.

 

[Giant Lemon]

Except for a few isolated incidents, I was basically left alone.

There are a couple times in junior high when I can remember the popular people being mean to me or my friends, but mostly I was left alone.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

same here sis

It was a mixed bag. In elementary I was teased a lot, mostly for being tall and a little bit overweight. I also was the only kid on my block, so while everyone knew each other from their neighborhoods, I didn't know anyone so therefore was forced to entertain myself a lot afterschool. In middle school I was completely alone, save for one girl who I ate lunch with. In high school I broke out of my shy shell, and had lots of good friends and aquaintances.


I guess that explains a lot of my solidary personality, and how I'm not really bugged being alone for long periods of time. But now I have good friends and am so glad to have all that crappy school stuff behind me.

 

[Discoteque]

Ahh, Mrs. Edge....now I see. Isn't it funny how childhood traumas leave lasting scars? I'll take sticks & stones any day...it's the names that DO hurt. Tho I was a total tomboy in gradeschool and definitely did bully some kids (one boy in particular, ouch) I was actually very shy, kind of a wallflower all thru my growing up years. But I SOOO wanted to be cool, to fit in, to be one of the "in" crowd, but I was just not smart enough, hip enough, *whatever* enough to be one of them. I remember being picked on in school particularly by a couple of girls (my name happens to rhyme with a lot of unbecoming words ) who I really held a major grudge against until fairly recently, when I discovered that one of them is now gay; and at my last H.S. reunion, the other girl, who I seriously hated for years (but now didn't recognize), came up to me to say hi, and told me she was a stay at home mom with a disabled child. Which then made me feel *this tall* that I harbored a grudge toward her for so many years. But their teasing and taunting really did haunt me for years.

I also went thru a "dammit, I'll show em!" season in H.S. because I *lucked out and* became a cheerleader to try to become popular, only to ironically discover that I couldn't stand any of the other girls on the squad, for that very reason! They were all stuck up and snotty....but they were popular. Go figure. Talk about an interesting learning experience.

 

[Angela Harlem]

Kids are cruel. I look back at some of the kids I used to know and wonder what they are like now, whether it grew into anything more serious or if they were just being typical schnitzels and they outgrew it. In primary school (age 5-11, dont know what the American equivalent is) the worst was probably taunts about my sister. "Why is she black?" "Is she burnt?" "Why is she different?" I was an exceptionally small kid, I looked about 3 years younger than everyone else and have, thanks to my dad, the whitest skin possible. I almost glow in the dark I am so pale. So my sister and I always looked like poster kids for a 'United Colours of Benetton' ad. So I guess they were curious, and being nasty as kids tend to be, they thought it was a good target. We grew up in a small town and there wasn't a great deal of ethnic diversity in those days. One thing I am terribly grateful for was that I never saw my sister cop too much of it. Nothing noble about it, I just think its better for me to be called a freak than for her to experience something that can be construed as racism.

High School was a lot better in that regard, obviously being around 1600 or so students meant we blended in a lot better, there were more different backgrounds so no one took any notice. I guess personally I was no different to a lot of people, there were always the 'groups' and they had something nasty to say about all the other 'groups'. I dont think that was particularly abnormal though. Nasty teenage girls will be nasty teenage girls.

 

[nbcrusader]

I probably would have been picked on more if I did not stand a few inches taller than most of my classmates

 

[Saracene]

I was bullied a lot in the kindergarden. The kids there were absolute little monsters, especially the girls. I think that about the only thing that saved me from bullying at school was the fact that I was a straight-A student; it's not wise to bully someone who you might want to help you out with the schoolwork the next day. Still, I was always painfully aware of not fitting in and it's only in the last year that I feel like I finally got rid of that baggage.

 

[daisybean]

I was picked on until about my freshman year of high school, when three smalls towns merged into one big school, so I kinda had a new start as it were.

Icelle, I completely know how you feel, even the some of my teachers were rude and contributed to the bullying with the kids. Stupid story time...I developed before any of the other girls in my class, so this one little "popular" girl started a rumor that I stuffed my bra. Looking back on it now it was really , however when you're 13 and akward, it just made it that much worse. So for some reason the teachers thought it would be a good idea to contibute to and encourage the teasing about my chest. They even made kleenex and stuffing references in the 8th grade yearbook, the teachers allowed this! I even went to the principal to complain about the teachers doing this, and he told me to basically chill and that the teachers were just joking and I should have a sense of humor.

 

[Bonochick]

I was picked on horribly...it was one of the reasons I was so depressed all the time. Everybody made fun of me for being ugly. Sometimes, even just the bus ride to school was too much for me...I'd already be crying from nasty names, being spit on, having stuff thrown at me, or having gum stuck to me. As soon as I'd get off the bus, I'd go to the school's office and tell them I was sick and needed to go home. If I did stay at school, there would be mean notes on my desk and my locker...people would write things on the board about me...they'd follow me around and just call me all kinds of names...it was awful. A guy got suspended from school my junior year because he was telling people he wanted to bring a gun to school so he could shoot me. I felt like a loser. They were only nice to me if they wanted to copy my homework...which I never let them...which just made things worse.

Sometimes, I do miss school because I did have a few good friends...I did have fun with them...but so many people just helped me to hate myself. It's a horrible feeling.

I really didn't start to feel more accepted until my senior year...I still had problems then though.

 

[bammo2]

I remember a couple of girls (I went to an all-girls school, hence it was mega-bitchy) tried to bully me for a bit. I think their only reason was that I was into metal music (aged 12 that was quite strange!) and I used to wear the metal type gear on non-uniform days (oh the shame - looking back! the bullet belt! the skin tight jeans!) Anyway, a couple of the girls called me names for a while - lots of names, nasty ones. But I just told them to fuck off, or ignored them. Then they tried stuff like pouring water down my neck, but I just turned round, stared at them and gave them the finger. Eventually they got bored and stopped, which I'm glad about, because it's one thing ignoring it, but if it gets really nasty it's pretty impossible to ignore, and that's when it becomes really distressing.

Oh, and the funny thing is, about a year after all this, all the 'bully girls' decided they were Goths and into Sisters of Mercy and stuff, and all wanted to be my friend cos I knew about the music, and therefore was suddenly 'cool'. I was just ahead of my time

 

[Spiral_Staircase]

Like Mr. Deep, I could probably answer yes to all three categories in the poll. I took some flack for always being the smallest kid, or for being "a brain", or for not having the cool clothes. It usually didn't really bothered me much, and I'm not sure why.

Anyway, I played the bully role, or at least went along with some bullies, every once in a while from about 3rd through 6th grade. In 3rd grade we called Laura Willman "Laura-ble the Horrible". Her only offence: she was smart (and we thought she was too aware of it). Someone should have punched me. In 4th grade, I can remember Michelle Tuzzo fell down during gym class and was crying (the teacher was out of the gym) and we ran by taunting her and making fun of her while she sat on the floor and sobbed. Seriously, someone should have punched me.

It's amazing how mean kids can be.

If any of you know Laura Willman (she moved to Corpus Cristi, TX after 4th grade) or Michelle Tuzzo (don't know where she went) or Wendy Schulke, please pass along my sincere apologies and regrets.

 

[diamond]

Mr. Deep used to tell me everyday while growing up that I was adopted and my parents found me in the garbage
He also used to call me "skinny-bones" everyday too.
I did not like this.
He doesnt call me names to my face anymore cuz I will konk him.

I used to take out my aggression on other kids because of this..but then I realized that was wrong.
Now I tend to protect ppl that are getting picked on.

diamond

 

[The_Sweetest_Thing]

My high school was so cliqu-ey, so obviously, if you weren't involved with 'those people,' you were made fun of. Who cared though? The bullies were a smaller group of rude people that no one like anyway...

I was sort of bullied between grades 5-7, when I started a new school. At first some mean girls made fun of the way I walked (turned out, like a dancer). Then they made fun of me because I was really smart and got good grades--the teachers liked me. In grade 6 they left me alone. In grade 7 I must have said something to one of them that pissed them off b/c she held up a pair of scissors and said, "See these? These are going to go through your hair. And this? (holding up a pen) is going to go through your neck." The teacher overheard, she got suspended for threatening. They were pissed after that.

All in all, I never took it seriously. I had my group of friends...I was never one who cared what the crowd thought anyway. Besides, I spoke my mind, so I was always able to stick up for myself.

 

[FallingStar]

I can't vote in this poll.

I was bullied for 7 years in a row (without counting the kindergarten, but I was bullied there too), then I started bullying the ones who bullied me back then, now I am sort of neutral - I don't bully anyone, but no one who is rude to me nowadays does it once again.

 

[joyfulgirl]

I should have been bullied, being nerdy & smart, and a minority in a predominantly black rural area, but I learned young how to fit in so as not to get bullied. I went out of my way to suck up to the potential bulliers by making them laugh and by making fun of myself before they could. I don't know where I learned that to be honest, but it saved my butt on the school bus and in gym class big time. I actually had the bulliers looking out for me and could even convince them not to bully others. I'm not nearly as savvy today as I was as a kid!

 

[Kristie]

I... can't really vote in this. I did get bullied, I didn't do any serious bullying, but it wasn't bad enough that my life was a living hell persay.... I think junior high sucks for EVERYONE. I seriously can't remember most of it. About once a year all my friends I spent the whole year making all decided they hated me... so now I have a "all my friends're gonna leave me" complex that I know is bullshit but I'm still scared of it. These days I'm even good friends with those who left me earlier...
Anyway. Life was grand up until about age 11 where I got fat. The only one that taunted me about that was my brother. Theenn at about 14 I went to Jenny Craig (seriously, if you have the money for it, that place is GREAT) and lost 56 pounds, enter high school. Had no friends freshman year except those I had in primary school (we all got split up in junior high) but I did join the marching band and I will tell you something... that saved my life.
Even if you're not friends with a fellow band nerd, if you're in a bind almost all of them will stick up for you, since we all got bullied as a group by the rest of the school. It was a 300 member band in a 3000 student school... anyway, so high school was all right. There's always a few girls whose function in life is to make nasty comments. They didn't bother me.
[/story of my life]

 

[Mrs. Edge]

Wow...some of these stories are so sad!!

And it is the WORST when the teachers join in. Talk about betrayal!

I remember we were in gym class climbing these monkey bars...I begged the teacher to help me down because I was going to fall. She refused, I fell, and broke my leg. Another time I had scarlett fever and shortly after I was recuperating, I had my birthday party. Only a few people I invited showed up because this same teacher told everyone I was contageous, which I wasn't, and not to go. She was horrible! (and a cheek pincher!)

Hopefully this thread will be cathartic for people. Thanks for sharing all these stories so far.

 

[FishNeedsABicycle]

I was never really bullied...I seem to have the kind of personality that can make friends with just about anyone, and I tend not to take shit off of anyone...well I mean I do...but it just doesn't affect me...*shrug*

I was ignored for a while in highschool when I switched schools in 10th grade, everyone at my new school thought I was a Narc...LMAO...

Ok and you know that guy in each highschool who everyone is afraid of or respects and doesn't mess with(they normally turn out to be sweethearts once you get to know them) ...yeah well I helped that guy pass English in 10th grade so after that I kind of had my own secret service...LMAO...and the Narc thing just faded away...

 

[Sparkysgrrrl]

I'd already be crying from nasty names, being spit on, having stuff thrown at me, or having gum stuck to me

I hated the spitting...I had thick hair and half the time I wouldn't realize there was anything there till I'd already put my hand in it

I was picked on from the moment I entered school to the moment I left. Any number of reasons...the way I looked, dressed, was too smart, or too dumb, was friends with a wide range of races, and sexual orientations, was into social issues and not Tom Cruise lol I hated school so badly I sometimes am amazed I got out of there alive.
And I only had 2 teachers who were ever supportive, the teachers all hated me too. I had this one evil fucking bitch...it was for a business class, we went on a lot of field trips to learn about how to run things, and were supposed to "dress up" for them. I didn't have many clothes, all jeans and t-shirts, and one pair of shoes, Chuck Taylors and I tried to explain to the teacher that we didn't have any money for me to be buying new clothes just to go to some cardboard factory for a few hours, but I'd wear my newest pants and a plain shirt and clean up my shoes real good. Well...this fucking evil bitch just laughed at me and didn't believe that I only owned one pair of shoes ("What kind of girl dosen't have nice dress shoes?" )
So I told me mom what happed and we had to go to a thrift store and try to find me a nice shirt, and I had to wear my mon's penny loafers wich were like 2 sizes too small.
Got to school the day of the trip and the teacher flipped out "oh my god! you can't wear that!" (I had on black jeans, and a white 'normal' looking shirt) So she took me to the dreaded closet where they keep clothing foe students who mess themselves or whatever and was making me try on nasty dirty clohtes...I was so mad at her, I started to cry because I wanted to punch her so badly (she was a foot shorter than me and weighed about 2 pounds, I could have easliy taken her) She finally found some gross gross button up shirt for me to wear over my other shirt and I felt so stupid and humiliated.

Then one of her favorite students, one if the preppy girls came in wearing basically the same thing I had on, black jeans, white shirt, loafers and she didn't say a word! The stupid bitch tortured me all year...she should never been allowed a teaching job. Then a few months later when I did have a dress (for band class outings) she patted me on the head like a fucking dog and said "good girl"

I saw her in a grocery store a few years after graduation and she looked hideous. Had gained a lot of weight and looked like an old hag.
Fucking bitch.

 

[BAW]

I was bullied pretty badly by other girls from 6th through 8th grade...I was teased for being poor and not wearing the right clothes, my hair was too curly, I was called ugly, had spit balls thrown at me....all the nice things kids do to each other. I got beat up a few times, for no reason other than I was different. And girls are vicious when it comes to these kinds of things.

One girl in particular noticed that I only had a couple pairs of jeans that I would have to wear over and over again ...every day in class she would start singing the song from the TV commercial for the jeans I had on and pretty soon everyone was singing it and laughing at me. I changed schools constantly too so I was a pretty easy target.

Once I was in 10th and 11th grade, it pretty much stopped and luckily I didn't become a bully because of it. I made it a point to not give the "popular girls" the time of day and went out of my way to be friends with anyone else being bullied. I'm still that way today...I hate seeing anyone called names or being picked on. And I couldn't stand up for myself back then but I'm not shy about doing it today.