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Old 12-07-2001, 07:14 PM   #1
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Because he's a Man...

Because I'm a man, when I lock my keys in the car I will fiddle with a wire clothes hanger and ignore your suggestions that we call a road service until long after hypothermia has set in.
Because I'm a man, when the car isn't running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I'm looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start." We will then drink beer.

Because I'm a man, when I catch a cold I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You never get as sick as I do, so for you this isn't an issue.

Because I'm a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "Cumin" or "Tofu". For all I know these are the same thing. And never, under any circumstances, expect me to pick up anything for which "feminine hygiene product" is a euphemism.

Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.

Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator).

Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either sex, racing, or football, though I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't.

Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for mother's day is okay, I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my Mom too!!

Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.

Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?

Because I'm a man,, and this is, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the gardening, the cleaning, and the dishes. I'll do the rest.

"If he gets up...we'll all get up...It'll be anarchy!!"

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Old 12-07-2001, 07:24 PM   #2
I Serve Larry's Stick
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"It's all about drums."

"What's with all the glitter? I thought you didn't like our mirrorball lemon and shit. Well it's too late to change your mind now." -- Bono, Indianapolis, May 10, 2001

"Tonight with us, we have people who turned celebrity on its head. Celebrities are supposed to be somebody special, film stars, rock stars, we're celebrities. Supposed to be heroes, but we're not heroes. We're very selfish people who enjoy what they do, thank you very much. But here tonight we have from the fire department of New York City, from the police department of New York City, men and women that came down to catch the U2 show tonight. Theirs is the kind of bravery that can truly change the world." --Bono, Notre Dame, October 10, 2001

Whether you love me or hate me you can still email me:

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Old 12-07-2001, 08:27 PM   #3
ONE<br>love, blood, life
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Hehehe, forwarded this to some friends... thanks!

One love, one life...
Give peace a chance!
Don't let the bastards grind you down!

BONO: I think you pull it.
BONO: Or push it.
BONO: Just....feckiní twist it, I guess. I don't know. I WANT MORE!!
HIPPYACTRESS: *passes out*
BONO: NURSE!!! *rings bell* I did it again!
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Old 12-08-2001, 03:22 AM   #4
Rock n' Roll Doggie
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And I *wonder* why I'm still happily single.

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Old 12-08-2001, 03:54 AM   #5
Jesus Online
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Its funny how its not 'funny' cos its true!


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Old 12-09-2001, 04:29 PM   #6
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Lol @ Discotheque's smilie!!!!!

Look...look what you've done to me...You've made me poor and infamous, and I thank you...

My name is MISS MACPHISTO...I'm tired and i want to go HOME...

"Well you tell...Bonovista,that i said hello and that my codename is Belleview" - Bono before opening night of Anaheim Elevation concert

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