Ask Lord Vader

[Darth Vader]

Admiral Piet. What a pussy.

I think "pansy" is more appropriate.

 

[Darth Vader]

Was the TIE Vanguard a worthwhile pilot project for the TIE Interceptor, or just a money pit. Don't you think the TIE Advanced design could have been pushed ahead into Interceptor configuration a lot faster?

Are you ever annoyed by the logistical problems plaguing the Empire's distribution system?

Darth, you've had some pretty coy 'fatal weaknesses' built into your superweapons. Tell us, what's ahead for the Dark Lord?

Yes.

 

[Darth Vader]

Now, I know you're a pilot at heart, Mr. Vader. What's your preferred Engines/Lasers/Shields power distrobution when in a snubfighter? I know the usual TIE Advanced only has two laser cannons to worry about, so do you like to divert a lot to the weapons to keep them ready to go?

I know that a lot of Dark Lords favour the improved speed that increased engine power can provide.

Also, have you ever sussed out the pros and cons of a cloaking device?

You don't like me, do you?

 

[U2Kitten]

Didn't you see The Empire Strikes Back? He found out the same time I did... I think.

No you already knew and were hiding it from him. At the beginning of the movie, you were already looking for 'young Skywalker' and said "The rebels are there, and Skywalker is with them!" It's the reason you attacked the Hoth base, remember? You knew, but you didn't want Palps to find out, because there can only be two Sith Lords and one of you three would have to go. He'd want to use Luke to get rid of you and you wanted to use Luke to, in your own words "Rule the galaxy as father and son!" Palps wanted Luke killed, but you said 'if he could be turned he'd be a great asset' so he wouldn't have him killed until you found him. You were smart to do that, and wise to not let the Emperor use the force to probe your mind.

 

[U2Kitten]

Ah, a common misconception... I actually don't need the cybernetic suit to live, just for work. On my off days, I wear my red velvet pimp suit.

 

[easytiger]

pimp suits

 

[Darth Vader]

Why did it take you so long to figure out you had a daughter? After all, you did have lunch with her on Bespin.

The Dark Side clouds everything, especially when you've spent 20 years believing you killed your wife and unborn child, then learning you're actually the father of twins and that your former best friend hid and separated them.

In short, it was Obi-Wan's fault. Again.

 

[Darth Vader]

Why did you offer to turn Luke to the dark side when it would mean the Emperor would have to kill you (since there can only be two Sith)?

I was planning on chucking Palpy if Luke turned

 

[Darth Vader]

No you already knew and were hiding it from him. At the beginning of the movie, you were already looking for 'young Skywalker' and said "The rebels are there, and Skywalker is with them!" It's the reason you attacked the Hoth base, remember? You knew, but you didn't want Palps to find out, because there can only be two Sith Lords and one of you three would have to go. He'd want to use Luke to get rid of you and you wanted to use Luke to, in your own words "Rule the galaxy as father and son!" Palps wanted Luke killed, but you said 'if he could be turned he'd be a great asset' so he wouldn't have him killed until you found him. You were smart to do that, and wise to not let the Emperor use the force to probe your mind.

George Lucas has fucked with these movies so much that even I can't remember important plot twists.

But essentially, you answered your own question: both of us were trying to one-up each other by getting Lukey to turn, but for different reasons: I wanted to get him into the family business, Palpy wanted a fresh young Skywalker to corrupt and go on shopping trips with.

 

[Darth Vader]

pimp suits

Ladies certainly love the pimp suit

 

[mdw3935]

In short, it was Obi-Wan's fault. Again.

You seem to always be blaming Obi-Wan for everything. I think you were jealous of him because he had that hot accent and you didn't.

Why didn't you just listen to Mace when he told you to stay away while he went to arresst Palpy? Then you showed up and helped Palpy kill him.

Do you think you could beat Yoda in a fight?

And finally the all most important question, which came first the chicken or the egg?

PS: Would have loved to see ya in that pimp suit!!

 

[Darth Vader]

You seem to always be blaming Obi-Wan for everything. I think you were jealous of him because he had that hot accent and you didn't.

What is with you people always defending him? Besides, he died a virgin.

Why didn't you just listen to Mace when he told you to stay away while he went to arresst Palpy? Then you showed up and helped Palpy kill him.

You know that part when Mace said he didn't trust me? Guess what, I didn't trust him either.

Do you think you could beat Yoda in a fight?

Yoda couldn't beat Count Dooku, let alone Darth Hideous... and I eventually pwned both of them and the entire Jedi Order.

And finally the all most important question, which came first the chicken or the egg?

And no matter what he tells you, Palpy doesn't know either.

PS: Would have loved to see ya in that pimp suit!!

You thought you could redeem yourself there at the end, didn't you?

Well, you thought right

 

[Utoo]

George Lucas has fucked with these movies so much that even I can't remember important plot twists.

Do you think Obi-Wan was nailing Padme on the side? I expected that to come up & play into your descent into the Dark Side, but it never did.....

 

[Utoo]

Has Yoda ever entered a midget-tossing contest?

 

[Dulce de Leche]

5 stars

 

[Bonofire]

Do you ever take girls back to your hyperbaric chamber?

"Yes, my master, I submit myself to you, my master!"

 

[ZeroDude]

Dear Doctor Vader, have you ever considered purchasing an Oasis album at any point in your life? If so would you think it reasonable if Liam Gallagher was to remake the entire Star Wars saga with a more conservative budget?

Oscar Wilde or Steve Vai?

(I’m starting to think that Lord Vader isn’t what he claimed to be
James Earl Jones with a PHD, justifying rap and false alimony.)

 

[Darth Vader]

Do you think Obi-Wan was nailing Padme on the side? I expected that to come up & play into your descent into the Dark Side, but it never did.....

Are you saying Obi-Wan actually got some sweet ass, let alone from my wife?

Let it be known that Obi-Wan and sex should never be brought up as a topic of conversation. EVER.

He died a virgin, anyway.

 

[Darth Vader]

Has Yoda ever entered a midget-tossing contest?

Now THAT is an idea...

 

[Darth Vader]

5 stars

Seriously.

 

[ZeroDude]

Will you ever get round to playing “Freebird”?

Did you throw Dave Mustaine out of Metallica?

 

[Darth Vader]

Do you ever take girls back to your hyperbaric chamber?

"Yes, my master, I submit myself to you, my master!"

Why, are you interested?

 

[Darth Vader]

Dear Doctor Vader, have you ever considered purchasing an Oasis album at any point in your life? If so would you think it reasonable if Liam Gallagher was to remake the entire Star Wars saga with a more conservative budget?

No, but what the hell is a "wonderwall"?

Liam Gallagher is a bigger pansy than Admiral Piett.

Oscar Wilde or Steve Vai?

Darth Plagueis.

(I’m starting to think that Lord Vader isn’t what he claimed to be
James Earl Jones with a PHD, justifying rap and false alimony.)

 

[Darth Vader]

Will you ever get round to playing “Freebird”?

Yes, I take requests, as long as I get something out of it.

Did you throw Dave Mustaine out of Metallica?

No, he threw Metallica out of him. He was too good for them anyway... but then even Jar Jar Binks would be too good for Metallica.

 

[ZeroDude]

^
Megadeth man eh?

No, but the hell is a "wonderwall"?

Surely with your heightened perceptive capabilities you would know.

 

[Darth Vader]

Megadeth man eh?

Surely with your heightened perceptive capabilities you would know.

I suppose.

But seriously, what is it?

 

[Darth Vader]

Well, answering everyone's questions has been great fun today

But I'm a little tired and hungry, I think go some dinner and a movie... but I'll be back for you all soon!

 

[ZeroDude]

I suppose.

But seriously, what is it?

It’s a wall that one sits in front of to aid procrastination.

The line “She’s my wonderwall” merely suggests that she inspires thought.

 

[mdw3935]

You thought you could redeem yourself there at the end, didn't you?

Well, you thought right

Who knew you were such a flirt.
You couldn't tell by all the evil things you have done in the past.

Have you ever thought about wearing another color besides black? I think you should try the color red to match your lightsaber.

 

[nbcrusader]

You suit looks perfect as formal attire. What do you wear when kicking back on your Star Destroyer, or vacationing on Mustafar?