As Much as I Love the Chuck Norris Facts... - U2 Feedback

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Old 06-14-2006, 10:23 PM   #1
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As Much as I Love the Chuck Norris Facts...

The Jack Bauer facts are pretty damn funny as well.

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.

those are my favorites.

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Old 06-15-2006, 10:43 AM   #2
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I don't watch 24, but I found those pretty damn funny.

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Old 06-15-2006, 10:58 AM   #3
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I can't decide which I prefer, the Norris, or the Bauer ones.... Bauer may have the slight edge, since he's still very relevant.
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Old 06-15-2006, 12:04 PM   #4
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Jack Bauer rocks.

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Old 06-15-2006, 12:30 PM   #5
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these are great. but chuck norris is just an easier target and easy to laugh at.
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Old 06-15-2006, 12:59 PM   #6
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Our new favorite addiction: Jack "Efen" Bauer!

Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first.
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Old 06-15-2006, 01:10 PM   #7
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If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball

When Chuck Norris files his taxes, he sends in a blank return and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes. This year, however, the IRS sent him back a picture of Jack Bauer wearing his dark sunglasses. The next day, Chuck Norris pled guilty to multiple counts of tax evasion.

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Old 06-15-2006, 01:43 PM   #8
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OMG! That's hilarious.

This one is my favorite: "If Jack Bauer were gay, he'd be Chuck Norris"
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Old 06-15-2006, 01:49 PM   #9
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Meh. Chuck Norris facts stopped being funny after 15 minutes.

Now they internet is ruining Jack Bauer
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Old 06-17-2006, 05:24 AM   #10
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I have never laughed so much in my life!
Here lies a signature where once upon a time upcoming gigs were stored.
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Old 06-17-2006, 10:49 AM   #11
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Mr. BAW's fellow alumni, 3 familiar names and faces...
Saxon Hall of Fame
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Old 06-19-2006, 07:28 PM   #12
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those facts are funny as hell!

loved the last one about the chicken and the beef
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Old 06-19-2006, 07:49 PM   #13
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Old 06-19-2006, 10:12 PM   #14
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Old 06-19-2006, 11:41 PM   #15
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that Jack Bauer gay = Chuck is just plani wrong...

we won't see Angel_of_LA around here anymore... he/she must've recieved a roundhouse kick to the brain, and his/her's unborned son's brains

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