As Much as I Love the Chuck Norris Facts...

[LMP]

The Jack Bauer facts are pretty damn funny as well.

http://www.notrly.com/jackbauer/index.php?topthirty

The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

If Jack Bauer was in a room with Hitler, Stalin, and Nina Meyers, and he had a gun with 2 bullets, he'd shoot Nina twice.

Jack Bauer doesn't need to eat, sleep, or use the bathroom because his organs are afraid of making him angry.

If everyone on "24" followed Jack Bauer's instructions, it would be called "12".

Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

If you wake up in the morning, it's because Jack Bauer spared your life.

1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef. Then it's fucking beef.



those are my favorites.

 

[UberBeaver]

I don't watch 24, but I found those pretty damn funny.

 

[The Disciple]

I can't decide which I prefer, the Norris, or the Bauer ones.... Bauer may have the slight edge, since he's still very relevant.

 

[diamond]

Jack Bauer rocks.

dbs

 

[Numb1075]

these are great. but chuck norris is just an easier target and easy to laugh at.

 

[nbcrusader]

Our new favorite addiction: Jack "Efen" Bauer!




Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first.

 

[waynetravis]

If Jack Bauer's gun jams, it's because he wanted to beat you with it.

Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

Jack Bauer set an ordinary flash memory card to self-destruct. Don't ask how he did it, he's fucking Jack Bauer.

Jack Bauer once killed so many terrorists that at one point, the #5 CIA Most Wanted fugitive was an 18-year-old teenager in Malaysia who downloaded the movie Dodgeball

When Chuck Norris files his taxes, he sends in a blank return and a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has never had to pay taxes. This year, however, the IRS sent him back a picture of Jack Bauer wearing his dark sunglasses. The next day, Chuck Norris pled guilty to multiple counts of tax evasion.

!!

 

[angel_of_L.A.]

OMG! That's hilarious.

This one is my favorite: "If Jack Bauer were gay, he'd be Chuck Norris"

 

[Queen Bee]

Meh. Chuck Norris facts stopped being funny after 15 minutes.

Now they internet is ruining Jack Bauer

 

[bono_man2002]

I have never laughed so much in my life!

 

[Mr. BAW]

Mr. BAW's fellow alumni, 3 familiar names and faces...

http://www.nths-saxonalumni.org/halloffame/index.php
Saxon Hall of Fame

 

[1stepcloser]

those facts are funny as hell!

loved the last one about the chicken and the beef

 

[BVS]

 

[sami0201]

 

[pepokiss]

that Jack Bauer gay = Chuck is just plani wrong...



we won't see Angel_of_LA around here anymore... he/she must've recieved a roundhouse kick to the brain, and his/her's unborned son's brains

 

[pepokiss]

we're just on the 5th season, and today we found out that it was LOGAN behind this ALL THE TIME


Jack

 

[pepokiss]

I have another one form chuck, related to Jack


"There's a new series in the works.... '25', staring Chuck Norris"

 

[Mr. BAW]

for you buff's, a piece of history...

http://cgi.ebay.com/1958-North-Torr...579QQihZ013QQcategoryZ378QQrdZ1QQcmdZViewItem

 

[LMP]

that's amazing, but we all know it's false.

Chuck Norris was born in Babylonia in 3000 BC.

 

[LarryMullen's POPAngel]

Just started watching 24 this summer and these are killing me.

 

[phillyfan26]

Found this today:

"Jack Bauer helped U2 find what they were looking for."

 

[LMP]

Just started watching 24 this summer and these are killing me.

 

[mdw3935]

^^^^^^I don't know why I find that funny. It must be the face she is making after being shot in the leg.

It goes to show you, don't mess with Jack!!