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Old 06-17-2003, 09:40 AM   #1
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Are you strung up by the eyelids? Are you fresh? Ask the Agony Ant!

Have you got a gripe, an axe to grind, a hatchet to bury (in someone's back), a point to prove?

An itch to scratch?

Are you anxious?

Then you need to ask the Agony Ant, your very own 24-7 advice columnist on demand! Go on, it's all strictly confidential!! It's fun for the whole family!
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Old 06-17-2003, 09:49 AM   #2
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you're from Torquay?

do you know a Basil Fawlty?
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Old 06-17-2003, 10:11 AM   #3
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Dear Ant O' the Agony,

I have a problem that no one thus far has been able to help me with. You see, I am truly madly deeply in love with my ex boss. He doesn't make it easy for me though. I feel he is out to sabotage every attempt I make to make him the happiest man on earth. He even went so far as to sack me from my workplace, claiming harrassment. How can it be harrassment when we are meant to be together? I sent him daily emails, reaffirming my love for him, and he never once said a thankyou for it. I even had to resort to including everyone in the office on the emails, so he would see I was genuine. He didn't see. I tried stopping his wife calling the office by running to answer his phone, telling her that he was going to leave her one day and that she should stop calling him so he could do his work. He was a very busy man, you know. At times, I even had to raise my voice so she would hear me clearly, she always got very irate at me and said many nasty things. She was highly irrational over the whole thing. Some people just can't accept such things I think. But she is not my problem. Not now anyway, as she is buried in my backyard.
I'm finding it increasingly difficult to even talk to him lately, as the conditions of the restraining order stipulate that I cannot go within 50 metres of him. I have to stand quite far from his front door now to even get his attention. I feel his neighbours support me though, they come outside often and yell at us to work it out. They're a nice bunch of people. He has finally given up on changing his phone number, which is handy. I make the effort to call when he is not there so I can leave messages on his answering machine. At least now some of what I am saying is getting through.
So while fate has put many obstacles in my path, I am working to overcome these, but remains the problem of getting him to see things from my point of view.
Please help me, Dear Ant.

Signed,
Crazy in Cooktown
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Old 06-17-2003, 10:29 AM   #4
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Old 06-17-2003, 10:48 AM   #5
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agony ant is gonna have his hands full with crazy in cooktown.
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Old 06-17-2003, 12:14 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
Dear Ant O' the Agony,

I have a problem that no one thus far has been able to help me with. You see, I am truly madly deeply in love with my ex boss. He doesn't make it easy for me though. I feel he is out to sabotage every attempt I make to make him the happiest man on earth. He even went so far as to sack me from my workplace, claiming harrassment. How can it be harrassment when we are meant to be together? I sent him daily emails, reaffirming my love for him, and he never once said a thankyou for it. I even had to resort to including everyone in the office on the emails, so he would see I was genuine. He didn't see. I tried stopping his wife calling the office by running to answer his phone, telling her that he was going to leave her one day and that she should stop calling him so he could do his work. He was a very busy man, you know. At times, I even had to raise my voice so she would hear me clearly, she always got very irate at me and said many nasty things. She was highly irrational over the whole thing. Some people just can't accept such things I think. But she is not my problem. Not now anyway, as she is buried in my backyard.
I'm finding it increasingly difficult to even talk to him lately, as the conditions of the restraining order stipulate that I cannot go within 50 metres of him. I have to stand quite far from his front door now to even get his attention. I feel his neighbours support me though, they come outside often and yell at us to work it out. They're a nice bunch of people. He has finally given up on changing his phone number, which is handy. I make the effort to call when he is not there so I can leave messages on his answering machine. At least now some of what I am saying is getting through.
So while fate has put many obstacles in my path, I am working to overcome these, but remains the problem of getting him to see things from my point of view.
Please help me, Dear Ant.

Signed,
Crazy in Cooktown





BEAUTIFUL.
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Old 06-17-2003, 12:40 PM   #7
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Man you picked the wrong group of people to offer advice to. Let me know if you need an assistant.
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:11 PM   #8
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Dear Crazy in Cooktown, if I may for a moment take the role of your dog Harvey: "the crux of the biscuit is the apostrophe".

Clearly your former boss must now see the error of his ways, much as the former Soviet states crumbled under the weight of history. As Edward the Duke of Windsor once said: "I could have been king but now I just live in the south of France". As Franklin D Roosevelt may have pondered, we have nothing to fear except death, life and everything else. You and I both know that your former boss has no choice but to submit to your attentions.
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:28 PM   #9
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dear agony ant,

today my dog (hes doberman, for the record) asked me the meaning of life. i stumbled with the question, and attempted to scald him with boiling water to end the uneasy moment. unfortunately, he in response bit my left arm off by the elbow, and the two of us arent talking anymore. so i ask you these questions two.

1) what is the meaning of life?

2) how can i win back the friendship of my dog?

~Concerned in Canada
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:31 PM   #10
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can i now call you nub?........
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:38 PM   #11
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nub?
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:40 PM   #12
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no
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:42 PM   #13
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nub



nub

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Old 06-17-2003, 11:46 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ali Rose


nub



nub

well , I honestly never saw that coming...

anyway, where is that damned ant...Im a sucker for a good doberman discipline story.....(sure hope they make up)

*crosses fingers
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Old 06-17-2003, 11:55 PM   #15
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The lemonade stand is especialy entertaining tonight.

Perhaps that has to do with the fact that I'm deathly ill, drugged up and high as a kite.

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