Anus Superthread

[Dalton]

goatse also seems appropriate for this thread.

Those are a suitcases, right?

 

[Dalton]

You killed the thread with your dirty mouth.

 

[phillyfan26]

You killed the thread with being so scorn-worthy, you douche bag.

 

[Dalton]

Pfan, I hate to bring this up so close to Easter, but you were an accident. You see your mom, dad, and I were at this "Spin the Wife" party and things got out of control.

This will be hard for you to understand but, I am your father.

So, there's that.

 

[phillyfan26]

Dalton, you do know that I am seventeen, so you would have been eleven around the time I was conceived.

 

[Varitek]

D stands for Darth Vader

 

[Dalton]

Dalton, you do know that I am seventeen, so you would have been eleven around the time I was conceived.

Your mom's a freaky one ...

 

[Varitek]

Dalton got an early start.

 

[Dalton]

Dalton got an early start.

By 8th grade, half the people in my school were calling me "The Farmer", the other half were calling my "dad".

 

[phillyfan26]

Dalton got an early start.

It's a shame he never went to college, isn't it?

 

[Dalton]

It's a shame he never went to college, isn't it?

Shame? Can you imagine how many children I would have if would have lived on a college campus? China shudders to imagine it.

 

[Dalton]

Actually the Chinese pay me to stop impregnating women.

 

[Varitek]

Shame? Can you imagine how many children I would have if would have lived on a college campus? China shudders to imagine it.

 

[Dalton]

You think casper the ghost could stop me?

 

[phillyfan26]

You think casper the ghost could stop me?

Shame you never had sex ed classes.

 

[Dalton]

Shame you never had sex ed classes.

I did have sex ed, but I couldn't concentrate after they told me girls would put it in their mouths.

 

[Varitek]

Shame you never had sex ed classes.

dalton = owned

 

[Varitek]

I did have sex ed, but I couldn't concentrate after they told me girls would put it in their mouths.

it has been over a week since i've had sex. stop torturing me.

and, dinner time. vegan takeover in the dining hall.

luckily i have leftover pizza for after the vegan food phails.

 

[Dalton]

it has been over a week since i've had sex. stop torturing me.

Really? You want to hear about my morning?

 

[phillyfan26]

it has been over a week since i've had sex. stop torturing me.

 

[Dalton]

Best.Response.Ever.

 

[redhotswami]

Really? You want to hear about my morning?

oh do tell. oversharing hasn't happened all day.

 

[Varitek]

hey, i'm accostomed to a certain pace of life.

 

[phillyfan26]

hey, i'm accostomed to a certain pace of life.

Sadly, so am I.

 

[Dalton]

Pfan, if it makes you feel any better sometimes the 5 knuckle shuffle is more convenient.

 

[phillyfan26]

Dondé esta oversharing, Dalton?

 

[redhotswami]

 

[Dalton]

Come on folks. Its one thing to overshare about a fling. This is my wife we are talking about.

 

[phillyfan26]

You brought it up, Swayze.

 

[Dalton]

You brought it up, Swayze.

And notice the person I joked with didn't even respond. She knows ....


Or she's afraid I would.