an open letter to elvis

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dear elvis,

long time no speak. its been a while, where should we begin? it feels like forever.

allow me to fill you in with some of the more important details of my life.

last month, i went in for surgery to remove a tumor from chest that was deemed non-cancerous, but was best removed before something goshdarn silly could occur. the surgeon and nurses were delightful, at night i thought about sending them flowers, brownies and some special sauce.

i completed the novel '1984' in one week, two weeks ago, dear elvis. compelling, thought-provoking and at times earth shattering in its depiction of a future totaltariatariarain society. since my reading reached its conclussion, i have spent several hours replacing the main carachter of the book with i, and his love interest with you. dont worry, im not hitting on you, im just saying i replaced him with me and her with you.

have you ever thought about being in the same novel as i, dear elvis? i once read a book called 1984, and after its completion i spent a great deal of time imagining i was the main carachter and you were my love interest. have you ever thought about being in the same novel as me?

my baseball season came to a close on sunday, dear elvis. we were bumped out of the playoffs 3 games to 1. in the one game we won, dear elvis, i had three base hits! super! unfortunately, the season was not a memorable one, neither was last year. but as i walk away from the sport (im too old to play junior next year, elvis), i have lots of great memories to take with me as i walk through the valleys of my life.

i still dont have a girlfriend yet, elvis. i know weve talked extensively about this, and yes elvis, your input was appreciated. your advice rang true in my mind to be more assertive with potential love interests, but for some reason my luck has yet to change. i was in a bar a few weeks ago, and i approached a woman who appeared to be about my age and was dressed spectacularly in pink and blue. as our eyes met for the first time, i told her she was everything i ever needed, and that for her love i would look after her every need. that same night we made love six times, and afterwards, i asked for her name. we met once or twice more, made sweet love, but it just didnt satisfy me. im a man who needs not love maketh, but love in its entirety. i want to get married, im tired of these games, elvis.

roughly a year ago i met a couple in the south of france where we accompanied each other for a fine dinner in one of nice's finest restaurants.

ten times out of nine, you will find me on the outside looking in. elvis, i cant understand whats happening, i need help. the hospital refuses to admit me any more, and the morgue said i had to wait until i was dead. i just dont get it. i never asked to go these places, but friends keep relaying their messages to me. sometimes i feel unwanted.

wonderful news, elvis! its monday, meaning i dont have to work very hard. no sir, work is for the weak. haha, i bet you didnt see that one coming! haha!

well elvis, i just wanted to send you a letter - not a goshdarn rundown of my life! look at what ive done, im sorry about the mess.

listen, whenever you have the time, write me back. i wish you nothing but the best!

godspeed and good health!

sincerely yours,

~ted connors
 
It's amazing how many people have forgotten the real meaning of Big Brother. Most people think it's a reality TV show now. I drove past an amusement park the other day which had a large banner proclaiming themselves to be 'The Home of Big Brother' with a pair of creepy eyes underneath. That isn't exactly the best advertisement for an amusement park when you think about it. It gave me the creeps.


I would also like to extend a deep, heartfelt hello to dear elvis.
 
i read 1984 in the 1970s.


bear-
that was a cute lettter.
what position do u play?


DB9
 
Last edited:
ya, you probably would! :down:

calluna, i take it you enjoyed the book? you know what id like from you? id like you write a letter to elvis too, except make a new thread with it. only do it if you feel like it and have enough time on your hands yet.

same goes to kieran.

and to elvis presley.

and to anyone really.

share your life story with dear elvis! he loves you!
 
diamond said:
i read 1984 in the 1970s.


bear-
that was a cute lettter.
what position do u play?


DB9

second or shortstop.

i used to pitch. i used to be really good too, if i might be able to say so myself. then i lost it last year. and this year i hardly pitched at all.
 
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I would encourage you all to do the damn "dubya" with rotten dogs.
 
Well, neither of them look like they are enjoying whatever it is that they are doing....

Kinda reminds you of the statement "This is going to hurt me a lot more than it is going to hurt you."
 
Bear,

do you accept the fact that you are living in the year 2003, or do you prefer to pretend to be living in a different year, maybe even different era?

curious,
 
ouizy said:
Bear,

do you accept the fact that you are living in the year 2003, or do you prefer to pretend to be living in a different year, maybe even different era?

curious,

best question ever.

i dont like the new millenium. i hate change. i wish i was living in an older time in history, but with modern day benefits. :wink:

why?
 
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