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Old 02-07-2008, 11:56 AM   #211
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Old 02-07-2008, 01:02 PM   #212
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American Idol- “The Best of the Rest” Auditions

The final (finally!) night of auditions are here. And we’re being treated to the best the auditions had to offer in season 7. Of course, this doesn’t actually mean the best auditions. Nope, this is American Idol. The best of the rest also means the best of the trainwrecks.

One of the trainwrecks is Luke Reeder. He wears a T-shirt as big as a bed sheet and a very lame hat. His singing is even worse. Guess what? He’s not going to Hollywood.

And neither is Victor Villegas who sings...I have no idea.

Fortunately, Amy Davis is here. She sings “Blue Bayou.” Her vocals need work and she seems nervous. However, Amy shows potential and can improve in Hollywood. She gets a golden ticket.

Tiffany McCampbell tells us she honed her singing skills in the church choir. And though I appreciate her not dressing all hoochie, why is this young girl wearing a matronly mother-of-the-bride dress? Before her audition, Tiffany practices her scales. Eesh! I hope her actual singing isn’t as awful. When in front of the judges, Tiffany tells them that her voice is a “gift from God.” Well, God must hate us, because Tiffany absolutely butchers “Halleluja.” She can’t seem to find a pitch. Tiffany better get back to church, because she ain’t going to Hollywood.

Cory, Chris and Ashley share the love and apparently share about three brain cells. Cory and Chris are twin brothers who have both dated Ashley. Together, the three of them are a K-Fed/Paris Hilton hybrid minus the charm and intelligence. Chris and Cory rap and beat box (um, that was covered by Blake last year). They totally stink, and they don’t get a golden ticket. Ashley is next and she presents Simon with her new puppy, Panda. Panda is the only thing I like about Ashley. She sings “Red High Heels” like its Drunk Karaoke Night at the Tri-Delt kegger. Cory and Chris totally dis Ashley behind her back. Just like her two boyfriends Cory and Chris, Ashley does not get a golden ticket. However, I wish Panda would go to Hollywood. Panda was the best audition so far.

Cardin Lee McKinney is so pretty and she also has a lot of confidence without being obnoxious. She sings “One Night Only.” Hmm, she’s quite theatrical, but perhaps she can learn to tone that down once she gets to Hollywood. Yep, she is the proud recipient of a golden ticket.

Joanne Borgella is a gorgeous plus-size model (let’s face it, being a size 8 is considered plus-size these days). Joanne impresses the judges when they find out she sang the national anthem at Madison Square Garden. She sings “I Love You” and has a very strong voice, but her upper register needs some work. Still, Joanne is going to Hollywood.

Alesha Stezl sings “Surrender” and it does not go well. The judges will give her another chance if she sings a Dolly Parton song. But Alesha is not familiar with the delightful Miss Parton. Why am I not surprised Ryan knows Dolly Parton songs? Alesha comes back to sing “Islands in the Stream.” She sounds better, but not by much. However, she is still going to Hollywood. Somehow I can’t see her surviving theme weeks.

Randi Gregorie sings and strips. I did not need to see this.

Charlie curses through out his audition. Klassy!

Joshua Moreland goes by the moniker J. Smoove. Hmm, any relation to Smoove B from the Onion? J. Smoove tells us he has the “Wow Factor.” For some reason, I think he probably has the “Ow Factor.” But hey, let’s give J a chance. J. Smoove sings an original song named “Beautiful Lady” and dedicates it to Paula and all the ladies of the world. He’s way over the top. His voice doesn’t suck too much, but his falsetto is painful to the ears. And he just has to throw confetti and rose petals because the ladies love nothing more than cleaning up confetti and rose petals. Fortunately, we have merry maid Simon to clean up the mess. What I wouldn’t give to have Simon cover over and clean my apartment.

Hey, not only do auditioners screw up, the judges screw up people’s names!!

Chickezie Eze auditioned back in season 6 but didn’t go far. He’s back for more. Chickezie sings “All the Woman I Need.” Hmm, I like his sweet, soulful voice. He’d definitely find a place in adult R & B. But what do the judges think? Simon is not impressed (big surprise), but Randy and Paula are. Chickezie is going to Hollywood.

Danny Noriega is another season 6 reject when nerves got the best of him. Well, he seems to get a handle of his nerves, and sings “Proud Mary.” He has a pretty decent voice (at times a bit karaoke), but has lots of potential. Oh, Danny boy gets a golden ticket.

And finally, finally season 7’s auditions are over. There are people I who I’m interested to see in Hollywood and people who I never want to see again (I’m looking at you, Alexis Cohen). 164 people are on their way to Hollywood, and I’m looking forward to next week.
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Old 02-07-2008, 01:27 PM   #213
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. Obviously she isn't fully aware of the ancient art of snark.
hahahaha Be Nicer!
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Old 02-07-2008, 02:33 PM   #214
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hahahaha Be Nicer!
If I decided to be nicer; I'd probably lose my immense fanbase. Snerk.

I was going to comment on her comment, but I think I'm just going to ignore it.
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Old 02-07-2008, 02:39 PM   #215
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I love it.
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Old 02-07-2008, 02:41 PM   #216
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I love it.
I said it before, and I'll say it again: That was, without a doubt, the greatest moment in Idol history.
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Old 02-07-2008, 04:17 PM   #217
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I said it before, and I'll say it again: That was, without a doubt, the greatest moment in Idol history.
Close, but no.

No Sex Allowed ftw
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Old 02-07-2008, 04:19 PM   #218
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I can't even remember how No Sex Allowed went. But I can still sing I Am Your Brother, so I'm voting for that one.
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Old 02-07-2008, 04:21 PM   #219
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It's not even about how it went, it's about the message
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Old 02-07-2008, 04:21 PM   #220
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Originally posted by corianderstem
I can't even remember how No Sex Allowed went. But I can still sing I Am Your Brother, so I'm voting for that one.
Oh, hi. Did somebody say they forgot "No Sex Allowed"?

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Old 02-07-2008, 04:44 PM   #221
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Oh, hi. Did somebody say they forgot "No Sex Allowed"?

Wait, it was called "No Sex Allowed?" I thought it was called "No Sex Aloud" and it was about do the deed but very quietly.
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Old 02-07-2008, 04:46 PM   #222
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Wait, it was called "No Sex Allowed?" I thought it was called "No Sex Aloud" and it was about do the deed but very quietly.

Then I think most of us are screwed.
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Old 02-07-2008, 07:16 PM   #223
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Do you think hardcore Scientologists have silent sex as well as silent births?
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Old 02-07-2008, 07:17 PM   #224
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Do you think hardcore Scientologists have silent sex along with silent births?
If that's the case, they're even worse than I thought.
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Old 02-07-2008, 07:31 PM   #225
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Oh my God!!! I've never seen those videos before. The "I am your brother" thing was beyond hilarious! The guy kept going on too and wouldn't stop.

The No Sex Allowed one was just.. weird.
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