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Join Date: Aug 2006
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Originally posted by Golightly Grrl
American Idol-Atlanta Auditions
Past Atlanta auditions have brought us Idol luminaries like Clay Aiken, Fantasia and Jennifer Hudson. But will season 7’s Idol auditions be a Georgia peach or a bunch of Georgia pits? However, before we get to the auditions, the Seacrest family has a little reunion.
Josh Jones works for glass company, and likes working with his tools. I just hope he isn’t one. Josh sings “Don’t Stop Me Now.” After hearing him sing, I think the song should be re-named “Do Stop Me Now. No, I Really Mean It.” Josh is totally over the top, and is probably more suited to Broadway. And what is up with his freaky eyes? Paula asks Josh to turn around and face the backdrop. Somehow I think Paula would have asked him to turn around even if his eyes weren’t possessed by the devil. Despite coming across as a demonic understudy for Spring Awakening, Josh gets a golden ticket.
JP already auditioned in season 4-the season of Carrie Underwood. JP wishes he would have kept in touch with Ms. Underwood. I’m sure she wishes the same thing. JP sings “Me and My Gang.” Is he actually singing words or is that some gibberish? Despite majoring in music, Josh shows zilch musical talent. JP whines about having to go back to school. Oh poor baby. Graduating from college is such a burden. And you might want to change your major.
Finally, in season 7, truth is spoken. Paula is a girl who can’t say no; just ask Corey Clark.
Despite the exotic name, Asia’h Epperson claims to a be a small-town girl. She tells us a sad story of losing her dad in a car accident just days before the audition. Asia sings “How Do I Live Without You” and dedicates it to her dad. Hmm, something about her voice bugs me. What is it? I’m not impressed, but the judges are. Asia is going to Hollywood.
Brooke Helzie is Miss South Florida Fair. Hmm, a blonde, perky, Southern beauty queen-she’s right out of central casting. Her pageant duties have included kissing a pig. Hey, you don’t have to win Miss South Florida Fair to do that; just be drunk off your arse at bar time. Brooke sings “Who’s Lovin’ You.” She sounds okay, but the singing blondes are starting to blend into one. Brooke is so unbelievably pageant-y, plus Simon finds her annoying. And I’m sure she’ll be annoying in Hollywood. Brooke, keep this in mind. The whole blonde, ditzy, “I’ve got an IQ of room temperature” schtick was tired when Kellie Pickler did it in season 5.
The following montage of Fegie’s “Glamorous” is more like “Torturous.” And I know this is rude, but some of these people are so unattractive, I thought I was watching an episode of Springer. Or maybe these people grew up near a nuclear reactor.
Just when I think we’ve got our fill of obnoxious auditioners, we get Eva Miller. Hmm, I think she just got off the pole to audition. Eva sings “A 1000 Miles.” Her singing and dancing is atrocious. She’s not even entertaining in a so bad it’s good kind of way. Eva doesn’t get a golden ticket. However, I did crack up when she fell on her rear. And I’m so glad she was wearing leggings. I did not want to be introduced to her lady bits.
Alexandrea Lushinton brings a huge entourage, including her too-cute-for-words great grandma. At sixteen, Alexandrea is a bit unpolished, but she shows promise. Alexandrea is going to Hollywood. I hope she brings along great grandma. Great Grandma could be my favorite Idol family member since mamaleh Claudette Yamin.
Nathan Hite is sixteen and a 9th grade repeater. Hmm, that’s something to be proud of, loser. Nathan sings “Paralyzer” and is awful. And he seriously needs to turn down the ‘tude. Nathan, there is a reason why you are so behind your peers. You’re not going to Hollywood, but I’m sure there is a meth lab in some trailer park that will accept you.
Amanda Overmyer is a nurse, a goth and a biker chick, what a Renaissance woman! But can Amanda sing? Amanda sings “Mean Woman” and later sings “Traveling Band.” She doesn’t have a strictly pop voice. It’s more gritty and earthy. And though she seems a bit over the top, she’s different from a lot of the other females who are auditioning. I think AI needs a rocker girl. Amanda gets a golden ticket.
Josiah Leming has been living in his car and is a high school drop out. Yet, he’s happy. Wait, he’s not. Well, at least he has this golden opportunity to audition for Idol. Hmm, why waste your time getting your GED and maybe going to college? Josiah sings an original composition called “To Run.” He has way too much vibrato in his voice and way too theatrical. Plus, he sings in this odd British accent. I half expect him to say, “Cheerio, guvnah!” Well, it doesn’t matter what I think because Josiah is going to Hollywood. Well, at least he won’t have to live in his car.
Atlanta presented 19 Idol hopefuls with golden tickets. The final audition show features the best of the rest. And you can bet that the best of the rest doesn’t only feature the best singers, but the best of the worst. Is it Hollywood week yet?
Another awesome and hilarious recap Golightly! You have no idea how much I look forward to reading these after every episode!