AI Recaps-April 25th
Idol Gives Back and the Results
After Ryan screws up the opening intro, he tells us that AI received over 70 million votes, and the results will be shocking!! And during “Idol Gives Back” we AI addicts can donate our hard-earned dollars via a toll free number or the Internet. Ryan introduces the judges. Randy gives back by wearing a shirt made out of a bedsheet from 1973. Paula gives back by showing off the “girls.” And Simon could give back if he ever wore a tie.
Ryan sends us to Ellen DeGeneres who is hosting at the Disney Concert Hall. Earth, Wind, and Fire perform a medley of their hits. Baby Boomers everywhere, trying to keep their AARP years at bay, recall their disco dancing days. Ah yes, disco balls, polyester, and cocaine.
Before we get to more performances or the results, we get some footage of Randy visiting his home state of Louisiana. Though Hurricane Katrina was nearly two years ago, the people of New Orleans are still dealing with a host of problems like crime, poverty, and living in FEMA trailers. Fortunately, Save the Children is adding a positive element to kids’ lives.
Now music legend Quincy Jones leads the Idol hopefuls through a new song “A Time to Care.” I actually appreciated the group harmony, and the Lion King like sound. I guess I’m easily pleased.
After the group sing, and after Ben Stiller totally irritates me, Ryan and Simon show off their honeymoon video. Oops, I mean their footage to their trip to Kenya. Ryan and Simon meet two orphaned siblings, Groman (?) and Violet. Despite all of their hardships, Groman and Violet are focusing on their education. Education is young Groman and Violet’s way out of poverty.
After the footage, we see our Idolettes seated on the seats of triumph or failure. Melinda is deemed safe. But we have a million things to get to before we can find out if anyone else is safe or doomed.
Paula visits the kids at Los Angeles’ Boys and Girls Club. The kids prove to be far more on the ball than Paula.
After Paula’s segment, we go back to the Disney Concert Hall. Ellen introduces Chris Sligh’s favorite group, Il Divo. Il Divo sing a “popera” version of “Somewhere.” Okay.
Finally things get entertaining when Jack Black gets up on stage and sings Seal’s “Kiss from a Rose.” I actually thought this part was fun, and “Better than Sanjaya” is totally my band’s name.
Ready for some more results, kids? Blake is announced safe, and countless “Blaker Girls” throw their panties.
Next we get some footage of Carrie Underwood singing “I’ll Stand by You” while in South Africa. Considering Miss Underwood’s eye lashes, I thought it was a Cover Girl commercial at first.
Back at the Disney Concert Hall, Ellen introduces Rascal Flatts. Not a fan of their Chris Richardson nasally vocal stylings, I take a bathroom break.
Show of hands. How many of you are a friend of Tom’s?
Next we get some footage of the Appalachian Mountains in Kentucky where coal mining, and sadly, illiteracy, are a way of life. I’m still shocked that in the United States there are people who can’t read. I’m so sheltered sometimes. I did get a bit teary-eyed when young mother Tanya mentioned how proud she was when her daughter came home and read a page to her out of a book.
If it’s results night, then we must have a pimpmercial for Ford. The Idol contestants sing “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” and drive to the drive-in movies, where they see a plethora of celebrities geeking their way through the disco classic, “Stayin’ Alive.” However, I do want to be Helen Mirren when I grow up.
Guess what? Phil is safe!
Next we see more footage of Ryan and Simon in Africa, discussing how AIDS has devastated the continent. I never thought I’d say it, but I think there’s a heart underneath Simon’s t-shirt.
Ellen tells us she’s donating $100,000 to Idol Gives Back. Hmm, I wonder how much other celebs are giving. They can pony up a lot more than us mere mortals.
Josh Groban sings “You Raise Me Up” with the delightful African Children’s Chorus. I can’t say anything snarky about these lovely children. Their faces were pure joy.
After that performance, we get a montage of how many funerals some celebs have gone to. As if we care. But more importantly, we learn far too many children die from malaria, which can be treated and prevented.
Kelly Clarkson sings “Up to the Mountain” accompanied by the legendary Jeff Beck. I was blown away by her performance. She sounded terrific!
The Simpson’s short was hilarious!
And LaKisha is safe. Wow, I thought she was a goner.
Okay, the duet between Celine and the CGI Elvis seriously creeped me out. Or maybe Celine was CGI. Remember when Elliott sang this song last year? Yea, good times. I wish AI would have brought him back.
Madonna’s speaking voice bugs me. Just thought I’d mention that.
After a few weird moments, we go back to the Disney Concert Hall. Ellen introduces the wonderful Annie Lennox who sings “Bridge Over Troubled Water.” If I can’t be Helen Mirren when I grow up, can I be Annie Lennox? Goosebump City!!
Now we are back to the results. Chris is safe. Jordin is safe. Huh? Did I miss something? Well, I guess we can’t kick off anyone during “Idol Gives Back.” And keeping Mr. Nasal on this show is definitely an act of charity.
Finally, we get to the best part. Bono joins the Idol contestants to mentor them, and tell them about the work he has done on behalf of Africa. Love him. LOVE HIM!!! He was so generous and kind towards the contestants. I actually liked the final group sing, “American Prayer,” but it would have been even better if Bono would have joined them. Then again, I probably would have fainted dead on the floor.
Did I like “Idol Gives Back” Night? Well, I support the charitable causes, but the jury is still out if I liked the actual show. There were definitely some highlights, but some parts that were just unnecessary filler. And as my sister mentioned, Ben Stiller may have been irritating, but he wasn’t nearly as irritating as Sanjaya.
