American Idol 6

[U2Girl416]

AI Recaps-January 17th
Seattle Auditions

Darwin/Meesha: She and her mother are wearing matching lipstick. They also wrote a novella together. Anyone want to read it? crickets chirping . These two seriously creeped me out. And Darwin/Meesha? Please invest in a good bra.

thought I was the only one who noticed the fact that her chest was well, swinging around. ick. the hair and lipstick was just traumatizing. Why, people? Why?

 

[Got Philk?]

thought I was the only one who noticed the fact that her chest was well, swinging around. ick. the hair and lipstick was just traumatizing. Why, people? Why?

Yes, I did notice this...unfortunately.

I was happy they didn't just kill her with their comments though. They held back on what they thought I felt, the judges I mean. I don't know how she would have handled very negative comments...and I didn't want to find out.

And yes, the lipstick was amazing too!

 

[Golightly Grrl]

thought I was the only one who noticed the fact that her chest was well, swinging around. ick. the hair and lipstick was just traumatizing. Why, people? Why?

When you have large, pendulous breasts like Darwin/Meesha you need some supportive undergarments. I'm not Dolly Parton, but my girls need a house.

And here is a link to Darwin/Meesha's MySpace page:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=20021344

She claims she and her mom are her heroes. Well, her hero certainly ain't Victoria's Secret.

 

[LyricalDrug]

The show is so awful, but I always end up watching it anyway.



This Washington Post review had me genuinely laughing out loud. The reference to all the "extremely dramatic singing" is my favorite line....

---
American Idol: Everything That's Wrong With America

The new season of "American Idol" did the impossible last night: Showed more scenes of torture than "24."

The judges and the viewers were tortured by contestants whose delusions of grandeur and hegemonic vanity had led to them to think that they could sing. Simon and Randy responded to the appalling performances with the kind of nuanced reviews and hand-holding you would expect Jack Bauer to offer a terrorist. Paula seemed rather out of it, as though weighing the option of passing out. Even she was more animated than the guest judge, Jewel, who seemed to be following someone's advice to just sit there and be as blonde as possible. [Actual quotes and names of contestants and stuff like that can be found in the excellent piece by Lisa de Moraes.]

Collectively they told the majority of contestants that they were putrid, and that, as Simon put it at one point, their futures would not involve singing. This came as shocking news to many contestants, who, demonstrating one of the core weaknesses of American culture, had been told again and again that they had a talent that they in fact lacked. What we saw was the self-esteem movement exploding on prime-time television. We saw young people raised in the Everyone Gets A Trophy culture being told the truth for the first time in their lives. Gosh it was painful to watch, unless, of course, you're a sadist, in which case it was hilarious.

"American Idol" is, on many levels, a catalog of all that is wrong with our country. First you have the pathogen of overkill, which infects all creative ventures these days and manifests itself on this particular program as extremely dramatic singing. Imagine "Over the Rainbow" sung as though it's the national anthem at the Super Bowl. Everyone wants to sing so loudly and with so many warbles and yah-yahs and pulmonary flourishes that the judges are blown against the back wall by the shock wave.

More broadly, you have celebrity worship merging with individualism to create the delusion that no one is allowed to be anything other than exceptional. Everyone must be a star. We saw all these people of ordinary talent declaring that they would become the next American Idol because they were "unique." These people had dreams, but some no longer had jobs -- they had quit their employment in order to travel to Minneapolis to make fools of themselves. The gleeful producers milked their humiliation for all it was worth; the camera did not flinch as a contestant, shattered by the news that he couldn't sing, wept outside the audition room, saying he had never been so insulted in all his life (even as Simon, as sensitive as a shark, said cheerily, "I think he took that well").

Also, the show is on Fox, which is arguably another thing wrong with America, but that's a screed for another day.

 

[Allegra]

This show was awful. It was funny, but got very sad towards the end. It's one thing to judge their singing, but to come out and talk about their looks in front of them and behind them on TV was just wrong. It was especially wrong when Paula was backing up the poor guys, but then laughed after they went out of the room.

Kenneth the “Bush Baby”: The less said the better.

Jonathon the “Randy Trouser Wearer”: The less said the better, part two

Agreed.

Yeah, I know Simon's been doing that since day one. He even thought what's-her-name was too heavy to go on stage last year, she took it well, and proved him wrong which was great and Simon ate his words. But those two poor guys never had a chance.

It was interesting this morning they mentioned this very same problem on The View and their guest Kelly Pickler said nothing and sat there with her mouth shut the whole time and gave no comment to the situation.

I'm too hoping for a better show in Memphis!

 

[Golightly Grrl]

The show is so awful, but I always end up watching it anyway.



This Washington Post review had me genuinely laughing out loud. The reference to all the "extremely dramatic singing" is my favorite line....

---
American Idol: Everything That's Wrong With America

The new season of "American Idol" did the impossible last night: Showed more scenes of torture than "24."

The judges and the viewers were tortured by contestants whose delusions of grandeur and hegemonic vanity had led to them to think that they could sing. Simon and Randy responded to the appalling performances with the kind of nuanced reviews and hand-holding you would expect Jack Bauer to offer a terrorist. Paula seemed rather out of it, as though weighing the option of passing out. Even she was more animated than the guest judge, Jewel, who seemed to be following someone's advice to just sit there and be as blonde as possible. [Actual quotes and names of contestants and stuff like that can be found in the excellent piece by Lisa de Moraes.]

Collectively they told the majority of contestants that they were putrid, and that, as Simon put it at one point, their futures would not involve singing. This came as shocking news to many contestants, who, demonstrating one of the core weaknesses of American culture, had been told again and again that they had a talent that they in fact lacked. What we saw was the self-esteem movement exploding on prime-time television. We saw young people raised in the Everyone Gets A Trophy culture being told the truth for the first time in their lives. Gosh it was painful to watch, unless, of course, you're a sadist, in which case it was hilarious.

"American Idol" is, on many levels, a catalog of all that is wrong with our country. First you have the pathogen of overkill, which infects all creative ventures these days and manifests itself on this particular program as extremely dramatic singing. Imagine "Over the Rainbow" sung as though it's the national anthem at the Super Bowl. Everyone wants to sing so loudly and with so many warbles and yah-yahs and pulmonary flourishes that the judges are blown against the back wall by the shock wave.

More broadly, you have celebrity worship merging with individualism to create the delusion that no one is allowed to be anything other than exceptional. Everyone must be a star. We saw all these people of ordinary talent declaring that they would become the next American Idol because they were "unique." These people had dreams, but some no longer had jobs -- they had quit their employment in order to travel to Minneapolis to make fools of themselves. The gleeful producers milked their humiliation for all it was worth; the camera did not flinch as a contestant, shattered by the news that he couldn't sing, wept outside the audition room, saying he had never been so insulted in all his life (even as Simon, as sensitive as a shark, said cheerily, "I think he took that well").

Also, the show is on Fox, which is arguably another thing wrong with America, but that's a screed for another day.

Thank you so much for this article. The self-esteem movement has been one of the most horrible concepts to ever affect modern parenting and the educational system.

 

[Lila64]

great job again Golightly Grrl

 

[corianderstem]

Jennifer the “Hotness”: Her fug goes up to eleven.

She was very unfortunate looking.

Amy: A stay at home mom, and a horrible singer. You’re not sick, you’re sucky!

I felt bad for her. But you know, if you think you're a good singer because your six-year old says you are ... well, it's probably not the best person to listen to for advice.

 

[Regina Filangie]

What was up with that guy who sang "Unchained Melody" ? The way he kept squeezing his eyes shut when he talked, I couldn't figure out if it was nerves or the voices in his head talking to him.

 

[LyricalDrug]

Thank you so much for this article. The self-esteem movement has been one of the most horrible concepts to ever affect modern parenting and the educational system.

Heheh, yep.

The funniest bits of last night's show were when some angry contestant was yelling at Simon Cowell, telling him he didn't know how to judge talent, and he calmly kept repeating, "Then why are you here. Then why are you here."

LOL

Joel Achenbach of the Washington Post is one of the funniest writers around today. I always read his columns...

 

[corianderstem]

My favorite deluded contestants are the ones who say "Who are you to judge me?"

And Simon/Randy/Paula says, "A judge."

Bwa ha haaaaaa!

 

[Sicy]

 

[U2isthebest]

"Waiting for tonight....ohhhh"


Memphis doesn't look as painful as our friends in Minneapolis or Seattle.... Oh how I'm pining the hours until 8..

 

[ultravioletluvv]

What was up with that guy who sang "Unchained Melody" ? The way he kept squeezing his eyes shut when he talked, I couldn't figure out if it was nerves or the voices in his head talking to him.

 

[Golightly Grrl]

I may be a bit delayed with my recap of the Memphis auditions. I'm working a long day tonight, and probably won't get to see the auditions until tomorrow. Hope that's okay.

 

[U2isthebest]

I may be a bit delayed with my recap of the Memphis auditions. I'm working a long day tonight, and probably won't get to see the auditions until tomorrow. Hope that's okay.

You better believe it! I don't believe we met, I'm Brittany. Your recaps are brilliant! The Seattle one still has me cracking up!

 

[U2isthebest]

 

[Golightly Grrl]

You better believe it! I don't believe we met, I'm Brittany. Your recaps are brilliant! The Seattle one still has me cracking up!

Hi Brittany. Glad to make your acquaintance. Glad you like the recaps. They're so much fun to write. I actually set up a recap blog at the official AI site and our local Fox affiliate. Yes, I know that sounds like overkill, but I'm trying to make a name for myself to showcase my writing, and I figure going the AI fame ho route might work in my favor. Snerk.

 

[U2isthebest]

Hi Brittany. Glad to make your acquaintance. Glad you like the recaps. They're so much fun to write. I actually set up a recap blog at the official AI site and our local Fox affiliate. Yes, I know that sounds like overkill, but I'm trying to make a name for myself to showcase my writing, and I figure going the AI fame ho route might work in my favor. Snerk.

It worked for Daniel Powter and Shakira! They were featured on AI, and suddenly they were in the Billboard Top 20! Why shouldn't it work for your writing, which is amazing, btw! They're even more fun to read...I may have to dig around for last seasons...

 

[Regina Filangie]

Yes, that's the guy. He seemed very mild mannered and nerdy, but I can absolutely picture him keeping a head in his freezer or something like that.

 

[U2Girl1978]

There were some decent singers tonight. None too mind blowing. I did like the guy who looked like Jesus or whoever he said he was.

 

[U2isthebest]

There were some decent singers tonight. None too mind blowing. I did like the guy who looked like Jesus or whoever he said he was.

He was good! As was Sundance! That name is frickin' and the one African American girl that wasn't very confident....she was awesome!

 

[RavenBlue]

Sundance was great! I liked Fidel Castro dude too.

Looks like there's going to be some nutballs tomorrow night.

Simons expressions crack me up.

 

[U2isthebest]

Sundance was great! I liked Fidel Castro dude too.

Looks like there's going to be some nutballs tomorrow night.

Simons expressions crack me up.

Definitely!! He looks like he's being tortured! I think the best judge reactions ever were when "Mr. Emotional", you know, the guy with the song for his girlfriend who said he was about to deliver the most emotional performance ever on AI? (I was left emotional alright...emotionally disturbed. ) Anyway, when he broke out that spastic flailing at the beginning and Paula and Randy just shot back in their chairs...I cracked up for about 5 minutes!

 

[corianderstem]

Sundance was AMAZING. I loved Simon's comment after he left about how he blew Taylor out of the water. QFT, Simon. QFT.

I loved the Jesus/Castro guy, too. Great song to sing, and he was pleasantly surprising.

 

[Lila64]

Sundance was great - just an odd name 'Sundance Head'. And yeah, liked Simon's comments as well. I was a little afraid of Fidel at first, but he came thru. But wonder if he'll change his look at all when he gets to Hollywood.

 

[U2Girl416]

surprisingly, there singers weren't as bad last night as they were last week. liked the "sundance" guy and the long-bearded guy

 

[corianderstem]

I had to laugh after the whole "Yeah, my parents named me Sundance ... my name is Sundance Head " thing, the name that appeared on the screen as he sang was something like Aaron "Sundance" Head.

So yeah, your parents didn't really name you Sundance. They named you Aaron (or whatever the real first name was).

 

[cell]

When you have large, pendulous breasts like Darwin/Meesha you need some supportive undergarments. I'm not Dolly Parton, but my girls need a house.

omg

 

[Allegra]

That was a pretty good show last night