...all airlines can suck my ass...

[ouizy]

I love cursing in the titles of threads.

So, my Beyonce is getting flown out to Vegas for Valentines Day weekend for 'work' and I am planning on tagging along (ie, all I have to buy is a plane ticket.)

We are getting put up in thte new Ritz Carlton and can expense everything besides gambling money. Sounds great, right?

sure

However every plane ticket from NY to Vegas is about a million bucks. It sucks, I hate how arilines jack up all their prices on holiday weekends. Yes, I am naive and understand that is when they make their money, but let me tell you this:

Once OUIZYAIR is in operation, all holidays will have drastically reduced prices, all flights shall have 35 channels of U2 bootlegs for your listening pleasure, and the Elevation DVD, Rattle and Hum, the making of Rattle and Hum, Popmart live, and ZOO TV live will be the only entertainment shown. Everyone will drink for free, and clothing will be optional.

So, the flight I actually booked has a layover of about 45 minutes in Cleveland and then I had the brilliant thought of trying to make the layover longer so I could run over to the Hall of Fame and see the U2 exhibit. Of course trying to change my flight would cost me another $600 which is fucking ridiculous, I mean, I am willing to go on a bunch of random flights at random times (no non-stop) and they want ANOTHER $600!!! Airlines suck.

As a side note, I called the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and asked the nice lady how long the exhibit would run for, and her answer was:

"...well it is scheduled to run through September 2003, but our Lennon exhibit ran for two full years, so who knows how U2 will do..."

I think they have very high expectations for this show, and are willing to extend it and it has not even opened yet.

Another point:

It looks like I will not be getting to the exhibit (even though I will be in that city and 30 minutes away ) so if anyone goes, take lots of photos, especially of the "architectural models of the stages" and if no photos are allowed, could you grab a brochure and see if there are any images of this in it?

I am so pissed.

All airlines can suck my ass.

Does anyone have any way of getting cheap tickets (besides the usual Expedia, Orbitz...)????????


Much obliged,

 

[BAW]

They do suck ass Ouizy.

I used priceline.com once and got 2 roundtrip tickets from John Wayne airport to Tulsa with a layover in Salt Lake City for only $100 each...I think with the tax and fees it came to $275 total. You can't even get one ticket for that price directly through the airlines.

BUT, the catch is you don't have a choice about what time you fly. Our return flight didn't get us back to California until 4:30 a.m. on a Monday morning, which sucked ass big time. And once you book, its non-refundable.

 

[Sicy]

I cant wait to fly ouizyair.

 

[Laura M]

Ive never been on a plane

I have never been abroad but I have sailed on a boat to England but seeing as I have an Irish and British passport i guess that doesnt count as abroad!

 

[daisybean]

I want to fly on ouizyair too


You just gotta keep your eyes peeled for good deals I guess....you can also put yourself on standby for a flight...it's cheaper, but riskier, because you might not get on the flight.

 

[Screaming Flower]

i think ouizyair should fly everyone out to the exhibit.

 

[nbcrusader]

I had a pilots license once - I'd gladly fly for Ouizyair!

 

[meegannie]

Will OUIZYAIR have international flights?

 

[daafish]

i think ouizyair should fly everyone out to the exhibit.

That should be it's flagship flight! And all interferencers get a discount!

 

[Laura M]

I had a pilots license once - I'd gladly fly for Ouizyair!

where did it go?

*would not fly Nbcrusaderair

 

[ouizy]

I am working on it...

A new rule, everyone must wear one of those big afro wigs and sunglasses on the flight.

I mean, I am not being too specific, right all I ask is that I leave New York at 6:00AM, get to Cleveland, fly out at 2:00PM to Las Vegas, fly back on the redeye all for $100.00

 

[Laura M]

Can you fly to Ireland?

 

[nbcrusader]

where did it go?

*would not fly Nbcrusaderair

Expired - to maintain a license is $$$

Ouizyair management might overlook this

 

[JOFO]

I get claustrophobic on planes.

I'm like charles grodin in "midnight run".

".....these things go down.......can't......breathe"

 

[ouizy]

Yes we will make international flights strictly to the following destinations:

Dublin, Ireland
Negril Jamaica (Irie mon)
Florence, Italy
Tahiti, French Polynisia
Cabo, Mexico
Rio de Janiero, Brazil
Hong Kong, China
Tokyo, Japan
Sydney, Australia

The planes will be navy blue with tan leather interior, the flight attendants will all be female, dress like Geisha Girls, and be multi lingual. Smoking is allowed in all bathrooms. Shots will be served on demand by the "shooter girl" wearing two holsters, one holding tequila, one holding 7UP. Passengers will be strip searched when I deem necessary and the back 1/3 of the plane will be one giant bed (lots of pillows)

 

[Sicy]

 

[daisybean]

Does the soon to be Mrs. Ouizy know of these airline policies?

*edit to add

OMFC Sicy that is so funny

 

[Elvis Presley]

airlines do suck ass,

i like priceline though usually, got a ticket from Louisville to Philly to Amsterdam for 500 bones round trip...


not too shabby

 

[nbcrusader]

The planes will be navy blue with tan leather interior, the flight attendants will all be female, dress like Geisha Girls, and be multi lingual. Smoking is allowed in all bathrooms. Shots will be served on demand by the "shooter girl" wearing two holsters, one holding tequila, one holding 7UP. Passengers will be strip searched when I deem necessary and the back 1/3 of the plane will be one giant bed (lots of pillows)

I can't wait for the promotional bumper sticker - If this plane's a rockin', don't come a knockin'

 

[ouizy]

Sicy - I love it!

 

[Sicy]

Yay


you should put it in your sig

 

[BAW]

Send the shooter girl over make room on the giant bed...I'm flying Ouizyair!


Sicy...brilliant as usual

edited to say... I don't want to get on the giant bed WITH the shooter girl...I just want a drink before I settle in for the flight

 

[Cajun]

you know that where there is a giant bed and booze there will be the Cajun

 

[oliveu2cm]

This is hilarious!!

(I don't see London on the destinations list )

I think it is just what the airlines need! Plus all that U2 on the radio

 

[beegee]

try jetblue. in january they had ny to vegas ninety-nine round trip...my brother flies out from ny to visit me in vegas at least twice a year. he always flies jetblue and chooses flights that arrive and depart at the mosy ungodly of hours...and if this cheapskate can afford it, i'm sure you can, too...also jetblue's 'snack' packaging is great...it looks mysterious on the outside, but inside it is full of treasures...

 

[ABEL]

of course every pilot needs his wings

 

[Sicy]

oh abel

 

[notiti]

Ouizy. I need a ticket to Tokyo on March 16th. I then need a ticket from Tokyo to Sydney on July 15th. I then need a ticket from Sydney to Seattle on August 20th.

Can you hook it up or what? You best belive I needs to see me some U2 when flyign across the damn Pacific.

 

[ILuvLarryMullen]

this does sound like one kick ass airline and those photos are priceless. I'm really glad to hear that the hall of fame exibit will be open for so long, I might just have to make a road trip this summer (I live all the way in southern california). I've always wanted to go on a road trip and maybe this will finally motivate me to go.

 

[ouizy]

Notiti:

As you can see OUIZYAIR does not currently fly to Seattle, but as I like your prose, I will fly a special NOTITI2003 PACIFICPARTY CHARTER to meet your needs. I feel like we may need a little extra party lighting for these flights.

As for Jetblue I have actually flown them from NY to Oakland (?!?) and liked it although I could not figure out whether it was a slick flight or actually very very ghetto. In any event, I would fly them again, but that $99.00 flight thing is a load of crap. When all was said and done, for what I need all the major airlines were cheaper.

What is also working against me is the weekend I am going to Vegas is:

1. Valentines Day
2. President's Day
3. A friggin Magic Convention

Now don't get me wrong, I like magic as much as the next Joe, but I fear seeing the strip with more freaks than are already there...

Happy Thursday.