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Old 02-28-2003, 09:22 PM   #1
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wink Alert Procedures - witty!

Some of these are absolutely fantastic!

http://www.iidb.org/vbb/showthread.p...threadid=46223
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Old 02-28-2003, 09:31 PM   #2
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Old 02-28-2003, 09:42 PM   #3
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Old 02-28-2003, 09:46 PM   #4
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Old 02-28-2003, 10:36 PM   #5
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Quote:
Remain calm: Even in the event of a new wave of terror attacks Swatch (honory member of the New Europe) will continue to provide the American people with a wide selection of quality suitcases and travel bags.
These are BRILLIANT!!!
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:27 AM   #6
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!!!!!!!!!!!

*wipes tears from eyes* i think i have woken up my neighbors.

hahahaahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
[q]

If your dumb ass does get trapped under stuff, amuse yourself in your final moments with shadow puppets.


In the event of emergency, find a 3-story, 10-foot-high building. The midgets inside will be sure to help you. Remember, just follow the enormous red arrow protruding from your crotch. [/q]
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:32 AM   #7
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[q]
If you see a nuclear explosion, pull off the road and take some snapshots.


If you hear the Backstreet Boys, Michael Bolton or Yanni on the radio, cower in the corner or run like hell.


The middle of a terrorist attack is not an appropriate time to catch up on your reading or paperwork.


Swinging it around and making "whoosing" sounds won't help. [/q]

oh am i glad i opened this thread!!!!!!!
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:43 AM   #8
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sorry, this thread is too fucking funny. i have tears rolling down my eyes!

[q]
While cowering under your desk to avoid falling debris, take time to check you are wearing clean white socks.


If a terrorist comes to your window, tell him to talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listenin'


While on fire is not an appropriate time to show-off your "running man" dance moves. [/q]
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:43 AM   #9
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hilarious...I'm laughing like a loon
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:49 AM   #10
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you and i both char. i have tears rolling down my face!

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"I'm not too comfortable around guns, but THIS might impress my NRA friends!" [/q]
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:51 AM   #11
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Originally posted by MissVelvetDress_75



If a terrorist comes to your window, tell him to talk to the hand cuz the face ain't listenin'

this one almost made me lose bladder control


*edited to say...I'm still laughing and I've read it 10 times!
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:54 AM   #12
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those are too funny! i'm literally laughing very loudly...
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:54 AM   #13
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!!!!!!!!!! oh hell, that one made me laugh so hard that my stomach is starting to hurt.
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Old 03-01-2003, 01:59 AM   #14
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[q]
If there's a radiation source in the next room, stand facing the wall as close as you can to ensure maximum dosage.


Under the New Patriot Act, it is deemed Unamerican for sissies to get trapped underneath rubble.


Remember, if you look at internet porn, God will strike you down. Do not attempt to flee from His Justice. [/q]


i can't stop posting!
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Old 03-01-2003, 02:04 AM   #15
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ok this is it and i am calling it quits and going to bed.

lmfao!

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Candy-gram! [/q]
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