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Old 09-17-2005, 04:04 PM   #1
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Advice for a young wife

Bring it on!
Wives, husbands. Tell me what you know about being married. About fighting...cooking....making up...getting along...moods...gifts and holidays...
Everything!
Im a clean slate. 19 and newlywed.
What are your thoughts?
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Old 09-17-2005, 04:13 PM   #2
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i got married just months after i turned twenty-one and it was much too young.

my advice would be to make sure that you finish your education. back yourself up with a degree, especially before you plan on having children. make sure you can support yourself, no matter what.

i know that sounds cynical, but that's all i've got.

good luck
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Old 09-17-2005, 04:34 PM   #3
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Im working on becoming a teacher right now, but I have faith in my marriage. Not that he or I can keep it together, but that our faith in God will help us get over ourselves and learn to love one another unselfishly
But I cant wait to have a degree
Kids are faaaaar on the horizon
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Old 09-17-2005, 05:25 PM   #4
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Geoff and I just had our 4 year anniversary on the 15th. I got married when I was 19.

I would say to have fun together. Make your husband your best friend. There's nothing better than being married to your best friend. Give your relationship to God everday. Have Christ be the center of your relationship. Make it a point to have devotions everyday and read marriage books together. Pray together too.

I'm currenty going to college fulltime. I don't regret waiting because I had no clue what I wanted to do when I graduated high school.

One other thing, I'm prone to fall for other guys if they pay attention to me. This happened to me a year ago. I ended up having an emotional affair with a guy. My husband and I weren't getting along at the time, but we've worked everything out. I have to limit and guard how much I talk to other guys around my age. The guy I was seeing pursued me. We saw each other for about 4 months then I told my husband. That was one of the worst days of my life, seeing how much I hurt Geoff. Thankfully Geoff stuck around, we had counseling and are back on track.

Marriage isn't easy at times, but if you both want to make it work, it will.

Sorry for going on and on. I could write so much more.

Good luck!
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Old 09-17-2005, 05:43 PM   #5
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Embrace every moment you can.
Tell them how much you love them as often as you can.
Don't go to bed angry.
Be honest.
Lots of sex.
Hold hands.
Take nothing for granted.
Trust.
Be their best friend.
Lots of sex.
Remember it's the two of you against the world. There may be fighting amongst the troops every now and then, but at the end of the day it's just the two of you against this whole world.

Oh and did I mention sex?





















Not bad for a cynic.
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Old 09-17-2005, 05:47 PM   #6
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communication always works in a marriage. make sure you both listen to, and understand each other.
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Old 09-17-2005, 06:33 PM   #7
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Not much I can add to what has already been said. I got married at 21. Now 15 years, 2 kids, 6 cats and 2 dogs later we are still going strong. It hasn't been all that easy, but if you want it bad enough, you will fight for it. Smart move on not having kids right off. We waited 5 years before we had our first one. The few years of marriage, I think are the hardest.
Communication is a big key in marriage. Always keep the lines of communication open, especically during rough times. Get everything out in the open so you can work through it. Give each other space too and laugh a lot together.
Don't forget to share in the household duties either. I'm a stay at home mom, but my husband is wonderful and helps me out through out the house with the cleaning and stuff.

Good luck newlywed.
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Old 09-17-2005, 06:42 PM   #8
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Thanks so much you guys!
BVS, I never expected something so uncynical as you

Communication is definitely important. Luckily I married a guy who makes that easier than it might be. He talks. A lot. In fact, sometimes you cant get him to shut up
But of course I find it adorable....yes, yuck yuck barf

I think the advice of guarding my heart from even leaning towards other men in a bad way is a good idea. Its easy to become too comfortable with somebody of the opposite sex if they pay you a lot of attention and make you feel good about yourself.


Did I hear something about sex?
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Old 09-17-2005, 06:56 PM   #9
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Quote:
Originally posted by u2bonogirl

BVS, I never expected something so uncynical as you
I suprise myself sometimes.

Actually I'm a hopeless romantic at heart. Gets me in trouble sometimes.
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Old 09-17-2005, 06:56 PM   #10
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Make sure it is God first, spouse second, kids third, and everything else comes after that.

And ditto the advice on watching your actions around guys, attractive or not - if you wouldn't normally do or say something to guy if Tim was there watching/listening, don't do it!
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Old 09-17-2005, 07:08 PM   #11
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ah crap, now you guys have made me feel just terrible.

i can't help being cynical. nothing has ever given me a reason to be otherwise. but remember, i was basing my advice on my own experiences, and never meant to suggest that your marriage will be anything less than a lifetime of joy, miss tara.

and i hope with all of my heart that it is.
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Old 09-17-2005, 07:19 PM   #12
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i'm not sure if it's really my place to say this, but don't have kids unless you're sure that you and Tim are gonna be together to raise them. a lot of my friends come from broken homes and the chaos they experienced as a child is not helping them any.



and listen to Loveline. Doctor Drew & Adam Carola know what they're talking about
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Old 09-17-2005, 07:20 PM   #13
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beegee, I think it is good advice all around - you never know what the future holds. God forbid if your spouse was killed or disabled so they couldn't work, I think it would be helpful to have some education beyond high school to be able to support yourself if needed.
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Old 09-17-2005, 09:24 PM   #14
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Quote:
Originally posted by bonosloveslave
Make sure it is God first, spouse second, kids third, and everything else comes after that.

And ditto the advice on watching your actions around guys, attractive or not - if you wouldn't normally do or say something to guy if Tim was there watching/listening, don't do it!
great advice
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Old 09-17-2005, 09:31 PM   #15
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I come from a broken home, so I know what its like to have your parents separated..and I would never wish it on anybodys kids let alone mine.
We've agreed that we will never even joke about the D word
Ditto on ms.giggles
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