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Old 09-19-2005, 12:46 PM   #76
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I think it is awful personally for anyone to put either god or a spouse bfore their own children. Flesh and blood is stronger than marriage and faith. But that is just an opinion, but a sad one.
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Old 09-19-2005, 01:10 PM   #77
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thanks nbcrusader and #1bonofan

We're both sort of solitary people that can spend ridiculous amounts of time together without interacting with anybody
So we needed to make the conscious effort to make sure we get out and have friends we can talk to about life and marriage.
Tonight we're going out with some friends that are older than both of us. Somehow though, whenever we get together Tim and I always end up helping them through their marital problems...not the other way around
Maybe they're just secretly trying to teach us how to fight fairly
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Old 09-19-2005, 02:15 PM   #78
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I'm clucky.

Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem


I do have a problem with assigning a heirarchy to those we love. I have a problem with people placing an idea or a faith of something intangible and unseen which exists only within, above the flesh and blood we give birth to. Children ARE us. How can they be nothing but the most amazing miracle, we as mere humans, will ever witness? For those who dont ever have kids, the balance is worked out with whomever. Once children come into the picture, everything changes. And to be honest, I think those who still place a partner and faith above very real little miracles made by ourselves are...I dont know. I dont understand. I have seen this sentiment expressed before in this forum and I simply do not understand how anythnig can go above what a child is. Partners must always be incredibly important while love lives on. But your children are a part of you, even if they die. They never leave being the unmeasurable part of you that fills and completes you.
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Old 09-19-2005, 02:19 PM   #79
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Arent hens manless?
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Old 09-19-2005, 02:25 PM   #80
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Old 09-19-2005, 02:49 PM   #81
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I thought the hen and chick picture was to point out that the mother was devoting herself to her babies....I was just thinking that hens dont have male partners do they? I feel so dumb...dont the eggs like...fertilize themselves or something?

Then again. What the heck are the roosters there for?
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Old 09-19-2005, 03:43 PM   #82
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I'm 43 and have been married to the same wonderfull woman for 20 years. We've shared the joy of the good and the burden of the bad. The best advice I could give is to accept each other... "as is."
Imposing ones will on another soul is both wrong AND counter productive in ANY relationship. Just love each other, that's all. The same things you notice drive you crazy now... will be the same things you would miss terribly without this person in your life.
Like The Beatles said; "All You Need Is Love."..... The REST works itself out as you go along. So sayeth Laird
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Old 09-19-2005, 04:13 PM   #83
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Quote:
Originally posted by u2bonogirl
I thought the hen and chick picture was to point out that the mother was devoting herself to her babies....I was just thinking that hens dont have male partners do they? I feel so dumb...dont the eggs like...fertilize themselves or something?

Then again. What the heck are the roosters there for?
I posted the chicken picture because Angela Harlems post made me want to have babies (I was making a reference to the word "clucky"). Chickens reproduce sexually. They lay eggs without roosters, but a hen must mate with a rooster in order for an egg to become fertilized. The eggs in a grocery store won't hatch into chicks because they're unfertilized since hens aren't (usually!) kept with roosters unless they're being bred.
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Old 09-19-2005, 05:07 PM   #84
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Gotcha
Have you ever gotten one of the eggs that is partially developed Its so terrible!

So Laird. Youre telling me that in his 60's Tim will still be trying to talk to me about politics?
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Old 09-19-2005, 05:11 PM   #85
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Blood in scrambled eggs is definitely not appealing. I actually new a girl once who prefered those eggs.
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Old 09-19-2005, 05:11 PM   #86
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Quote:
Originally posted by u2bonogirl

So Laird. Youre telling me that in his 60's Tim will still be trying to talk to me about politics?





















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Old 09-19-2005, 05:14 PM   #87
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You shouldnt spit at your wife

At least when youre sticking your tongue out at me youre not talking about politics


Nah, I dont really mind. I got prepped for this by my dad....and rush limbaugh
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Old 09-19-2005, 05:14 PM   #88
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Simplest advice: burn those statistics about divorces in the U.S. and simply love one another...

On the note about prioritizing children or spouses, you will have a clearer picture when you eventually have children. For now, prioritizing makes no sense... and there is no need. Just build this wonderful relationship one step at a time.

Good luck to you both!
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Old 09-19-2005, 06:56 PM   #89
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Quote:
Originally posted by u2bonogirl

Gotcha
Have you ever gotten one of the eggs that is partially developed Its so terrible!

So Laird. Youre telling me that in his 60's Tim will still be trying to talk to me about politics?
That depends on if you LISTEN or WAIT FOR YOUR TURN TO TALK. (When having conversation on ANY subject... even if you're NOT interested in it.)
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Old 09-20-2005, 02:46 AM   #90
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Quote:
Originally posted by nbcrusader
And to clarify on the hierarchy questions, I believe I need to be a good husband before I can be a good father. If our marriage is strong, our mutual ability to parent our children is strengthened.

I reckon you need to be a good person to know how to raise a child to be a good person too. And that isn't always fullproof, but it helps. Do you know any inspirational and brilliant single parents? I do. They show that you dont need to necessarily be a good wife or husband first.

I'm still unclear on how you guys do this. Sorry, bls. What makes me know that my children are without a doubt the most important is not through the hours they seek from me every single day. It's not knowing that they need nappy changes which cannot wait, or that when they fall over they need comforting in an instant. It's not the daily ongoing needs which they drain energy from. It's not weighing up who gets more of my time in a day which determines who is most important. That only means who is most pressing. I know that mine are happy and that I have a husband who doesn't feel neglected. I also get 'me' time. What changes with them is knowing that I simply could not live without them. I would, if god forbid, something happened, but I feel that I cannot. That doesn't mean that I dont feel the same about my husband. But he is not my flesh and blood. He is my best friend and companion. He is my personal diary. He's not what children are. I guess the best way I can sum up how I worked this out is knowing that they are the ones I would go furthest for in this life. They are the ones I pretty much have no boundary on. Whatever it takes, will be done without question for them. I, like anyone, have a long list of important and loved people in my life. My own family, his family, our shared family, my friends. You guys would be the same with the addition of God to that list. In your ways of doing this, does this mean that what you'd do for God and your partners exceeds what you do for your children? If some ridiculous scenario could paint this properly, they (God and the partner) are the ones who will take that bit extra from you, before your kids?
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