A Poll: On Relationships... - U2 Feedback

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View Poll Results: Would a bankruptcy/bad credit deter you from a great relationship?
Yes 10 35.71%
No 18 64.29%
Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll

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Old 06-08-2003, 10:15 AM   #1
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A Poll: On Relationships...

If you found a really incredible person and you just clicked with this person and everything was going wonderfully, but then you found out they had really bad credit/filed bankruptcy, would this be a factor in whether or not you continued the relationship? Thoughts?

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Old 06-08-2003, 10:33 AM   #2
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After giving this about 10 seconds of thought, I'd say no for now. Bad money management can be easily retaught to be better. Of course the situation may need some serious weighing up, like what circumstances caused it in the first place. Someone who has made what seems like a blatantly stupid choice may be like that in general and quick to jump to rash and illogical decisions. If there's a pattern of that in the rest of their lives, I'd still continue I think, but tread carefully and be a bit watchful. Building up a great relationship with anyone will eventually lead to a mutual financial situation and habits they have that they aren't willing to break could eventually effect you directly.
Its said that money is the number one cause of relationship breakups, and while that is not a comforting thought, the chances are more likely that the person simply had an unfortunate combination of a bit of bad luck + a few poor decisions + maybe a not so capable grasp of money handling. If it was a one off incident, most people will learn the hard way and not be likely to make those same mistakes again.
Another thing I'd probably want to know is how they feel about it. If they're particularly blase about it, then I'd be a bit concerned, but if they show signs of being troubled by it, I'd not worry so much - its most likely going to be a learning curve for them.

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Old 06-08-2003, 11:07 AM   #3
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^ Yep. What she said.
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Old 06-08-2003, 11:16 AM   #4
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hell yes it would stop me.
not being able to manage personal finances is a huge sign of irresponsibilty.
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Old 06-08-2003, 11:24 AM   #5
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Old 06-08-2003, 11:28 AM   #6
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Originally posted by bonosgirl84
hell yes it would stop me.
not being able to manage personal finances is a huge sign of irresponsibilty.
what she said.
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Old 06-08-2003, 11:39 AM   #7
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Re: A Poll: On Relationships...

Originally posted by clarityat3am
If you found a really incredible person and you just clicked with this person and everything was going wonderfully...
I would think that if those were the circumstances, i.e. you REALLY clicked with this person like nobody you had ever found before, it wouldn't be difficult to put aside and forgive the "bad credit" issue. You'd make certain rules for the future, that's all.
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Old 06-08-2003, 11:46 AM   #8
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Yes. It sure as hell would stop me.
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Old 06-08-2003, 12:04 PM   #9
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I wouldn't end the relationship, but I don't think I'd marry them until their money management skills got better. When you start getting into joint mortgages, checking accounts, etc., what they do can damage your credit. I was actually in this situation once, and it resulted in a checking account of mine (which I'd foolishly let my boyfriend of the time put his name on) being closed by my credit union--NOT a good thing.

I say keep things going, because money management can be learned and things can be improved. But don't go into ANYTHING legal on a joint basis until he has cleaned things up enough.
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Old 06-08-2003, 12:16 PM   #10
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that's why nothing ever happened between Screaming Flower and me
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Old 06-08-2003, 04:12 PM   #11
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yes, it would. Like other people said, it's a big sign of irresponsibility. I had a roomate that was really bad with money, and that caused a big enough pain in the neck, so being married to someone like that would probably be 10x worse.
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Old 06-08-2003, 06:26 PM   #12
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i dont think it would stop me having a relationship with sombody. but i'd definately think twice about lending them money
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Old 06-08-2003, 06:43 PM   #13
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I have had girlfriends with bad finances and it has not been a problem for me. Most of the time it was not a continued behavior.

I do not look to others for finacial security.

I can understand how a continued pattern of financial irresponsibility would undermine any sense of security.
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Old 06-08-2003, 07:57 PM   #14
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nope, wouldnt stop me. never mix love and money.

two things... how did you find it out, did he tell you?

and, maybe you shouldnt marry. but i absolutely dont see why on earth finances should make any difference if its about love.
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Old 06-08-2003, 08:40 PM   #15
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Hard to say.. depends on the situation. One of my ex's actually wanted to get married, however, he was dirt poor and had credit cards with unbelievable amounts maxed on them. It may sound selfish but I did not want to marry into debt, since I usually manage my money well.

Aside from the fact that he wasnt "the one"

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