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View Poll Results: Would a bankruptcy/bad credit deter you from a great relationship?
Yes 10 35.71%
No 18 64.29%
Voters: 28. You may not vote on this poll

 
 
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Old 06-08-2003, 09:42 PM   #16
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Quote:
Originally posted by Salome
yep,
that's why nothing ever happened between Screaming Flower and me
otherwise i would have had 10 dutch bubbies by now.
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Old 06-08-2003, 09:56 PM   #17
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dutch babies
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Old 06-08-2003, 09:57 PM   #18
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ah,

wooden booties
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Old 06-08-2003, 10:00 PM   #19
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Normal sorry i hijacked this thread.

Quote:
Originally posted by Sicy
dutch babies
salome and i and our million dutch babies would live in a windmill.
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Old 06-09-2003, 01:22 AM   #20
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i voted no. not everyone who's got bad credit or has declared bankruptcy is "irresponsible" with their money. yes, there are the type like my aunt who always maxes out her credit cards, and basically lives off of her credit cards. there are people i've seen at the apartment complex my husband works at who get evicted because they just didn't feel like spending the money their parents sent them on the rent.

however, there are people who have to have their house foreclosed because someone loses a job, and just can't find anything, especially if the economy is in the shitter. there are people who have had to declare bankruptcy and have had to lose almost everything, because the only money that was coming in was some unemployment and money from the other spouse working three shifts. the embarrassment that, years later when things are better, it's still on their record but you still can't get any credit cards, and any place that uses equifax to verify checks will refuse your checks, so you have to have the utter embarrassment as the cashier seems to yell that it's been denied. and you have to hope you have enough cash on you to pay for groceries, even though you've got more than enough in checking.

my point? there are two sides to every issue, and not every person with money problems asked for. it's like yelling "get a job" at a panhandler: it's not the real issue at hand, and maybe that person has tried their damndest to find even the most demeaning job none of us would work, but no one will hire them.
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Old 06-09-2003, 01:41 AM   #21
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Quote:
Originally posted by deep
ah,

wooden booties
Do they make clogs that small... or do they take after salome and have well-endowed feet?



I think I actually made a positive comment to another interferencer... am I on drugs?
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Old 06-09-2003, 01:57 AM   #22
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my ex destroyed my credit. so...yes, its a factor.
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Old 06-09-2003, 03:20 AM   #23
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I said NO

Past financial problems wouldn't stop me with the right person. You would need to iron out he financial problems before linking them. It just delays setting the date of the wedding and buying a home...not the fact that it's going to happen.

Check them out thoroughly.
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Old 06-09-2003, 12:27 PM   #24
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it all depends...does the problem leak into the relationship? like, do they need you to pay for everything all the time? (like rent and food, not movies and stuff.) that could be problematic. but if they just have management issues (like, hey, look, a paycheck...should I save it or spend it?) then I would think things could be worked out. It can be hard to find folks with whom you click!!
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Old 06-09-2003, 03:16 PM   #25
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pfffft

Quote:
Originally posted by Screaming Flower


salome and i and our million dutch babies would live in a windmill.
yesh!

we would make our living selling tulips
if only it hadn't been for the financial mismanagement thingie
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Old 06-09-2003, 03:44 PM   #26
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I don't think it is about financial irresponsibility.

Think about the economy and the number of people out of work.....I know a lot of people out there right now who are struggling right now. They bought houses and whatnot - and then, due to no fault of their own, their companies tanked, they lost their jobs.

Now, they are having a tough time making ends meet and finding jobs (and they are not living at home or have parents that can give them money). They have to just pull themselves out of situations. They are not bad people - they have just been hit by the economy or something.

Mind you - there are people who have been financially irresposnsible - and never grow out of it too.

Financial troubles a deal breaker: depends on the charachter of the person!

P.S. - I have told myself, I should not date someone if I am having financial problems - and I haven't in tougher times (when I wasn't working, etc. etc.)
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Old 06-09-2003, 04:26 PM   #27
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no

story:
my mama declared bankruptcy about 2 years ago... right when she hooked up with my soon-to-be stepdad (he moved in). Her problem was credit cards... the saying "out of sight, out of mind" was taken way too literally with her. She'd had a much higher paying job years ago, and due to family reasons had to quit and could only get other jobs that paid lower, and she never really got used to that.
Anyway, we just don't give her any credit cards, and Tim does most of the handling of money, since he makes a lot more than she does anyway. They don't have any joint accounts because she has really craptastic credit.
It works out very well.
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Old 06-09-2003, 04:27 PM   #28
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i wouldn't stop dating a person if i found out they had troubles in the past. those troubles like jeff stated could be for number of reasons. i know people who had to file for bankruptcy because they were ripped off by a former boyfriend or girlfriend. i know many who have turned their life around to get their spending and responsibility on spending back on track. but again like jeff said i know those who are still in the bad habit of spending and do not make forth the effort of changing those bad habits.
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Old 06-09-2003, 04:29 PM   #29
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I say yes. But I like security. it coulda been a fluke, but it also could be a red flag. I guess find out which it is, and continue carefully.
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Old 06-09-2003, 05:57 PM   #30
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No. Let love rule! Just let them know it's a concern and to get everything cleaned up before any marriage or combining of finances. And if you don't love and trust someone enough not to ruin you financially, then you shouldn't be getting married anyway.
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