a message from sovereign deathbear

[Zoomerang96]

as your majestic senior elder, i bring you tidings and a message of goodwill.

for perhaps 3-4 years after i first arrived, i engineered and subsequently fostered growth at this online community by posting thought-provoking and stimulating threads which created a stir and increased interest.

people were always saying:

"oh deathbear, you're so funny."

"oh deathbear, you're so good looking."

"oh deathbear, i love your hotdogs, can i have another?"

"oh deathbear, i wanna take off your pants and feel you me. feel YOU ME."

"hahaha! that was great"

"haha"

"why do you never include me in your power rankings?"

"how did you obtain so much monetary wealth while maintaining such pleasant and down-to-earth mannerisms?"

"you're the reason i even go on the internet at all"

also worth noting are all the things i've done for others, and i quote:

"deathbear nursed by pet crane to health"

"deathbear singlehandedly taught me how to love... and scold a child"

"deathbear's shit is currency as far as i'm concerned. fullstop."

"deathbear's originality is significant, as his words appear to come all from within, never borrowing from something so amateur as saturday night live."

neverthless, within the last couple of years ALL of you have noticed i no longer post with the same amount of gusto as i used to.

indeed, i'm a busy man with big plans. i just wanted to let you know though, kind of like how canada is independent, they still technically rely on the british crown as their head of state.

not unlike canada, while i have let loose the ropes of your freewill and independence, i'm still your head and sovereign and i will continue to demand your respect and submissiveness from here until forever.

yours truly,

original royalty

 

[Canadiens1131]

 

[Zoomerang96]

regine wouldn't approve of that message, so leave her out.

 

[Angela Harlem]

deathbear, do something for me and i will build you a shrine next to the others.

 

[Chris Martin]

Deathbear taught me how to sing.

 

[elevated_u2_fan]

^So it's his fault then?

 

[JessicaAnn]

You had me at hotdogs.

 

[Night & Day]

Deathbear helped me save hundreds on my car insurance.

And suggested i use applesauce instead of oil in my cake recipes,
which reduces the fat content and makes for a moister cake.


Deathbear

 

[Angela Harlem]

OMG he suggested I use apple sauce in my car instead of oil, too. Just what is going on here?

 

[lmjhitman]

"oh deathbear, i wanna take off your pants and feel you me. feel YOU ME."

i'm so flattered that you remembered when i said that to you, bear.

and remember you said not to worry because you weren't even wearing pants?

good times, bear. good times.

 

[Night & Day]

OMG he suggested I use apple sauce in my car instead of oil, too. Just what is going on here?

Yikes ..
That wasn't too nice, are we talking about the same Deathbear?

 

[JessicaAnn]

"why do you never include me in your power rankings?"

Aren't we due for another edition of the Deathbear Power RankingsTM?