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Old 02-12-2007, 12:40 AM   #1
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a message from sovereign deathbear



as your majestic senior elder, i bring you tidings and a message of goodwill.

for perhaps 3-4 years after i first arrived, i engineered and subsequently fostered growth at this online community by posting thought-provoking and stimulating threads which created a stir and increased interest.

people were always saying:

"oh deathbear, you're so funny."

"oh deathbear, you're so good looking."

"oh deathbear, i love your hotdogs, can i have another?"

"oh deathbear, i wanna take off your pants and feel you me. feel YOU ME."

"hahaha! that was great"

"haha"

"why do you never include me in your power rankings?"

"how did you obtain so much monetary wealth while maintaining such pleasant and down-to-earth mannerisms?"

"you're the reason i even go on the internet at all"

also worth noting are all the things i've done for others, and i quote:

"deathbear nursed by pet crane to health"

"deathbear singlehandedly taught me how to love... and scold a child"

"deathbear's shit is currency as far as i'm concerned. fullstop."

"deathbear's originality is significant, as his words appear to come all from within, never borrowing from something so amateur as saturday night live."

neverthless, within the last couple of years ALL of you have noticed i no longer post with the same amount of gusto as i used to.

indeed, i'm a busy man with big plans. i just wanted to let you know though, kind of like how canada is independent, they still technically rely on the british crown as their head of state.

not unlike canada, while i have let loose the ropes of your freewill and independence, i'm still your head and sovereign and i will continue to demand your respect and submissiveness from here until forever.

yours truly,

original royalty

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Old 02-12-2007, 01:19 AM   #2
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Old 02-12-2007, 01:22 AM   #3
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regine wouldn't approve of that message, so leave her out.
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Old 02-12-2007, 04:55 AM   #4
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deathbear, do something for me and i will build you a shrine next to the others.
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Old 02-12-2007, 02:24 PM   #5
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Deathbear taught me how to sing.
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Old 02-12-2007, 02:52 PM   #6
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^So it's his fault then?
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Old 02-12-2007, 03:36 PM   #7
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You had me at hotdogs.
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Old 02-12-2007, 04:33 PM   #8
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Deathbear helped me save hundreds on my car insurance.

And suggested i use applesauce instead of oil in my cake recipes,
which reduces the fat content and makes for a moister cake.


Deathbear
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Old 02-12-2007, 04:41 PM   #9
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OMG he suggested I use apple sauce in my car instead of oil, too. Just what is going on here?
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Old 02-12-2007, 04:43 PM   #10
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Re: a message from sovereign deathbear

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoomerang96
"oh deathbear, i wanna take off your pants and feel you me. feel YOU ME."
i'm so flattered that you remembered when i said that to you, bear.

and remember you said not to worry because you weren't even wearing pants?

good times, bear. good times.
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Old 02-12-2007, 06:42 PM   #11
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Quote:
Originally posted by Angela Harlem
OMG he suggested I use apple sauce in my car instead of oil, too. Just what is going on here?
Yikes ..
That wasn't too nice, are we talking about the same Deathbear?
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Old 02-13-2007, 11:59 AM   #12
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Re: a message from sovereign deathbear

Quote:
Originally posted by Zoomerang96
[B]"why do you never include me in your power rankings?"
Aren't we due for another edition of the Deathbear Power RankingsTM?
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