A list of things that should've happened in Lord Of........and didnt! (IMO) - U2 Feedback

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Old 10-21-2002, 11:53 AM   #1
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A list of things that should've happened in Lord Of........and didnt! (IMO)

All the tings I wish hadda happened, and would’ve with me directing…….so that u could all tink Im more ‘mad’ than already am……. none of you will find the following funny or possible understand it, only I can see it and unfort my insides are drained of their natural selves……from seeing what Im seeing……..er……..never mind! I have to share my bollox!

(rough from start of film to end)

At the battle where Saurum lifts his head and u can see the back of him, he should screamed at them all……………..’Which one of u mutherf*kers took my Jazz collection!’

At the scene where Frodo and Gandalf were on the cart pulled by horse, it shoulda cut from scene to scene with the road getting bumpier, and the weather getting rougher…………….

At Bilbos party, there should have been a stripper.

When Frodo throws Sam towards the girl who makes him dance with her, the camera shoulda cut to her and him spinning Jack and Rose ‘Titanic’ style, with her laughin wildly and Sam’s eyes crossing with dizziness.

In Bilbo’s house, there should have been an entertainment centre including DVD, Plasma Screen and 8-triple thingy CD player topped off with coloured lights flashing…..it coulda been a fantastic surprise for Gandalf to see!

Before Bilbo set off he should’ve kicked Gandalf hard in the knee, or head-butted that area.

When Frodo is seen through Bilbos windows by Gandalf, and Frodo is walking half-cut, he shoulda hiccupped once.

When Sam is thrown onto the floor by Gandalf, he should tackled the big man for a few seconds.

When Sam and Frodo are walking……….through the fields……damn! Woulda been great a shot of them walking past an ice-cream van. Even stopping for an ice-cream debating on what to have woulda been funny, maybe………. ( I just think Elijah is class as Frodo!)

The Ringwraiths shoulda worn deedly-boppers. Or at least funky head-bands.

The Ringwraiths also shoulda rode round naked….(Im sorry, but I woulda given anyfukingthing to have seen the guys who played the Ringwraiths!!!!!!! - strength, power and beauty! Strength power and beauty!)

When Sauraman uses his big feckers and spins Gandalf to the top, Gandalf should have stopped midway, took his cloak off, then continued……….

When the four Hobbits reached Bree………they should have all looked round to check they were safe, then did a quick break-dance routine as in ‘Up Urs’ to the Ring Riders….!

When all four are in the pub, all the men should threw beer and water all over the wee mites to celebrate them comin in….before returning to their card games and stuff.

When it cuts to Aragorn smoking pipe after Frodo asks who the fuk he is, Aragorn should startin choking on the smoke.

When it fleetingly shows Aragorns eyes close up when something near them is lighting up…….it shoulda showed a tiny Mr McPhisto (HMTMKMKM cartoon style), in both eyes………eeeeeeeevil!

When all four hobbits are in bed, it shows Sam…….we should’ve seen a womans hand move up along his chest.

When it shows Ringwraiths holding their swords at where they assumed Hobbits were lyin, one of them should ‘scratched his bazamaas’.
(for a laff like!)

When Aragorn is walking the Hobbits towards Rivendell, he should have tripped up over a rock.

When Frodo stamps out the fire……the hairs on his foot should’ve frazzled and become wirey like this smiley’s head….

When it shows the hobbits looking down at the 3 Rings comin toward them, they should have waved to each other….Ringwraith to Hobbit.

When Frodo gets stabbed, he should have shouted out ‘You b*sterd!’

When Aragorn steps in to fight the Ringriders off, he should have done some backward flips and the likes, and kicked their coconuts in.

When a knife is held under Aragorns neck, it should have been a long plastic sword, illuminous colour, borrowed from Playskool.

When Arwen jumps off the horse, she shoulda got her feet tangled up and swung down upside down and all……20 seconds later trying to compose herself.

When she is riding with Arwen, Frodo shoulda have tried to show off by doing a handstand on horse’s neck…….really piss the Ringwraiths off!

When Frodo sits up in bed, it should have been a water-bed……..

When Boromir picks up the sword, he should have pretended it was a Star Wars light sabre for 5 seconds.

When Arwen and Aragorn are on bridge…..she should have slapped his left cheek, then his right, then his left again, before kissing him.

When the meeting is taking place, and they all get up and stand up/fight against each other with words……….Peter Jackson should have stepped in with us seeing the back of his head, raising his hands and saying ‘Would you all calm the fuk down?’

When it cuts to the nine walking along the mountain, Bill the pony should have just shot off dead quickly, almost draggin whomever was leading him.

When they all reach the river, Boromir and Aragorn should have stripped down to nothing for a quick bath……..and a pint handed to them by the Hobbits!

When they are inside, the fighting scene with the orcs, in the middle of it the doors shoulda burst open with Liam Neeson and Darth Vadar cutting through to the other room apologizing for cutting through the scene – naturally all orcs and Fellowship stop to watch in amazment.

When they all start running down with the orcs following and climbing down from walls etc, Zoo Station by U2 should’ve been playing….I really tink the music beat would match their running beat.

When crossing the breaking steps………Aragorn shoulda impressed us all by walking down them on his hands.

When Gandalf is pulled down to his death…….he shoulda bounced back up again, and said to camera..’That scared you all!’…………… before falling back down again.

When the other 8 reach Galedriels land…..the man who is with the other elves pointing their arrows, should have thrown in a quick rendition of ‘Danny Boy; (don’t ask)

When Galadriel greets them all, she should have just grabbed Boromir and Aragorn and just smooched them 2 mins each…………camera from close up to Hobbits et all looking at each other surprised.

When the are in the boats and pass the two giant statues……one of the statues should have winked at Frodo looking at it.

When the big mutherf*ker who kills Boromir walks about, he shoulda been in a pink tu-tu.

After Boromir dies and Aragorn walks away, we shoulda heard Boromor shout, looking at Aragorn, ‘Im not really dead ya big eejit!’ Cue two men hugging endlessly and slapping each others happy faces.

When Sam is drowning, a naked mermaid shouldve swam past in front of him……THAT woulda woken his arse up!

At the end when Legolas, Aragorn and the wee man are together, they shoulda done a ‘One for All and All for One’ with their hands before leaving! And Sam and Frodo shoulda done a high-five and bum-bop before leaving……

During the credits we should heard the cast swearing.

Hey, I actually cannie remember most of 2nd half as Ive watched mainly 1st half, but ROLL ON LOTR 2, TT…..NOW LOIKE!

Ok this is my last thread for a while……..


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Old 10-21-2002, 01:52 PM   #2
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<insert whiny voice> duuuuude. OMC that is so long I will have to read it later. I don't have that much of an attention span right now. Ugh.

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Old 10-21-2002, 05:31 PM   #3
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what a laugh it was to read that Mad!!! I like your avatar too by the way, the only wish that I have of FOTR is that there was more Legolas in it, anyway I cant wait for TT to come out- roll on December
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Old 10-21-2002, 09:46 PM   #4
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All of these happened in the book. I keep telling people to go back to the book because they're missing sooo much.

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Old 10-21-2002, 10:04 PM   #5
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I know. I gave up on trying to tell people. Some shit you just gotta let go.
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